Much Ado About Somethings

This week Elizabeth Olsen, who stars as Scarlet Witch in Marvel Studios' mega-hit  Avengers: Infinity War, stated that she wants a redesigned, more conservative costume for her character.

In an interview with Elle magazine, she doesn't mind wearing a corset as part of her costume, but she'd prefer it to be "less revealing." 

Olsen went on to say that she realizes the Marvel movies are more about creating "iconic images," rather than "representing the average woman." Whatever the hell that means.

Said Olsen, "Everyone has these things that cover them—Tessa Thompson (who played Valkyrie in Thor: Ragnarok) does, Scarlett (Johansson, aka Black Widow) does. I would like to cover up a bit. It's funny because sometimes I look around and I'm just like—wow, I'm the only one who has cleavage, and that's a constant joke because they haven't really evolved my superhero costume that much."

OK, I don't want to just dismiss Ms. Olsen's concerns outright, so let's take a look at the outfit in question. This is the official costume Scarlet Witch wore in Captain America: Civil War.

She wears it again during part of Infinity War. 

So... this is what she's complaining about? All things considered, this looks like a pretty demure costume. Heck, it's practically Victorian, compared to Wonder Woman's outfit over at DC. Yes, she's wearing a corset, and yes, she's flashing some cleavage. But it's pretty minor, and the neckline would be perfectly acceptable in any office across the country. 

On top of all that, she's wearing a trench coat and full length pants! I've seen women show more skin than this in church!

I really don't think Olsen has anything to gripe about, as things could be far, far worse. Here's the Scarlet Witch's original comic book costume, as designed by Marvel Legend Jack Kirby. Her body's completely covered from head to toe, but she's still basically wearing a one piece bathing suit here  that leaves little to the imagination. Would Olsen feel better about wearing this costume?

It gets worse. Here's her redesigned gypsy-esque costume seen in George Perez's late 1990s run on The Avengers. Perhaps Olsen would prefer this look?

How about this costume, with an even more extreme corset, complete with two boob-cupping, er, cups? How the hell do those things even stay in place? Does she glue 'em on? Or use her probability-altering powers to keep 'em attached?

Lastly there's this fetching little number, which includes a relatively chaste sports bra-like top, but inexplicably features a prominent red boomerang that points right at her hoo-hah. Perhaps Olsen would rather parade around the set in something like this?

I'm starting to think Olsen's a massive hypocrite, and her complaints are all part of a scheme to generate some attention for herself. Don't believe me? Welp, here's the prim little frock she wore to the recent Infinity War premiere. 

In addition to looking like it's made from a Naugahyde couch, it features a plunging neckline far more daring than the one she sports as Scarlet Witch. Note that this wasn't some studio-mandated costume she was contractually forced to wear— she chose to don this outfit of her own free will.

And then there's this lovely garment, which she wore to a different premiere. Amazingly, this one reveals even more cleavage. Note that it fastens at the neck, but deliberately spreads out to expose the her breasts.

Surely she's never wear something like this to draw attention to herself!

And let's not forget this lovely gown. Jesus Christ, this one makes her Scarlet Witch costume look downright chaste!

I'm definitely starting to think Olsen wanted some publicity, and is blowing the whole Scarlet Witch situation totally out of proportion. Don't believe me? Then take a look at the 2013 American remake of Oldboy. 

The film features Elizabeth Olsen and her Infinity War costar Josh Brolin, (aka Thanos), who share an extremely graphic sex scene.

Seriously, the scene's pretty much a porno. In fact it's actually featured on pornhub.com! These two images were actually the least provocative ones I could find! Don't worry, I'm sure the scene was integral to the story.

Oddly enough, Olsen had no trouble stripping her clothes off and lying spread-eagle on a bed while Josh Brolin writhed around on top of her. But goodness me, her Scarlet Witch costume is just much too embarrassing and revealing!

Yeah, we can all stop paying attention to Elizabeth Olsen now and move on.

(thanks to my pal K.W. Monster for pointing out Olsen's premiere outfits and her Oldboy scene)