My comments are in red, while Kyle's are in blue. Note that he isn't making very many predictions this year, as he's only concerned with films he plans to see.
September
Wow, the pickin's are slim indeed this month! Looking at this list, there's maybe one lone movie I care about seeing. And then Hollywood wonders why ticket sales are down this year!
Based on Stephen King's 1986 novel. Children begin mysteriously disappearing from the sleepy town of Derry, Maine (of course). A group of kids band together to battle Pennywise, the evil, demonic clown that's responsible for the abductions. Premieres September 8.
The trailers for It look suitably creepy, and the new version of Pennywise is OK, I guess, but I'm seeing some red flags waving over the project. It's been in development hell since 2009 (!) and has gone through two different directors, which isn't exactly a good sign. It's currently being directed by Andres Muschietti, whose only previous film was the mediocre horror film Mama.
It also has three screenwriters, which is often a bad sign. Two of them have no credits of any note, while the third, Gary Dauberman, wrote Annabelle and Annabelle: Creation. That's not exactly filling me with confidence.
My biggest concern about the film is its structure. The book takes place in two separate time periods, following the characters when they're children and then later as adults. This film only follows the kid part of the story, saving the adult half— and Pennywise's ultimate demise— for an assumed sequel. This may not be a problem though, as splitting books into two films worked out pretty well for The Hunger Games and Twilight.
By the way, I wonder if this film will include the novel's "tween gang bang" scene? You know, the one in which a bunch of twelve year olds have sex with one another to "strengthen their bonds" so they can defeat the evil Pennywise? Let's all pray to the movie gods that the producers skip that part.
Despite my reservations about the project, there's a HUGE amount of buzz surrounding this film, which surprises me, especially since The Dark Tower, which is also based on a Stephen King novel, is still stinking up a few screens around the country. The internet's been going batch*t nuts over It for months and months now, which makes me think it's gonna be a huge hit. This baffles me, as I have little or no desire to see it. Maybe the memories of the mediocre 1990 TV miniseries are coloring my views of the project.
The budget reportedly somewhere between $35 and $45 million, which sounds awfully low. If true, It is guaranteed to be a box office smash. On the other hand, it's rated R, so that'll no doubt cut into its gross. On the other other hand, there's little or no competition in September, so I'm confident it'll make around $200 - $250 million here in the States.
9/11
Charlie Sheen plays one of five people trapped in an elevator in the North Tower of the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001. He and the others struggle to escape before the building comes down around them. Premieres September 8 (I guess coming out on 9/11 would have been too much?).
You don't need to be Nostradamus to know this movie's gonna bomb hard. The trailer was met with gales of criticism, calling it "manipulative" and "beyond offensive." The fact that star Charlie Sheen is a known "9/11 Truther" doesn't help either.
I can't find any info on the movie's budget, but it looks pretty cheap (remember, most of it takes place inside an elevator!). I'm betting it's only gonna make around $15 million. If that!
mother!
Charlie Sheen plays one of five people trapped in an elevator in the North Tower of the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001. He and the others struggle to escape before the building comes down around them. Premieres September 8 (I guess coming out on 9/11 would have been too much?).
You don't need to be Nostradamus to know this movie's gonna bomb hard. The trailer was met with gales of criticism, calling it "manipulative" and "beyond offensive." The fact that star Charlie Sheen is a known "9/11 Truther" doesn't help either.
I can't find any info on the movie's budget, but it looks pretty cheap (remember, most of it takes place inside an elevator!). I'm betting it's only gonna make around $15 million. If that!
mother!
Jennifer Lawrence and Javier Bardem play a couple (!) whose tranquil life is disturbed by a mysterious couple who come to live with them. Premieres September 15.
Yet another movie I have zero interest in seeing. There's all sorts of buzz surrounding it though, which again puzzles me.
Yet another movie I have zero interest in seeing. There's all sorts of buzz surrounding it though, which again puzzles me.
It's got a great cast though. Naturally, the film continues the time-honored Hollywood tradition casting a leading man who's twice the age of his female love interest. It's directed by Darren Aronofsky, whose films are always stylish and well-made, but never tear up the box office.
I can't find any info in it's budget (which seems to be a recurring theme), but I'm sure it's pretty low. I'm betting it'll make around $60 million here in the States.
Kingsman: The Golden Circle
Everyone's back for this second installment in the Kingsman franchise, including director Matthew Vaughn and Colin Firth, whose character died in the first movie, but apparently got better. Premieres September 22.
Everyone's back for this second installment in the Kingsman franchise, including director Matthew Vaughn and Colin Firth, whose character died in the first movie, but apparently got better. Premieres September 22.
Finally, a movie I'm actually excited to see! The first film was a surprise box office hit, grossing an impressive $414 million worldwide against its slim $81 million budget. I expect this one to be just as popular, especially since there's little or no competition for it in September. I'm betting it'll make around $450 million worldwide.
Stronger
Jake Gyllenhaal stars in the true story of Jeff Bauman, the most famous victim of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombing. Premieres September 22.
Jake Gyllenhaal stars in the true story of Jeff Bauman, the most famous victim of the 2013 Boston Marathon bombing. Premieres September 22.
The trailer looks interesting, but I have a couple of concerns about the film. Patriots Day (which was also about the Boston bombing) came out last year and was a huge box office flop, so that's not a good sign. Secondly it's directed by David Gordon Green, whose previous work includes the stoner comedies The Sitter, Your Highness and Pineapple Express (!). An odd choice for a serious biopic.
Again, no budget info. I predict it'll make around $35 - $40 million here.
Again, no budget info. I predict it'll make around $35 - $40 million here.
