Set Phasers On Yum!

We truly live in a wondrous age. We can talk to anyone in the world on a device smaller than a deck of cards. We can send probes to distant worlds. We use robots to vacuum our floors. We even have the technology to manufacture a blanket with sleeves.

Yet all that pales with the unveiling of the newest wonder science has to offer us. I'm speaking of course, of Eggo Brand Star Trek Frozen Waffles.


When I was a boy I used to dream about flying to work in a jetpack, vacationing on the moon and coming home to a meal of frozen waffles cooked by my robot butler. Unbelievably, that day is now one step closer to reality. It almost seems like a dream to be able to eat frozen waffles emblazoned with the images of the crew of the Starship Enterprise, from the hit summer movie.

I could scarcely contain my excitement as I opened the box to examine the frosty treasure contained within. First up we have two waffles bearing the image of Captain Kirk, sitting in his command chair as he strikes his iconic pose. Breakfast was never this thrilling!

But wait, there's more! On the left we have the sultry Lt. Uhura, sporting her new be-ponytailed hairdo. And on the right, a tasty waffle with the image of Ensign Rick Astley. Hey, who Rickrolled my breakfast?

The fun doesn't stop there! On the left is the brave and hearty Lt. Sulu. Or perhaps it's Lt. Cmdr. Owen Wilson. Honestly, while these amazing waffles are truly the marvel of the age, it's sometimes hard to tell who I'm supposed to be looking at. But I'm sure the fault lies with me, and not with this incredible new technology!

On the right is, from the way his eyebrow is upraised, the crusty but lovable Dr. McCoy. I don't remember him having red hair in the TV show or the new movie, but what do I know. Waffles don't lie.

Lastly we have... um, the planet Saturn and one of its moons, and... um... some sort of space arrowhead. Or perhaps it's the symbol of the Romulan Empire. Whatever it's supposed to be, there's no doubt it's tasty!

I'm a little miffed that I didn't get any Spock or Starship Enterprise waffles. The box claims there are 25 different designs and you only get 8 waffles, so I guess it's a crapshoot as to what ones you get. Note, don't say "crapshoot" when talking about waffles.

The Future is here, and it's delicious!