Good Riddance To Bad Rubbish, 2021 Edition

It's that time again, when we all say a welcome "Good Riddance" to the current corn-studded turd of a year.

Jaysis, 2020 was one of the worst years in recent memory, and I didn't think any subsequent one could ever beat it. But then 2021 heard me, said "Hold my beer" and gave it a damned good shot.

Here's just a sampling of the treats 2021 had in store for us:

• The January 6th insurrection, in which a group of trump's zealots attempted to overthrow our government and install him as dictator for life.

• trump was impeached and acquitted for a SECOND time, posing the question, "What the hell does this asshole have to do to be punished?"

• TWO more Covid variants appeared, causing even more sickness and death.

• A vast number of citizens refused to get any of the three scientifically proven vaccines, in favor of ingesting horse deworming medicine (among other dubious "cures") instead

• The pandemic continued to rage out of control as more Americans died of Covid this year than last and the death toll climbed to nearly 800,000.

• America's botched withdrawal from Afghanistan, which resulted in thousands of deaths and the Taliban seizing control again.

• Rampant forest fires in California and other states.

• Bill Cosby's assault conviction was overturned, and the comedian/serial rapist was released from prison.

• MoviePass threatened to come back, in the middle of a pandemic that's severely affected theater attendance. 

• Nearly 700 (!!!!) mass shootings!

• Out of control inflation.

• Adobe Flash shut down for good.

• Three, count 'em, 3 billionaires build their own rockets and blast off in a bizarre space race (while their respective employees struggle to make ends meet).

• Massive tornadoes destroy numerous cities in Kentucky, just days before Xmas (Happy Holidays from your pal God!).

Whew! And that's all just off the top of my head! I'm sure there were even more atrocities I've thankfully pushed from my mind.

It's an exercise in futility, but I'm gonna say it again— let's hope 2022 is a better year for us all.

Good Riddance To Bad Rubbish!

Ugh, good riddance to this corn-studded turd of a year!

Jesus Christ, has there ever been a year worse than 2020? OK, so 1346— the year the Black Plague started— probably has it beat, but 2020's definitely the worst one in recent memory. Lately it's gotten to the point where I dread waking up every morning, as I'm afraid to see what new horrors this year has brung.

To unnecessarily refresh your memory, 2020 gave us the pandemic of course, the massive death toll from the pandemic, rampant unemployment and unprecedented economic damage due to the pandemic, trump's bungled non-response to the pandemic, the lockdown, movie theaters being shuttered, restaurant closures, sporting event cancelations, theme park shutdowns, having to wear a mask in public, Kobe Bryant's death, wildfires in Australia and California, locust swarms in Africa, trump's impeachment acquittal, panic buying, Kanye West's serious run for president, murder hornets, trump illegally attempting to ban TikTok (among many other things he doesn't have the power to do), police brutality, trump illegally abducting peaceful protesters, anything involving Rudy Giuliani, trump's refusal to accept the fact that he lost the election, trump trying everything he can think of to overturn the election results, numerous celebrity deaths... and that's all just off the top of my head. I'm sure there were many other atrocities I missed.

Don't let the door hit you in the ass, 2020!

A New Hope?

This may amaze and shock you, but we managed to get through the first day of 2017 without a single celebrity death. Told you it was amazing!

I know better than to view this as a sign that the new year will be a better one. The Universe has a perverse way of sensing even the smallest particle of hope and smacking it down hard. If we all cry, "Huzzah, no famous people died today! 2017's off to a great start!" then tomorrow the Universe will just down an entire jumbo jet full of celebs.

So let's just all nod knowingly and be quietly grateful that no one in the public eye was snuffed out yesterday, and that no other horrifying disasters occurred on January 1st (that I know of).

Overheard At Work: New Year's Eve

I work in a typical office, surrounded by many other workers in cubicles. Although I'm grateful to have a job I like, sometimes the vocal din from the surrounding coworkers is a bit overwhelming. Not to mention odd. Thank the gods old and new for headphones and Pandora.

The following is a 100% true actual conversation I Overheard At Work:

Woman: Just to be clear, New Year's Eve is December 31st this year, right?

Yes, as opposed to last year when it inexplicably cropped up on August 9th.

See You In Hell, 2000s!

Holy Frak, has there ever been a decade worse than the 2000s? I suppose the 1940s had World War II, but even that only lasted six years. The 2000s have been consistently awful for the entire ten.

Any decade that gave us 9-11, George W. Bush (twice), Transformers 2, ringtones, the war in Iraq, Kim Jong Il, the Prequels, hanging chads, hurricane Katrina, reality TV, Enron, auto tune, the death of journalism and the rise of gossip as news, Freedom Fries, Guantanamo, Sarah Palin, texting while driving, SARS, $5 a gallon gas, rampant unemployment, the Virginia Tech shootings, Paris Hilton and the economic meltdown is rotten in my book.

Heck, it's 2009 and we still haven't figured out what to even call this ferkakdeh decade. The 2000s? The Aughts? Who knows?

So see you in Hell, 2000s. Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

Let's all hope the 2010s will be better for us and the world. They sure can't be any worse. Happy New Year, everyone.

Note to the nitpickers in the audience: I am aware that the decade didn't actually begin until 2001 and won't be over until the end of 2010. I just want to get it over with as soon as possible.