Battle of the Sexes
The story of the infamous 1970s tennis match between Bobby Riggs (played by Steve Carell) and Billie Jean King (played by Emma Stone). Jesus, I almost fell asleep just typing that sentence. Premieres September 22.
Despite the fact that this match was a HUGE media event back in the day, I don't see how you could make an entire film about it. I'll save you ten bucks— King won. It's directed by Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris, who previously helmed Little Miss Sunshine. I liked that film quite a bit, so I guess that's a good sign.
I suspect this'll have a fairly limited release, so I don't see it grossing over $30 million in the States.
The story of the infamous 1970s tennis match between Bobby Riggs (played by Steve Carell) and Billie Jean King (played by Emma Stone). Jesus, I almost fell asleep just typing that sentence. Premieres September 22.
Despite the fact that this match was a HUGE media event back in the day, I don't see how you could make an entire film about it. I'll save you ten bucks— King won. It's directed by Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris, who previously helmed Little Miss Sunshine. I liked that film quite a bit, so I guess that's a good sign.
I suspect this'll have a fairly limited release, so I don't see it grossing over $30 million in the States.
Friend Request
A college student unfriends a mysterious girl who turns out to be a demon that starts killing her classmates. Premieres September 22.
Hooray, another internet-themed horror film! Because the internet is scary, right? Right? Wrong.
Hooray, another internet-themed horror film! Because the internet is scary, right? Right? Wrong.
This is a German film that was released there in 2016, and is just now finding its way to the States. As we all know, delayed release dates are always a bad, bad sign.
The film stars no one you've ever heard of, but the budget was a microscopic $6 million, so it'll have no problem turning a profit. I predict it'll make around $25 - $30 million.
The Lego Ninjago Movie
Six young warriors have to defend their island home of Ninjago. They're deadly warriors by night, but ordinary high school students by day. Premieres September 29.
Six young warriors have to defend their island home of Ninjago. They're deadly warriors by night, but ordinary high school students by day. Premieres September 29.
The 2013 Lego Movie was a huge hit, grossing $470 million against its modest $60 million budget. This year's The Batman Lego Movie didn't do quite as well, making $311 million against its $80 million budget.
I suspect this film will continue that downward trend, grossing between $200 - $250 million in the States.
Flatliners
Five medical students are obsessed with the question of life after death. To find answers, they experiment by stopping their hearts for short periods to see what— if anything— lies beyond. Premieres September 29.
From the director of the original The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo comes this remake (?) of the 1990 supernatural thriller. There seems to be some confusion as to whether this is a straight up remake or a sequel.
Five medical students are obsessed with the question of life after death. To find answers, they experiment by stopping their hearts for short periods to see what— if anything— lies beyond. Premieres September 29.
From the director of the original The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo comes this remake (?) of the 1990 supernatural thriller. There seems to be some confusion as to whether this is a straight up remake or a sequel.
The original film was pretty big hit back in the day (grossing the equivalent of $114 million), but I honestly don't think there'll be much interest in this version. I'm betting it'll make around $50 million in the States.
American Made
An airline pilot (played by Tom Cruise) begins working for the CIA and as a drug runner in South America during the 1980s. Premieres September 29.
Tom Cruise hasn't exactly been burning up the box office lately, as he's had a string of flops here (cough The Mummy cough). As usual, Cruise's love interest is played by a woman who's twenty two years younger than him. The film's directed by Doug Liman, who previously helmed several of the Bourne movies, as well as Cruise's Edge Of Tomorrow, so at least it's got that going for it.
Tom Cruise hasn't exactly been burning up the box office lately, as he's had a string of flops here (cough The Mummy cough). As usual, Cruise's love interest is played by a woman who's twenty two years younger than him. The film's directed by Doug Liman, who previously helmed several of the Bourne movies, as well as Cruise's Edge Of Tomorrow, so at least it's got that going for it.
Sigh... I dunno. I don't see this being a huge hit. I think it'll make $60 million in the States, tops.
October
Yikes. October's not looking much better. Wouldn't it make sense to release a few horror films this month?
The last thing the world needs is a Blade Runner sequel, as the first film is a self-contained classic. I can't imagine this new entry's going to add anything worthwhile to the mythology, and will most likely tarnish the memory of the original.
It's directed by Denis Villeneuve, who previously helmed Sicario and Arrival, which were both great films. And original Blade Runner screenwriter Hampton Fancher is back as well, so who knows? It might actually turn out OK. As long as they all ignore original director Ridley's Scott's asinine idea that Deckard was actually a replicant, we'l probably be OK.
The film supposedly has a runtime of nearly three butt-numbing hours though, which is going to limit how many times a day it can be shown, which will severely affect the box office. I honestly don't think it'll be a smash hit, even with Ryan Gosling as a draw. Arrival made around $100 million in the States, and I think this'll do about the same. $120 million tops.
I've seen the original Blade Runner, and I don't see what all the fuss was about. It's not a bad movie, far from it, but aside from the fantastic visuals, I wasn't that invested in the plot. Maybe it's just because similar themes have been explored in so many other movies since it's initial release such as Total Recall and Minority Report, among others, and the impact of seeing it fresh was lost on me. It's also possible that, with five different cuts of the movie available, I picked the wrong one to watch.
That said, I'm not sure how the public will react to this one. This appears to be a direct sequel, however, I'm not sure how many people have actually seen the original. I love the director of this movie, Denis Villeneuve (if you haven't seen his 2014 film Enemy, go see it now). Villeneuve's name has been tossed around as a potential direct of a new adaptation of Dune and I would love to see that.
