The Future Is Now!

Way back in 2007, my nephew Aaron had a homework assignment to draw himself as a high school senior in the far off year of 2017.

Knowing I'm a graphic designer and illustrator, he decided to cheat by asking me to help with his assignment. And of course by "help," he meant "do it for me." 

So I agreed and drew "Future Aaron" for him, depicting what I thought he'd look like in the year 2017. I never did find out what grade I, er, I mean HE got on the assignment. Hopefully at least a B+!

Anyway, now that 2017 is actually here and he's graduated from high school, let's dredge up the drawing and see how I did!

Looking at my various "predictions," it's obvious I was going more for comedy here rather than accuracy. Especially with things like "Animated Hair Dye." I don't even know what the hell that means.

Same with the "TV Monitor Built Into Clothes." I knew that wouldn't come to pass by 2017, if ever. 

Amazingly, some of my snarkier predictions actually did come true after all. Well, sort of.

Take the "T-Shirt Displaying Animated Advertisements." We don't have anything quite like my illustration, but in 2014 a company called Digital Dudz came out with a line of t-shirts that utilized a smart phone to display moving images.

Simply download an animation onto your phone, then slip it in a special pocket on the inside of the shirt (behind a strategically placed hole) and watch the hilarity ensue.

So believe it or not, I sort of got this one right!

I was joking about the "Transparent Shoes" as well, but sure enough, a couple years ago Converse came out with clear Chuck Taylor All Stars! Amazing!

As you might expect, these shoes are made of some kind of clear vinyl instead of canvas, like normal Chuck Taylors. The number one complaint about them is the material "doesn't breathe well." Imagine that.

I did pretty well on most of the technology predictions. My "Goggles Displaying TV, Movies, Incoming Cell Phone Calls, Etc" is basically Google Glass, which came out in 2012 (and promptly disappeared shortly after!).

The "Personal Computer (Voice Activated— No Keypad Needed") is pretty much the same as the smart phone that everyone and their dog carries around today. Of course the first iPhone came out the same year I drew this, so it wasn't much of a stretch to predict it. 

Thor knows why I thought we would stick the thing to the back or our hands instead of actually carrying them or putting them in our pockets.

The "Cell Phone Earpiece" is puzzling, as that's pretty much a Bluetooth, which came out around 2000, well before I drew this in 2007. Congratulations to me, for predicting a seven year old technology! Maybe I'd never heard of Bluetooth at the time. I honestly don't remember. 

Note that I thought a "Cell Phone Receiver" would be necessary to go along with the earpiece and pick up your voice— something an actual Bluetooth doesn't require. Ah well. Can't predict everything right!

And the "Strange Fashions His Parents Don't Understand"— that's a safe prediction in ANY year! And we don't have "Government I.D. Barcode" tattoos... yet. Give 'em time!

Overall about half the predictions in my stupid drawing came true. That doesn't sound too bad, until you realize it's a "F" on the school grading chart. No wonder I hated school!

My Annual "Ghosts Of Christmas Past" Repost

Hey, Christmas is almost here! That means it's almost over too! Huzzah!

Please note that I'm not some kind of Scrooge who hates the Yuletide season, I just hate what it's become. I don't need all the frenzy and shopping and the stress of spending money you I have on things people don't need.

But I digress.

Here's a compilation of some of my personal favorite Christmas bloggings from the past few years.

Mrs. Claus was in the kitchen baking cookies, when she heard a commotion coming from outside. She looked out the back door and saw a shirtless and drunken Santa staggering around the grounds, shouting incoherently at no one in particular and swinging his fists ineffectively at the crowd of elves that had gathered to watch. 

"Not again," she thought, as she steeled herself to go out and hurry him back inside yet again. "Thank God those idiots from Inside Edition aren't here to see this." It had taken a fortune to hush them up the last time this happened.

"Is Santa sick?" asked Jingle the Elf as he helped Mrs. Claus wrangle Santa into bed. "No dear," she lied, "He's just overworked. It's nothing to worry about. Now be a good boy and help me lash him down so he doesn't... fall out of bed."

The next morning Santa delicately made his way downstairs and flopped into his chair at the kitchen table. "Oh, I feel terrible," he said. "My head is pounding like crazy." 

"Maybe it was something you drank, dear," said Mrs. Claus, in a tone that could cut glass.

She fixed him a cup of coffee, making as much noise as she possibly could. "Doesn't everyone always say poinsettias are poisonous?" she thought. "This place is lousy with the stuff. It would be too bad if a sprig of it were to fall into his cup. Accidentally, of course."

I made this card way back in 2000, and it perfectly sums up my feelings toward the holiday season... or rather what the holiday season has become.

It was drawn in pencil and inked. Then it was scanned and imported into Photoshop, where I added color. I added the text and border in Photoshop as well.

