What A Bunch Of A-Holes

DATELINE: WASHINGTON, DC— 

This week Mike Pence, soon-to-be EX Vice President and star of a slasher movie about a killer pilgrim, held a press conference in which he discussed the country's newly-formed Space Force.

According to Pence, the gallant men and women serving in this exciting new branch of the military will be known as... Guardians.

Guardians, eh? Wha a bunch of A-Holes. Maybe instead of a general, the leader of these Guardians could be known as a Star-Lord.

Once again, the best comedy writers in the world couldn't come up with material better than what's happening in real life. 

I propose the U.S. Government immediately appoint a special Pop Culture Czar, whose job it would be to review titles and the names of various military operations thought up by clueless, out of touch bureaucrats, in order to save them tons of internet ridicule. I suggest they nominate me for this role.

By the way, check out this nifty Space Force Guardians poster the government put out. Despite the fact that it looks like something I mocked up myself, and that it reads, "By Space Professionals, For Space Professionals," it is 100% real.