Box office prediction: No idea. It's not a well known property, but Harrison Ford and Ryan Gosling should give it some credibility. May do slightly better than the directors last outing, Arrival, so somewhere in the range of $250-$300 million.
Bob here again. Funny you should mention Blade Runner's themes being similar to those in Total Recall and Minority Report. All three films are based on the work of the late sci-fi author Phillip K. Dick, who's favorite plot seemed to be "What does it mean to be human?"
The Mountain Between Us
A small plane carrying two strangers (played by Idris Elba and Kate Winslet) crash-lands on a mountain. When they realize rescue isn't coming, they embark on a perilous journey through the wilderness. Premieres October 6.
The trailer looks mildly interesting, but it's directed by Many Abu-Assad, who's made nothing you've ever heard of before. I honestly don't see it being a huge hit, and think it'll likely gross around $40 - $50 million.
My Little Pony
A dark force threatens Ponyville (?) and the Ponies have to use the magic of friendship to save their home. Oy. Premieres October 13.
How the hell is a My Little Pony movie just now a thing? The revamped series has been around since 2010! I can't believe this film was seven years in the making.
It's a kid's movie, which ordinarily would guarantee it at least $100 million. My Little Pony's a special case though, as kids can watch the series every week on TV, which might make some parents reluctant to shell out ticket money. I'll say it'll gross about $150 million.
Happy Death Day
A young college student is killed on campus, but keeps waking up again on the morning of her death. She'll keep on reliving the same day over and over until she can solve her own murder. Premieres October 13.
So this is basically every slasher movie ever made crossed with Groundhog Day. It's directed by Christopher Landon (son of Little House On The Prairie's Michael Landon!). Landon previously wrote Disturbia (not bad) and directed Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones (bad) and Scouts Guide To The Zombie Apocalypse (just OK), so honestly this could go either way. The budget's a microscopic $5 million, so even if it's awful it's guaranteed to turn a profit. I'm guessing it'll make around $30 - $35 million.
The Snowman
Geostorm
I've seen the original Blade Runner, and I don't see what all the fuss was about. It's not a bad movie, far from it, but aside from the fantastic visuals, I wasn't that invested in the plot. Maybe it's just because similar themes have been explored in so many other movies since it's initial release such as Total Recall and Minority Report, among others, and the impact of seeing it fresh was lost on me. It's also possible that, with five different cuts of the movie available, I picked the wrong one to watch.
That said, I'm not sure how the public will react to this one. This appears to be a direct sequel, however, I'm not sure how many people have actually seen the original. I love the director of this movie, Denis Villeneuve (if you haven't seen his 2014 film Enemy, go see it now). Villeneuve's name has been tossed around as a potential direct of a new adaptation of Dune and I would love to see that.
Box office prediction: No idea. It's not a well known property, but Harrison Ford and Ryan Gosling should give it some credibility. May do slightly better than the directors last outing, Arrival, so somewhere in the range of $250-$300 million.
Bob here again. Funny you should mention Blade Runner's themes being similar to those in Total Recall and Minority Report. All three films are based on the work of the late sci-fi author Phillip K. Dick, who's favorite plot seemed to be "What does it mean to be human?"
The Mountain Between Us
A small plane carrying two strangers (played by Idris Elba and Kate Winslet) crash-lands on a mountain. When they realize rescue isn't coming, they embark on a perilous journey through the wilderness. Premieres October 6.
The trailer looks mildly interesting, but it's directed by Many Abu-Assad, who's made nothing you've ever heard of before. I honestly don't see it being a huge hit, and think it'll likely gross around $40 - $50 million.
My Little Pony
A dark force threatens Ponyville (?) and the Ponies have to use the magic of friendship to save their home. Oy. Premieres October 13.
How the hell is a My Little Pony movie just now a thing? The revamped series has been around since 2010! I can't believe this film was seven years in the making.
It's a kid's movie, which ordinarily would guarantee it at least $100 million. My Little Pony's a special case though, as kids can watch the series every week on TV, which might make some parents reluctant to shell out ticket money. I'll say it'll gross about $150 million.
Happy Death Day
A young college student is killed on campus, but keeps waking up again on the morning of her death. She'll keep on reliving the same day over and over until she can solve her own murder. Premieres October 13.
So this is basically every slasher movie ever made crossed with Groundhog Day. It's directed by Christopher Landon (son of Little House On The Prairie's Michael Landon!). Landon previously wrote Disturbia (not bad) and directed Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones (bad) and Scouts Guide To The Zombie Apocalypse (just OK), so honestly this could go either way. The budget's a microscopic $5 million, so even if it's awful it's guaranteed to turn a profit. I'm guessing it'll make around $30 - $35 million.
The Snowman
A thriller about a detective (played by Michael Fassbender) who investigates the disappearance of a woman whose pink scarf was found wrapped around a creepy-looking snowman. Premieres October 20.
Before I make any box office prediction here, I'd just like to point out that Michael Fassbender plays a character named "Harry Hole." Um... what the hell?
The trailer has kind of a Seven-ish vibe to it, but honestly it didn't do much for me. It's directed by Tomas Alfredson, who also helmed the original Let The Right One In, which was pretty good. It's gonna make $60 million, tops.
Before I make any box office prediction here, I'd just like to point out that Michael Fassbender plays a character named "Harry Hole." Um... what the hell?
The trailer has kind of a Seven-ish vibe to it, but honestly it didn't do much for me. It's directed by Tomas Alfredson, who also helmed the original Let The Right One In, which was pretty good. It's gonna make $60 million, tops.
A disaster porn film starring Gerard Butler as a man traveling to space in an attempt to fix Earth's out of control environment. Premieres October 20.