Many have asked me about the puddle under Santa; whether it's booze or urine. I prefer to let the viewer decide…

Don't have a lot of money to spend on gifts this year? Don't be embarrassed! Just print, cut out and hang this special Economic Meltdown Christmas Gift gift tag on your presents, and your friends and family will be so impressed they won't notice the chintziness of your gifts!

Do you love Christmas Carols? Me neither! Here are a few of my least favorites:

• Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
My all time least favorite carol. If this grim, dirge-like tune doesn't make you feel like sticking a shotgun in your mouth during the holiday season, nothing will.

• Baby It's Cold Outside
A cheerful Yuletide duet that's an ode to date rape!

• Santa Baby
Ah, nothing says "Christmas" like this salute to greed, capitalism and whoring yourself for high-ticket gift items.

• No Spanish Nativity scene is complete without El Caganer, a charming figure of a little man taking a huge dump.

• Kids in Spain (again with the Spain) love the Tio De Nadal, a hollow anthropomorphic log that they beat with sticks until it craps out gifts. No, that wasn't one long typo.

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As you've probably figured out by now, I've retired from creating my annual Christmas Card/Books.

It's not that I didn't enjoy making them, you understand. The were fun to draw, but they're an enormous amount of work. Every year they took longer and longer to create. Literally months. I'd start one in August, work on it every single day and still barely get it done in time for the holiday. They're just way too much work and I don't think I have another one in me.

One of these days I ought to look into selling a collection of these stories.

Since there won't be a card/book this year, enjoy this look back at previous efforts.

Santa Claus Vs. Anti Claus

This is the first card I did, way back in 2008. This one actually is a simple greeting card rather than a book, consisting of a single sheet folded in half.

Obviously the front is based on vintage boxing posters, the kind you'd see in the early 1900s. I had a lot of fun writing the old-time copy. 

Anti-Claus' choice of weaponry still bugs me. Why a crowbar? I still don't know. Maybe I was trying to find a weapon that kind of looked like a candy cane? I should have painted stripes on it to sell that idea better. As you can probably tell I'm never satisfied with my own work.

I guess the aging effects were successful. I sent one to my boss at the time, and when he saw it he accused his wife of bending the corner when she took it out of the envelope!

Gronkoor, The Monster Who Hated Christmas And Stomped On All The Shoppers He Saw

A terrifying tale of man vs. nature in the style of Gozilla and other kaiju films. Or maybe it's just a story about a monster who's not all bad, I don't know.

This was the first card/book that I did, in the style of Little Golden Books. It's the shortest of all of the books, consisting of a scant eight pages. 

Originally it was going to be just a card like the Anti Claus one, and I was going to draw the cover only. Then I thought up an actual story and it grew into an actual book.

I burned off a week of vacation days at the beginning of November 2009 (I always end up with a surplus of time off at the end of the year) and spent the whole time working on this card/book. Those eight pages took a long time, mostly because I didn't know what I was doing. I learned to streamline the process in subsequent years.

Gronkorr Paper Craft Model

I also made a paper model of the Gronkorr character, which you can print and assemble. This was my first attempt at such a thing.

Santataur Is Comin' To Town

An unsettling and unflinching look at body horror and mutation, as Santa Claus transforms himself into a half human, half reindeer chimera.

This is my favorite of all the cards/slash books I've done. The story and art really came together this time, if I do say so myself. 

Looking back, I honestly have no idea how I was able to finish this one in time for Xmas. I didn't even start on it until midway through November! This one was bigger than the previous card/book, clocking in at twelve pages. It was also much more complicated, featuring more characters and detailed backgrounds. 

And to top it all off, I had a second job in 2010 and was working around sixty hours per week. Somehow I managed to write and draw the entire thing in a month! 

Maybe it came out well because I didn't have a lot of time? I couldn't afford to screw around and had to make art and writing decisions quickly. Quite often stress fuels creativity.

I wish I had the time and resources to make an animated holiday special of this story, like the Rankin-Bass shows.

The Space Dweebs Vs. Space Santa

It's Xmas meets technology in this wacky story of irresponsible science nerds run amok!

Like Santataur, this one started out life as a drawing, and I later wrote a story around the characters and turned it into a card/book.

Unfortunately I had way more story than space. The original version clocked in at twenty pages. I had to do a lot of slashing and condensing and rewriting to get it down to a more manageable twelve.

I was also going through a downsizing trauma at the time, which kind of put a damper on my enthusiasm for the project. But I started on it anyway, and it turned out to be good therapy. Working on the Space Dweebs kept my mind off my job woes.

Santa Claus, The Yeti And The Really Bad Decision

An apocalyptic account of Man vs. Nature, as the Earth is doomed by one man's hubris.

I sound like a broken record, but this was another card/slash book that was finished at the last minute. It's a well known law of graphic design— a project will always expand to fill the available time. 

