Bosses From The Eighth Circle Of Hell: Restroom Surprise

Throughout my career I've prided myself on working hard, performing what's asked of me to the best of my ability and being an all-around good employee. I've also done my best to get along with my various bosses. 

Alas, sometimes that's just not possible. Sometimes you end up with a Boss From The Eighth Circle Of Hell.

Back in the 1990s I worked at a marketing agency for a rather colorful Boss.

The men's room at the agency contained the usual: a urinal and two stalls. One day I went in to use the facilities and as I walked past the first stall, the door suddenly flew open. There was my Boss, sitting inside like a trapdoor spider just waiting for someone to walk by.

He actually wanted to discuss some marketing project while he sat there calmly doing his business with his pants around his ankles. Apparently he must have thought he was LBJ. I stammered a bit, averted my gaze and quickly did an about face and got the hell out of there.

A few days later I walked into the men's room and the stall door burst open again, once more revealing the Boss sitting there in all his glory. This time he tried to hand me a report that he wanted me to look over. I refused to touch it (and made a mental note to never again touch anything in that office for the rest of my life) and bolted for the door. Cheezus, we had a perfectly good conference room in the building; why'd he keep trying to hold meetings in the crapper?

Later I found out that I wasn't the first to experience his surprise bathroom "meetings." He'd opened his stall door to virtually every other male on the staff. Eventually we learned to always check and make sure he wasn't in the men's room before going in.