The trailer's batsh*t insane, and honestly looks like it could be a lot of fun. It's directed by Dean Devlin, who produced Independence Day and Godzilla 1998, so expect the same type of "Multiple Cliched Characters Battling Special Effects" films. The very similar San Andreas grossed $470 million worldwide a couple years ago, and I would expect this one to do pretty much the same. I'm guessing it'll make about $150 million here, and $300 million overseas.
The trailer's batsh*t insane, and honestly looks like it could be a lot of fun. It's directed by Dean Devlin, who produced Independence Day and Godzilla 1998, so expect the same type of "Multiple Cliched Characters Battling Special Effects" films. The very similar San Andreas grossed $470 million worldwide a couple years ago, and I would expect this one to do pretty much the same. I'm guessing it'll make about $150 million here, and $300 million overseas.
Insidious Chapter 4
The always great Lynn Shaye returns for a fourth film, despite the fact that her character died in the first film (Um, SPOILERS!). Premieres October 20.
Wait, there was an Insidious 3? Wow, these movies are all starting to run together. I just read the online synopsis and it didn't ring a single bell. Either I didn't see it, or I sat through it and completely forgot about it by the time I got back to my car.
The first film made a decent $54 million, the second a respectable $83 million, and the third dropped to $52 million. I would expect that downward trend to continue. I think it'll make around $40 - $50 million here.
The always great Lynn Shaye returns for a fourth film, despite the fact that her character died in the first film (Um, SPOILERS!). Premieres October 20.
Wait, there was an Insidious 3? Wow, these movies are all starting to run together. I just read the online synopsis and it didn't ring a single bell. Either I didn't see it, or I sat through it and completely forgot about it by the time I got back to my car.
The first film made a decent $54 million, the second a respectable $83 million, and the third dropped to $52 million. I would expect that downward trend to continue. I think it'll make around $40 - $50 million here.
Boo! 2: A Madea Halloween
Madea and her friends visit a haunted campground and run for their lives when monsters are unleashed. Premieres October 20.
I guess that should properly be Tyler Perry's Boo! 2: A Madea Halloween. I've seen exactly one Madea movie in my life, as I caught it on Amazon Prime last year. All I'm gonna say about it is that it was a hard watch, and these movies are obviously not made for me. Someone must like 'em though, as Perry keeps pumping them out year after year after year.
The Madea movies consistently gross about the same amount each time, like there's a very loyal core audience that dutifully trots out to see each one. The previous Boo! A Madea Halloween grossed an impressive $74 million against its slim $20 million budget. I would expect this one to do the same, or a little worse. I'm betting it'll make $65 million.
Jigsaw
Mutilated bodies begin turning up around the city, and the investigation points to John Kramer, aka the Jigsaw Killer, who's been dead for over a decade. Premieres October 27.
The first Saw film was massively profitable back in 2004, grossing an astonishing $103 million worldwide against its microscopic $1.2 million budget! That fact right there explains why there were a whopping SIX sequels! All of them except Saw VI have reliably grossed over $100 million worldwide, and I would expect this one to do the same. I'm betting it'll gross around $50 - $60 million here in the States, and $100 million overseas.
November
November's not looking a whole lot better than the other months. Other than the two superhero movies duking it out, there's still not much of interest playing. Isn't November supposed to be the kickoff of the big holiday movie season?
Thor: Ragnarok
In his third solo film, Thor teams up with the Hulk to prevent the evil goddess Helga from destroying Asgard. Premieres November 3.
One of the few films I'm actually looking forward to in 2017. It looks like a hell of a lot of fun, and will be the perfect antidote to DC's dour and dismal Justice League. It's helmed by Taika Watiti, who co-wrote, co-directed and co-starred in What We Do In The Shadows, which I liked quite a bit.
Thor The Dark World grossed $640 million worldwide, so I expect this one to do at least that well. I'm gonna say $700 million worldwide.
I liked Thor: The Dark World when I first saw it, but now it's one of those movies where every time you watch it, it gets worse. I'd like to see Thor have at least one good movie before they kill off the character in Infinity war, and this is the last chance for that to happen. Fingers crossed.
Box office prediction: $650-$725 million.
A Bad Moms Christmas
The gals from Bad Moms struggle to cope when their respective mothers come to visit for the holidays. Premieres November 3.
First of all, I understand why the title doesn't have an apostrophe in "Moms," but it's honestly driving me nuts. Plus it's just going to confuse our populace, which already has no clue when it comes to proper punctuation.
Anyway, I didn't see the first film, but it grossed an impressive $183 million worldwide against its tiny $20 million budget. Obviously that made a sequel inevitable. It's directed by Jon Lucas and Scott Moore, who, for good or ill, brought us the Hangover movies. I think this one'll do about the same as the first. I'm gonna say $180 million worldwide.
Blade Of The Immortal
An immortal warrior teams up with a young girl to seek revenge on the people who killed her family. Based on the popular manga. Premieres November 3.
The trailer looks fun, and it's the 100th film from director Takashi Miike, who brought us Ichi The Killer, One Missed Call, Zebraman and 13 Assassins, among many others.
I guarantee this will have a limited release, playing in just a handful of cities. Couple that with its lengthy two hour and twenty minute runtime, and there's no way it's gonna be a huge hit. I'll be surprised if it makes over $30 million in the States.
Paddington 2
Paddington Bear works at a series of odd jobs to make enough money to buy the perfect present for Aunt Lucy's 100th birthday. Premieres November 10 (maybe?).
