Tales From The Grocery: The Smoker

A year ago I got a second job as a cashier at a grocery store in order to pay off some bills. It was a miserable, humiliating and demoralizing experience in every measurable sense, and I got the hell out of there as soon as my bills were paid. I feel genuinely sorry for anyone who has to work in such a place.

Enjoy this terrifying Tale From The Grocery. All Tales are 100% true. 

One night a man came through my checkout line with a LIT cigarette dangling from his mouth! What the hell, did he just come from 1985? You haven't been allowed to smoke inside a public building in decades.

He acted like he was already half drunk and was buying more mind-numbing booze, so he may not have even realized he was inside.

When I told him-- in between coughs-- that he had to put out his coffin nail, he yanked it out of his mouth and made a pitiful attempt to hide it behind his back. Wow, where'd your cigarette go, David Copperfield? I rang him up as quickly as I could to get him the hell out of the store and my life.