Tales From The Grocery: The Two Dollar Bill

A year ago I got a second job as a cashier at a grocery store in order to pay off some bills. It was a miserable, humiliating and demoralizing experience in every measurable sense, and I got the hell out of there as soon as my bills were paid. I feel genuinely sorry for anyone who has to work in such a place.

Here is another terrifying Tale From The Grocery. All Tales are 100% true.

I was busily ringing up a customer when I noticed the 18 year old cashier next to me desperately trying to get my attention. When I looked over at her she was all distraught, upset that the customer in her line had handed her a fresh, crisp $2 bill.

"Yeah," I said. "What about it?

She whispered to me that it was obviously a fake bill because it said $2. She thought it was some kind of scam and that the customer had printed it at home (!).

I suddenly realized that this high school student, whom the store was trusting to run a cash register, had never in her young life encountered a $2 bill.

Also, she apparently believed that by whispering, the customer who was standing two feet away couldn't hear this exchange.

I did everything in my power to assure her that $2 bills, while rare, are indeed real and have been around for many years. She wouldn't believe me and said she'd be fired if she took "fake money."

She was becoming more agitated by the minute, so I finally popped open my cash drawer, grabbed two $1 bills from my register and exchanged them for her $2 bill, which finally calmed her down. Cheezus. 

God forbid anyone ever gave her a $50! She'd probably taser them on the spot. 

It's the American Educational System at work, ladies and gentlemen!