I didn't see the original film, but it did quite well, grossing $268 million worldwide against its $55 million budget. The bulk of those ticket sales came from overseas, and I think that'll be the case again. I'm gonna say it'll make around $250 - $275 million.
Mayhem
A virus that lowers inhibitions (so it makes you drunk?) sweeps through a high rise office, causing the workers to become violent. Steven Yeun (of The Walking Dead) stars as the only employee not affected. Premieres November 10.
I liked this movie the first time I saw it, when it was called The Belko Experiment. This is Steven Yeun's first post-Walking Dead gig, and will be a good indicator as to whether or not he has a career in theatrical films. If it's a flop, he'll need to either crawl back to TV or go into marketing.
The film's directed by Joe Lynch, whose only previous credit of note was Knights Of Badassdom. Oy. I don't see Mayhem being a huge hit, as it'll likely have a limited release. I'm betting it might make $30 million.
Justice League
After the "death" ofSpace Jesus, er, I mean Superman, Murder Man, er, I mean Batman and Wonder Woman recruit Kal Drogo, er, I mean Aquaman, Pointless Flash and Cyborg to defeat the evil Steppenwolf, minion of Darkseid. Premieres November 17.
Sigh... DC's latest in their increasingly desperate attempt to copy Marvel's success. So far the only DCEU movie worth watching was the one NOT directed by Zack Snyder (Wonder Woman). Hey, guess who directed this one?
Early test screenings called the film "unwatchable," so DC shoved Snyder aside and rushed in beloved nerd icon Joss Whedon (who directed Marvel's first two Avengers movies) to try and salvage what he could. Supposedly the film underwent MASSIVE reshoots, altering the personalities of various characters and changing the entire plot. Not a good sign.
Despite the fact that most DCEU movies are piles of hot garbage, they inexplicably gross hundreds of millions of dollars. Batman V Superman made $870 million worldwide (!), while the execrable Suicide Squad brought in an astonishing $745 million. What the hell is wrong with the general public?
Anyway, I would expect the Justice League movie to do no less, as audiences will flock to it to see a bunch of people in funny suits running around onscreen. I'm betting it'll gross around $800 million worldwide.
Coco
An animated tale of a young boy travels to the land of the dead to find out why his family hates music (?). Premieres November 22.
What the hell, Pixar? Didn't we just see this? Jesus, how many "Day Of The Dead" animated movies do we need? This one looks like they took The Book Of Life, mashed it up with Kubo And The Two Strings and called it a day.
Thank the gods old and new it appears they cast actual latino actors in the film, so we won't have to hear six months of complaining about whitewashing in a goddamned cartoon.
This is a Pixar film, so no matter if it's good or bad it'll automatically make over $100 million. Their most recent effort Cars 3 grossed "just" $325 million, a far cry from their previous film Up, which brought in a whopping $774 million. Has "Pixar Fatigue" finally set in? I'm betting Coco won't be a huge hit, and will gross around $300 - $350 million.
Daddy's Home 2
In this sequel to the 2015 comedy, Brad and Dusty deal with the arrival of their obnoxious fathers during the holidays. Premieres November 10.
I didn't see the original film, but it was a box office hit, grossing $242 million worldwide against its $69 million budget. It's directed by Sean Anders, who helmed the first film, as well as several other awful comedies, including Sex Drive, That's My Boy and Horrible Bosses 2.
Since there's not a lot of competition in November, I'd expect this film to do at least as well, if not better than, its predecessor. I'm betting it'll make around $250 - $275 worldwide.
Murder on the Orient Express
Detective Hercule Poirot investigates a murder on a train traveling through Europe. Based on the Agatha Christie mystery novel. Premieres November 10.
Jesus, how many times is Hollywood gonna film this story? There's at least one previous theatrical version, and more TV adaptations than I can count. I'll save you all twelve bucks and two hours of your life: EVERYONE DID IT!
It's directed by Kenneth Branagh, who's primarily an actor, but has helmed quite an eclectic list of films. He previously directed Henry V, Dead Again, Much Ado About Nothing, Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, Hamlet, Sleuth, Thor (!), Macbeth, Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit (!!!) and Cinderella.
Although Branagh's films are generally well regarded, they rarely make a lot of money (with a couple of exceptions). I expect the same here. I'm betting it'll make around $30 - $35 million in the States.
Death Wish
A doctor (played by Bruce Willis) becomes a violent vigilante after his wife is murdered and his daughter brutally attacked by thugs. Premieres November 22.
Wow, another remake. How unusual. This one of course is a reboot of the 1974 original, which starred (and likely launched the career of) Charles Bronson. It's directed by Eli Roth, the gore-meister who gave us such classics as Cabin Fever, Hostel, Hostel Part II and The Green Inferno.
December
The box office finally shapes up a bit in December, but I expect Star Wars will siphon cash from most of the other films released this month.
Polaroid
A horror film about a camera that kills anyone whose picture it takes. Premieres December 1 (maybe).
This was originally supposed to come out in August, but was pushed back to December. That's always a huge month for horror films, right? As we all know by now, any time a movie's release date is pushed back for any reason, it's ALWAYS a bad, bad sign.
I'm pretty sure The Twilight Zone did this exact same plot fifty years ago. It's directed by Lars Kievberg, and appears to be his first theatrical film. Uh-oh... I predict it'll make $25 million in the States. If that.
The Shape Of Water
Set during the Cold War, it's a tale of the relationship between a mute woman and a captured fish-man. Seriously. Premieres December 8.
It's directed by Guillermo de Toro (that means "the bull!"), who gave us such films as Chronos, Mimic, The Devil's Backbone, Blade II, Hellboy, Pan's Labyrinth, Hellboy II: The Golden Army and Pacific Rim. Del Toro's films are always visual treats, and often have a very fairy tale-like quality. This one is no exception.
