Things You Should Know About Me: Left-Eared

Like most normal humans, I am right-handed (I kid, I kid! No angry letters, please). However I am most definitely left-eared.

What the hell does that mean, I hear you asking? It means when I talk on the phone I have to hold it up to my left ear. I can't use a phone with my right ear.

It isn't that I can't hear out of my right ear. On the contrary, I've always had near-superhuman hearing. It's just too weird to hold the phone up to my right ear. It feels wrong, like "petting a dog's fur against the grain" wrong. Silly as it may sound, I could no more talk on the phone with my right ear than I could pick a lock with my toes.

I'm not sure how this ear dominance came about, or if it afflicts anyone besides me. Maybe it resulted from the fact that I'm right-handed and usually doodle or perform other tasks while I'm on the phone, leaving my left hand free. It would be mighty awkward indeed to hold the phone to my right ear with my left hand, so... I became left-eared.