R.I.P. From The Desk Of Donald J. Trump

Sad news this week for Election Fraud Believers, Covid Deniers and Those Who Seek To Overthrow The Government— your lord and savior donald j. trump has shut down his newly-launched blog for good. Gasp! Say it ain't so!

If you'll recall, shortly after the January 6th Insurrection Attempt, Twitter mercifully decided to ban trump from their site (if only they'd done so five years earlier). Facebook followed suit shortly afterward.

Robbed of the primary outlet for his insanity, trump announced he was going to start up his own internet platform. A platform free of the restrictions imposed on him by the liberal media and their Fake News. A platform where he could report the Truth to his faithful zealots. A tremendous, incredible and yuge platform that would outshine Google, Facebook and Twitter combined.

Yeah, as it turns out he just started a blog.

The official From The Desk Of Donald J. Trump blog launched on May 4, 2021. I glanced at a few of the entries, most of which were incoherent ramblings about the "rigged" election, the unprecedented persecution he's endured and how he'd be reinstated as president any day now.

Honestly the whole thing reminded me of www.creedthoughts.gov/www/creedthoughts— but far less intelligible.

Sadly for the Qanon crowd, poor don's blog didn't get anywhere near as much traffic as was expected. According to NBC News, the blog racked up around 212,000 hits in its first twenty nine days of operation. 

WOW! That's a far, FAR cry from the millions of hits each of his deranged Tweets used to get!

For comparison, in the same month my own little blog here managed to get 49,240 hits. Which means his could only manage to scrape up about four times what mine did— and he was the f*cking president! How embarrassing!

As a result of this, From The Desk Of Donald J. Trump was quietly and unceremoniously shut down on June 2, 2021— just twenty nine days after it was started.

Jaysis, Quibi was a colossal flop and it still stuck around longer than trump's blog, lasting a total of 239 days!

According to trump's handlers, the blog's untimely demise is no big deal, as it was "just auxiliary to the broader efforts we have and are working on." Which, when run through the MarketSpeak Translator®, means, "trump thought his new outlet would be a hit from Day One, and became angry and embarrassed when that wasn't the case and he found out people were mocking it."