What Did They Expect?

Here's a blast from the past— it's a photo of me sitting on Santa's lap. From the looks of me there I'd say I was probably one and a half, two at the most. Based on the way I'm giving him the stink-eye, it appears I'm not too sure about the Jolly Old Elf.

And who could blame me?

Nine times out of ten, whenever a kid is plopped onto Santa's lap they start shrieking in terror. Somehow this always puzzles and amazes the child's parents. Why should it? The toddler's reaction isn't too hard to figure out.

As a kid you're told numerous legends, myths and takes about Santa Claus, each highlighting a different aspect of his formidable supernatural powers. He's in charge of an army of elves who create the toys he distributes. He commands a team of FLYING reindeer. He's able to zoom around the world in a single night. 

Most importantly, he's all-knowing, as he can see you and tell what you're doing at all times!

In effect, Santa Claus is a god. A lesser god to be sure, but a god nonetheless. And then your parents sit you on the lap of this powerful, imposing and magical being. Who the hell WOULDN'T cry in that situation? Who the hell wants to be that close to a god?