Tuesday, August 25, 2020

Justice League: The Snyder Cut, Or Be Careful What You Wish For

It's finally here! The trailer no one wanted for the film that no one asked for— Justice League: The Snyder Cut! 

Actually that's not true. Ever since 
the execrable Justice League movie premiered in 2017, fans have been asking— nay, DEMANDING— that Warner Bros. release Zack Snyder's original version of the film.

Snyder directed the bulk of the film, but stepped down after the untimely death of his daughter. Joss Whedon was then brought in to shoot "just a few scenes" to finish the movie.

That's the version Warner Bros. desperately wants us to believe. Those who actually worked on the film tell a different tale. One in which the studio was so displeased with Synder's work that they fired him and hired Whedon to try and salvage the picture. 
According to crew members, Whedon reshot a whopping NINETY PERCENT of the film. 

Reaction to the movie was mixed to say the least. The film grossed $650 million worldwide against its massive $300 million budget. That sounds great until you realize that due to marketing and other hidden costs, movies need to gross twice their production budget before they show a profit. Justice League ended up costing Warner Bros. around $60 million.

Immediately after it premiered, the chants of "Release The Snyder Cut" began. After three years, Warner Bros. apparently got tired of the constant whinging and gave in. They rehired Snyder and handed him a whopping $30 MILLION to finish his vision of the film.

I honestly don't understand this at all. Snyder's version was reportedly so terrible they hired another director to fix it! And even then the finished product was virtually unwatchable. So imagine what the original version must be like! Why would anyone want to see a movie that's worse than an already bad one?

Anyway, with all that out of the way, the trailer for Justice League: The Snyder Cut or Zack Snyder's Justice League or whatever the hell it's called debuted this week. And what a trailer it is, too!

First of all, Snyder apparently has some sort of weird boner for late singer/songwriter Leonard Cohen. He used his song Hallelujah a few years ago in Watchmen, and it serves as the soundtrack for this trailer as well. Jesus, find a new song already, Synder.

My favorite part of the trailer comes is the first few seconds, when we get a good glimpse at the movie's villain Darkseid.

Darkseid was created by talented artist & writer Jack Kirby back in 1971, and has become DC's version of Thanos over at Marvel.

Wow. Just look at this stunningly lifelike character, who's realized through the finest CGI that 1997 had to offer!

Jesus Christ! That... that can't possibly be a finished shot from this redo, can it? You're supposed to put finished shots in the trailer, DC! Not anamatics or works-in-progress. Wow. These look like PS1-era graphics!

Think back to Infinity War & Endgame, and how absolutely real Thanos looked in every scene. Now check out Darkseid again. He looks slightly less realistic than characters from Reboot!

Are ALL the FX in The Snyder Cut gonna look like this? Because if this is what $30 million dollars buys these days, the movie's gonna get laughed off whatever screen it appears on.

After seeing the trailer, I have a feeling this is going to be a case of "Be Careful What You Wish For."

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