On the other hand, how the hell is del Toro getting away with making this film? This is basically an origin story for Abe Sapien, the fishy hero from the Hellboy movies. Abe was created by writer/artist Mike Mignola, and it looks for all the world like del Toro just stole the character from him wholesale.
It comes out a week before Star Wars, so it might have time to make a bit of cash before it's pushed to the side. I'm betting it'll make around $50 million in the States, and maybe $150 million worldwide.
Ferdinand
An animated tale of a bull (voiced by John Cena) who refuses to fight in the ring. Based on the beloved children's book. Premieres December 15.
It's from the studio that brought us the Ice Age movies, which have all been huge financial successes. It's coming out the same week as Star Wars though, so that's definitely gonna take a bite out of its box office gross. I think it'll make around $450 - $500 million worldwide.
Star Wars: Episode VIII
In this followup to 2015's The Force Awakens, Rey continues her Jedi training with Luke Skywalker, while the rest of the cast runs around and shoots at things. Premieres December 15.
The previous film was pretty much a straight up remake of A New Hope, so I expect this one will ape the structure and tone of The Empire Strikes Back. It's directed by Rian Johnson, who, in addition to spelling his name in the most annoying way possible, helmed Brick, The Brothers Bloom and Looper, which were all pretty good. Hopefully he'll do a better job with the plot than JJ Abrams did.
The Force Awakens grossed an astonishing $2 BILLION worldwide, while last year's Rogue One brought in $1 billion. I expect The Last Jedi to easily outdo Rogue One, but I don't think it'll blow The Force Awakens out of the water. I think it'll make between $1.5 and $2 billion.
I like director Rian Johnson, and with J.J. Abrams less involved in this production, it can only go up. However, The Force Awakens is another one of those movies that gets worse the movie you watch it and Rogue One was DOA fan service. See Red Letter Media's various rogue one related videos for more information.
Box Office: 1 Billion Plus. Who cares if it's bad it's Star Wars.
Well, I care, for one. Of the eight Star Wars movies that have been released over the years, there are only two I'd call GOOD. That's a 25% score for the series, which is FAR below an F grade!
Jumanji
A sequel/remake/reboot of the 1995 film, about a kid's game that comes alive when played. In a "shocking" new twist, the titular game has been updated. This time it's a video game! Premieres December 22.
The movie's directed by Jake Kasdan, son of Lawrence Kasdan, who wrote, among other things, The Empire Strikes Back. So that's a good sign! Jake Kasdan previously directed Orange County, The TV Set, Bad Teacher and Sex Tape, along with a lot of TV episodes. Can he handle a big budget special effects extravaganza? Who knows? I'm betting it'll make around $100 million here in the States, as Star Wars will still be in theaters and steal a lot of its thunder.
Pitch Perfect 3
After winning the world championship (?), the Bellas reunite for one last singing competition. Premieres December 22.
I've not seen either of the first two installments, but they were both quite successful. Pitch Perfect grossed $115 million against its minuscule $17 budget, while Pitch Perfect 2 made $287 million on a $29 million budget. On the down side, the new film's directed by Trish Sie, whose sole previous theatrical film was the beloved cinematic classic Step Up All In. That could be a bad sign. I expect this one to do slightly better than it's predecessor, mainly because ticket prices are higher now. I'm betting it'll make around $300 million worldwide.
The Greatest Showman
A musical celebrating the life of P.T. Barnum, played by Huge Ackman. Premieres December 25.
Wow, a musical film AND it comes out on Xmas day? Sign me up! I've not seen one trailer or even so much as a poster for this thing. It's directed by Tom Hooper, who helmed Jackman's previous musical Les Miserables. Amazingly that film grossed a whopping $441 million worldwide, against its slim $61 million budget! This one doesn't seem to be based on a broadway play though, so I think it'll gross less, making around $250 - $300 million worldwide.
Tune in a few months from now to see how we did!
Madea and her friends visit a haunted campground and run for their lives when monsters are unleashed. Premieres October 20.
I guess that should properly be Tyler Perry's Boo! 2: A Madea Halloween. I've seen exactly one Madea movie in my life, as I caught it on Amazon Prime last year. All I'm gonna say about it is that it was a hard watch, and these movies are obviously not made for me. Someone must like 'em though, as Perry keeps pumping them out year after year after year.
The Madea movies consistently gross about the same amount each time, like there's a very loyal core audience that dutifully trots out to see each one. The previous Boo! A Madea Halloween grossed an impressive $74 million against its slim $20 million budget. I would expect this one to do the same, or a little worse. I'm betting it'll make $65 million.
Mutilated bodies begin turning up around the city, and the investigation points to John Kramer, aka the Jigsaw Killer, who's been dead for over a decade. Premieres October 27.
The first Saw film was massively profitable back in 2004, grossing an astonishing $103 million worldwide against its microscopic $1.2 million budget! That fact right there explains why there were a whopping SIX sequels! All of them except Saw VI have reliably grossed over $100 million worldwide, and I would expect this one to do the same. I'm betting it'll gross around $50 - $60 million here in the States, and $100 million overseas.
November
November's not looking a whole lot better than the other months. Other than the two superhero movies duking it out, there's still not much of interest playing. Isn't November supposed to be the kickoff of the big holiday movie season?
In his third solo film, Thor teams up with the Hulk to prevent the evil goddess Helga from destroying Asgard. Premieres November 3.