Adding to the lengthy production time was the fact that I went on a family vacation in the middle of it, in addition to working on a massive freelance project at the same time.

I remember I started drawing the pages before I had all the details nailed down, so a lot of elements were created on the fly. Things like the hot young version of Mrs. Claus, the violent Elf names and the Yetis' ability to shoot ice rays.

It's dangerous to work that way, but it all turned out OK this time.

Dr. Killdeath & Count Gothula's Venomous Christmas

A sordid saga of revenge and brinkmanship as two powerful titans battle to the death as the rest of the planet looks on helplessly.

Last year's card/book was a massive twenty four pages, the longest I'd ever attempted. I knew it was gonna be a whopper, so I started extra early. Didn't matter. I still barely finished it by Xmas.

This story is based on classic Looney Tunes cartoons, the kind where the characters try to kill one another in an ever-escalating series of attacks. Even with the extra page count I still had more ideas than space, and had to pare down the number of attacks. Ah well.

Dr. Killdeath Paper Craft Model

I also made a Dr. Killdeath paper model. It's probably the most complicated one I've done so far. I'll probably make one of Count Gothula one of these days, as soon as I figure out how to construct a decent round head.

So there you go, a rundown of all the Xmas Card/Books I've made the past few years. Apologies to anyone who was expecting a new one this year. Who knows, maybe after I've had some time away from them I'll get the itch to create some more.

Art In The Wild!

I was browsing in my local comic bookery last week, and imagine my surprise when I walked past the gaming section and spotted my RARRR!! game on the shelf! Cool!

OK, so technically it' s not my game... it's published by APE Games. They're a Texas-based company that's been manufacturing fine board and card games since 1977.

But I did create just about all the art for the game a couple of years back. You can read all about that particular project here. Apparently the game has just been reprinted, hence its appearance on the shelves.

Imagine, my monster art is sitting there on the shelf next to Star Trek and Minecraft games! I'm somebody! I'm finally somebody!

Of course now that I've spotted my game in the comic shop, I'm going to become obsessed with it and check to see if both copies are still there every time I go in. And of course if they are, I'll immediately become despondent and hide under my desk all weekend.

In order to prevent that, I suggest you all immediately check your local comic shop for the RARRR!! game, or better yet, order it directly from the APE Games site.

Christmas A Humbug?

I first posted this way back in 2009, so it's high time for a repost!

I wonder if Charles Dickens, in his wildest dreams, ever imagined we'd still be reading his little Xmas story over 160 years after he wrote it?

"Oh! But he was a tight-fisted hand at the grind-stone, Scrooge! a squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous, old sinner! Hard and sharp as flint, from which no steel had ever struck out generous fire; secret, and self-contained, and solitary as an oyster. The cold within him froze his old features, nipped his pointed nose, shrivelled his cheek, stiffened his gait; made his eyes red, his thin lips blue; and spoke out shrewdly in his grating voice. A frosty rime was on his head, and on his eyebrows, and his wiry chin. He carried his own low temperature always about with him; he iced his office in the dog-days; and didn't thaw it one degree at Christmas. "

"If I could work my will," said Scrooge indignantly, "every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' on his lips, should be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!"
It's a story I never get tired of no matter how many times I hear or read it. Hopefully that isn't because I'm too much like Scrooge.

I deliberately made most of the colors as gray and desaturated as possible so that the red scarf would really pop. Why? Um... because I thought it would look cool.

Drawn in Photoshop on the graphic tablet. The text was hand lettered.
Here's the original sketch of Scrooge.

UPDATED Doctor Who Pinups

Way back in 2010 I started a series of vector drawings of all the various incarnations of the Doctor (there were eleven at the time). Now that I've had a few more years of experience in working with vector, I decided to update them all and fix some things that were bothering me about them. And to add the recently introduced War Doctor and the Twelfth Doctor to the mix.

Please forgive the ugly watermark on the illustration. I swore I would never add one to my art, because I know that 99.99% of my readers would never even think of stealing it. But earlier this year I had a run-in with an art thief who was not only stealing my work, but selling it as her own! Hence the watermarks. This is why we can't have nice things.

Spock Model Kit Illustration Step By Step

As promised, here's a step-by-step look at how I drew my recent Mr. Spock Model Kit illustration. 

It was drawn all in Photoshop, on a ton of separate layers. Each step shown represents a different layer. I combined a few for this post, just so we wouldn't be here all day. In all there were fifty four layers.

It all starts with a box.

I added a white border around the edges of the box, as well as a dividing line.

Next I added the blue box at the left. Exciting, isn't it?

Then I added the logos at the side. The Star Trek logo was hand drawn. There are some Trek fonts out there that I probably could have downloaded and used, but I like recreating logos by hand. I didn't spend a huge amount of time on it, I just traced over the real logo with the pen tool in Photoshop. I also traced it vertically as it's seen here, instead of horizontally as I normally would. That was a first for me.

