Why Do They Call Them Comics: Snuffy Smith

Get a load of this Snuffy Smith comic from last weekend. If we're to believe Loweezy's plaintive cry in panel three, her husband Snuffy has apparently stopped drinking (!). 

Wha...? When the hell did that happen? For 80 years now, Snuffy Smith has been portrayed as a lazy, uneducated, chicken stealing, card cheating, law dodging, moonshine brewing no good hillbilly drunkard. Now suddenly he's off the sauce?

I have to assume this ret-con is all part of the touchy-feely, Kumbaya singing, politically correct system that passes for our current society. I wouldn't be surprised if the Brittle Soccer Mom Brigade had something to do with it as well.

Because a character who's a "comical drunk" is no longer acceptable, especially on the nation's comics pages, dontcha know. People with such addictions are terrible role models! Won't someone please think of the children?

I can't wait to see what's next for Snuffy. I suppose in addition to his alcohol abuse outreach program, he'll also seek help for his gambling addiction. Then he'll no doubt stop stealing chickens and become Sheriff Tait's deputy. Or maybe he'll quit dozing against a log, leave Hootin' Holler, move to the big city and finally get a job. Perhaps as an investment banker, or marketing consultant?

I don't want to live on this planet anymore...

By the way, here's some fuel for your nightmares: see those two pendulous masses sagging well below Loweezy's waistline? Those aren't folds in her top. Those are her mammoth, drooping breasts. Shudder.