Aunt Pearl

Last year the (TRIGGER WARNING AHEAD!) Quaker (TRIGGER WARNING ENDED!) Oats Company announced that in the interest of cultural sensitivity, they were retiring their highly offensive (TRIGGER WARNING!) Aunt Jemima (TRIGGER WARNING ENDED!) mascot and changing the name of their pancake mix and syrup.

At the time, they hadn't yet settled on a new name for these products.

That all changed this week. At long last, (TRIGGER WARNING AHEAD!) Quaker (TRIGGER WARNING ENDED!) finally revealed the new name. From this point forth, the brand will be known as...

The Pearl Milling Company.

Whew! That's a relief. I was afraid they were gonna pick a stupid name!