One of the few films I'm actually looking forward to in 2017. It looks like a hell of a lot of fun, and will be the perfect antidote to DC's dour and dismal Justice League. It's helmed by Taika Watiti, who co-wrote, co-directed and co-starred in What We Do In The Shadows, which I liked quite a bit.
Thor The Dark World grossed $640 million worldwide, so I expect this one to do at least that well. I'm gonna say $700 million worldwide.
I liked Thor: The Dark World when I first saw it, but now it's one of those movies where every time you watch it, it gets worse. I'd like to see Thor have at least one good movie before they kill off the character in Infinity war, and this is the last chance for that to happen. Fingers crossed.
Box office prediction: $650-$725 million.
A Bad Moms Christmas
The gals from Bad Moms struggle to cope when their respective mothers come to visit for the holidays. Premieres November 3.
First of all, I understand why the title doesn't have an apostrophe in "Moms," but it's honestly driving me nuts. Plus it's just going to confuse our populace, which already has no clue when it comes to proper punctuation.
Anyway, I didn't see the first film, but it grossed an impressive $183 million worldwide against its tiny $20 million budget. Obviously that made a sequel inevitable. It's directed by Jon Lucas and Scott Moore, who, for good or ill, brought us the Hangover movies. I think this one'll do about the same as the first. I'm gonna say $180 million worldwide.
Blade Of The Immortal
An immortal warrior teams up with a young girl to seek revenge on the people who killed her family. Based on the popular manga. Premieres November 3.
The trailer looks fun, and it's the 100th film from director Takashi Miike, who brought us Ichi The Killer, One Missed Call, Zebraman and 13 Assassins, among many others.
I guarantee this will have a limited release, playing in just a handful of cities. Couple that with its lengthy two hour and twenty minute runtime, and there's no way it's gonna be a huge hit. I'll be surprised if it makes over $30 million in the States.
Paddington 2
Paddington Bear works at a series of odd jobs to make enough money to buy the perfect present for Aunt Lucy's 100th birthday. Premieres November 10 (maybe?).
I didn't see the original film, but it did quite well, grossing $268 million worldwide against its $55 million budget. The bulk of those ticket sales came from overseas, and I think that'll be the case again. I'm gonna say it'll make around $250 - $275 million.
Mayhem
A virus that lowers inhibitions (so it makes you drunk?) sweeps through a high rise office, causing the workers to become violent. Steven Yeun (of The Walking Dead) stars as the only employee not affected. Premieres November 10.
I liked this movie the first time I saw it, when it was called The Belko Experiment. This is Steven Yeun's first post-Walking Dead gig, and will be a good indicator as to whether or not he has a career in theatrical films. If it's a flop, he'll need to either crawl back to TV or go into marketing.
The film's directed by Joe Lynch, whose only previous credit of note was Knights Of Badassdom. Oy. I don't see Mayhem being a huge hit, as it'll likely have a limited release. I'm betting it might make $30 million.
After the "death" of
Sigh... DC's latest in their increasingly desperate attempt to copy Marvel's success. So far the only DCEU movie worth watching was the one NOT directed by Zack Snyder (Wonder Woman). Hey, guess who directed this one?
Early test screenings called the film "unwatchable," so DC shoved Snyder aside and rushed in beloved nerd icon Joss Whedon (who directed Marvel's first two Avengers movies) to try and salvage what he could. Supposedly the film underwent MASSIVE reshoots, altering the personalities of various characters and changing the entire plot. Not a good sign.
Despite the fact that most DCEU movies are piles of hot garbage, they inexplicably gross hundreds of millions of dollars. Batman V Superman made $870 million worldwide (!), while the execrable Suicide Squad brought in an astonishing $745 million. What the hell is wrong with the general public?
Anyway, I would expect the Justice League movie to do no less, as audiences will flock to it to see a bunch of people in funny suits running around onscreen. I'm betting it'll gross around $800 million worldwide.
An animated tale of a young boy travels to the land of the dead to find out why his family hates music (?). Premieres November 22.
What the hell, Pixar? Didn't we just see this? Jesus, how many "Day Of The Dead" animated movies do we need? This one looks like they took The Book Of Life, mashed it up with Kubo And The Two Strings and called it a day.
Thank the gods old and new it appears they cast actual latino actors in the film, so we won't have to hear six months of complaining about whitewashing in a goddamned cartoon.
This is a Pixar film, so no matter if it's good or bad it'll automatically make over $100 million. Their most recent effort Cars 3 grossed "just" $325 million, a far cry from their previous film Up, which brought in a whopping $774 million. Has "Pixar Fatigue" finally set in? I'm betting Coco won't be a huge hit, and will gross around $300 - $350 million.
Daddy's Home 2
In this sequel to the 2015 comedy, Brad and Dusty deal with the arrival of their obnoxious fathers during the holidays. Premieres November 10.
I didn't see the original film, but it was a box office hit, grossing $242 million worldwide against its $69 million budget. It's directed by Sean Anders, who helmed the first film, as well as several other awful comedies, including Sex Drive, That's My Boy and Horrible Bosses 2.
Since there's not a lot of competition in November, I'd expect this film to do at least as well, if not better than, its predecessor. I'm betting it'll make around $250 - $275 worldwide.
Murder on the Orient Express
Detective Hercule Poirot investigates a murder on a train traveling through Europe. Based on the Agatha Christie mystery novel. Premieres November 10.
Jesus, how many times is Hollywood gonna film this story? There's at least one previous theatrical version, and more TV adaptations than I can count. I'll save you all twelve bucks and two hours of your life: EVERYONE DID IT!
It's directed by Kenneth Branagh, who's primarily an actor, but has helmed quite an eclectic list of films. He previously directed Henry V, Dead Again, Much Ado About Nothing, Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, Hamlet, Sleuth, Thor (!), Macbeth, Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit (!!!) and Cinderella.
