Thanks, But No Thanks!

DATELINE: RIYADH, SAUDI ARABIA— 

This week the country of Saudi Arabia announced it's finally allowing movie theaters to open again, after a thirty five year ban.

Theaters were shut down over three decades ago by Saudi Arabia's by the country's ultraconservative government, who viewed Western films, and even those made in Egypt and Lebanon, as sinful.

The move is just one of many progressive measures recently enacted by Crown Prince Mohammed, the thirty two year old son of Saudi Arabian King Salman. Prince Mohammed is drafting the reforms as a way to bring the country into the 21st Century.

Saudi citizens expressed their joy at the news by posting images of popcorn buckets on social media. Others danced, cried and even fainted at the announcement.

The day after the ban was lifted, the Saudi Ministry of Culture And Information released a list of the American movies that would be allowed into the country for the first time. On the list were recent hits such as The Bye Bye Man, Underworld: Blood Wars, Rings, Resident Evil: The Final Chapter, Power Rangers, Phoenix Forgotten, King Arthur: Legend Of The Sword, 47 Meters Down, The Mummy, The Dark Tower, Flatliners, The Snowman and Geostorm.

Shortly after seeing the list, the public took to the streets as violent protests broke out, prompting the government to call on the KSA (the Royal Saudi Land Forces) to restore order. Hours later Prince Mohammed announced he was putting the ban back into place, once again outlawing Western movies in the country.

Sorry, Hollywood!