Although Branagh's films are generally well regarded, they rarely make a lot of money (with a couple of exceptions). I expect the same here. I'm betting it'll make around $30 - $35 million in the States.
Death Wish
A doctor (played by Bruce Willis) becomes a violent vigilante after his wife is murdered and his daughter brutally attacked by thugs. Premieres November 22.
Wow, another remake. How unusual. This one of course is a reboot of the 1974 original, which starred (and likely launched the career of) Charles Bronson. It's directed by Eli Roth, the gore-meister who gave us such classics as Cabin Fever, Hostel, Hostel Part II and The Green Inferno.
December
The box office finally shapes up a bit in December, but I expect Star Wars will siphon cash from most of the other films released this month.
A horror film about a camera that kills anyone whose picture it takes. Premieres December 1 (maybe).
This was originally supposed to come out in August, but was pushed back to December. That's always a huge month for horror films, right? As we all know by now, any time a movie's release date is pushed back for any reason, it's ALWAYS a bad, bad sign.
I'm pretty sure The Twilight Zone did this exact same plot fifty years ago. It's directed by Lars Kievberg, and appears to be his first theatrical film. Uh-oh... I predict it'll make $25 million in the States. If that.
The Shape Of Water
Set during the Cold War, it's a tale of the relationship between a mute woman and a captured fish-man. Seriously. Premieres December 8.
It's directed by Guillermo de Toro (that means "the bull!"), who gave us such films as Chronos, Mimic, The Devil's Backbone, Blade II, Hellboy, Pan's Labyrinth, Hellboy II: The Golden Army and Pacific Rim. Del Toro's films are always visual treats, and often have a very fairy tale-like quality. This one is no exception.
On the other hand, how the hell is del Toro getting away with making this film? This is basically an origin story for Abe Sapien, the fishy hero from the Hellboy movies. Abe was created by writer/artist Mike Mignola, and it looks for all the world like del Toro just stole the character from him wholesale.
It comes out a week before Star Wars, so it might have time to make a bit of cash before it's pushed to the side. I'm betting it'll make around $50 million in the States, and maybe $150 million worldwide.
An animated tale of a bull (voiced by John Cena) who refuses to fight in the ring. Based on the beloved children's book. Premieres December 15.
It's from the studio that brought us the Ice Age movies, which have all been huge financial successes. It's coming out the same week as Star Wars though, so that's definitely gonna take a bite out of its box office gross. I think it'll make around $450 - $500 million worldwide.
In this followup to 2015's The Force Awakens, Rey continues her Jedi training with Luke Skywalker, while the rest of the cast runs around and shoots at things. Premieres December 15.
The previous film was pretty much a straight up remake of A New Hope, so I expect this one will ape the structure and tone of The Empire Strikes Back. It's directed by Rian Johnson, who, in addition to spelling his name in the most annoying way possible, helmed Brick, The Brothers Bloom and Looper, which were all pretty good. Hopefully he'll do a better job with the plot than JJ Abrams did.
The Force Awakens grossed an astonishing $2 BILLION worldwide, while last year's Rogue One brought in $1 billion. I expect The Last Jedi to easily outdo Rogue One, but I don't think it'll blow The Force Awakens out of the water. I think it'll make between $1.5 and $2 billion.
I like director Rian Johnson, and with J.J. Abrams less involved in this production, it can only go up. However, The Force Awakens is another one of those movies that gets worse the movie you watch it and Rogue One was DOA fan service. See Red Letter Media's various rogue one related videos for more information.
Box Office: 1 Billion Plus. Who cares if it's bad it's Star Wars.
Well, I care, for one. Of the eight Star Wars movies that have been released over the years, there are only two I'd call GOOD. That's a 25% score for the series, which is FAR below an F grade!
A sequel/remake/reboot of the 1995 film, about a kid's game that comes alive when played. In a "shocking" new twist, the titular game has been updated. This time it's a video game! Premieres December 22.
The movie's directed by Jake Kasdan, son of Lawrence Kasdan, who wrote, among other things, The Empire Strikes Back. So that's a good sign! Jake Kasdan previously directed Orange County, The TV Set, Bad Teacher and Sex Tape, along with a lot of TV episodes. Can he handle a big budget special effects extravaganza? Who knows? I'm betting it'll make around $100 million here in the States, as Star Wars will still be in theaters and steal a lot of its thunder.
Pitch Perfect 3
After winning the world championship (?), the Bellas reunite for one last singing competition. Premieres December 22.
I've not seen either of the first two installments, but they were both quite successful. Pitch Perfect grossed $115 million against its minuscule $17 budget, while Pitch Perfect 2 made $287 million on a $29 million budget. On the down side, the new film's directed by Trish Sie, whose sole previous theatrical film was the beloved cinematic classic Step Up All In. That could be a bad sign. I expect this one to do slightly better than it's predecessor, mainly because ticket prices are higher now. I'm betting it'll make around $300 million worldwide.
The Greatest Showman
A musical celebrating the life of P.T. Barnum, played by Huge Ackman. Premieres December 25.
Wow, a musical film AND it comes out on Xmas day? Sign me up! I've not seen one trailer or even so much as a poster for this thing. It's directed by Tom Hooper, who helmed Jackman's previous musical Les Miserables. Amazingly that film grossed a whopping $441 million worldwide, against its slim $61 million budget! This one doesn't seem to be based on a broadway play though, so I think it'll gross less, making around $250 - $300 million worldwide.
Tune in a few months from now to see how we did!
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