I briefly considered going the Wacky Packages route and making it say Star Dreck or something like that, but in the end decided to stick with the real name.

The AMT logo was fairly simple, just a red box with rounded corners and typeset text. I couldn't find a perfect match for the real font, but I won't tell if you won't.

Next I added a black outline around the edge of the box.

And lastly I added the text in the upper right corner. The "Mr. Spock" was also hand drawn, because I couldn't find a font that matched it exactly. The white tag line underneath was simple typeset text.

These graphic design elements were the easiest and quickest parts of the project, taking just an hour or two.

Next I started on the background. I had an image of the actual box art on a layer, and would constantly turn it on and off and check it to see if my colors matched and if I was getting the clouds and mountains and such right. I used a splotchy Photoshop brush to match the painterly look as well as I could.

I then added the distant mountains in the background, with suitable shading. Note that for some reason I wasted time drawing the reflections of the mountains in the water, even though they were totally covered up in the next step.

Next up I added the brownish middle ground. I learned my lesson from the previous layer and didn't bother detailing that plain area near the right, because it would end up being covered by the three-headed snake. No sense spending time on something that'll never be seen, right?

I then added the foreground rocks. I was just blocking in shapes here and planned to color that grey mound at the right a light brown, but then changed my mind and decided to do that on a separate layer.

I added the sandy soil, including the snakes "nest," over the rocks on another layer.

It's kind of hard to see unless you zoom in, but I added some sand effects to the nest on a separate layer.

Why do I use so many layers, you ask? Ease of use, and so I don't destroy all my hard work, that's why. If I drew the sand effect on the mound and then decided I didn't like it, I'd be screwed. By adding the sand on its own layer, if it didn't come out right the first time I could erase it and try again, with no harm done to the art below.

Also, by using layers I can adjust the size and color of an element without affecting anything else on the page (like when I realized Spock's left hand was larger than his right, and had to fix it). I'd be totally lost without layers.

Next I added a little patch of grass near the bottom center.

And then drew the alien plant and dead trees in the background.

Next I drew the wispy "smoke" in the center. I'm not quite sure what this stuff is supposed to be. Volcanic plumes? Noxious gas escaping from the planet? I have no idea.

It's actually starting to look like a proper background now.

I then added the tiny Enterprise zooming overhead in the upper left corner. The ship generally didn't ever fly this low on the show— chalk it up to artistic license.

Lastly I added the ship's exhaust trails. And that's it! The background's finally done! Whew! On to the next step.

Now it's time for the characters. I copied the background art pretty closely, but I wanted the actual figures to be more in line with my usual cartoony style. Wacky, even.

First up is the three headed snake. As you might expect by now, each of the snake's heads was drawn on a separate layer. I drew the foreground snake first.

Then I added various details on another layer.

Then I drew the middle snake.

And his details on another layer.

And lastly the far snake.

And of course his details.

I added a few scales on a separate layer, and played with the opacity until I thought they looked right. That's another advantage to using layers— you can adjust the opacity or how they interact with the layers below them.

Next I drew the shaded ridges on the snakes' bellies.

And lastly I added irregular white highlights to their bodies, to make it look like their skin's glistening. And that's it for the snake!

Hopefully it reads as one snake with three heads, and not three separate snakes crowding out of that hole. When I look at it, sometimes I see it as one, other times as three. The same thing happens when I look at the original box art though, so I'm blaming the source material.

Now it's time to add the focus of the box, Spock.

I started with his face, and added a few rough features.

Next I added his hair, eyes and his trademark upswept eyebrows.

I added his left ear on its own layer, so I could detail it without messing up the rest of his face. I made this ear a bit darker so it wouldn't blend in with his nose.

Then I drew his blue science-division shirt.

And next his legs and boots.

I added his left arm and hand, holding what I assume is supposed to be his communicator. Note that it doesn't look anything like the prop used on the show. I went back and forth as to whether I should draw him holding the actual communicator or the inaccurate version seen on the box art. 

In the end the "wrong" one won out. I figured since I was recreating the box art, I might as well go with that version.

Next I drew his right arm. Again, it's drawn on its own layer so I could shade it without affecting the shirt underneath. 

Spock's limbs underwent quite a few changes as I was working on him. They looked OK in the sketch, but once I drew them for real, I realized they were way too long, which made him awkward and gawky looking. Also his left hand, which is farther from the viewer, was originally much larger than his right hand, which just ain't right.

Fortunately because all these parts were drawn on separate layers, it was easy to fix them.

I drew Spock's inaccurate phaser next. It's closer to the TV version than the communicator is, but it's still not right.

I just realized that Spock looks very incomplete without his Starfleet emblem and rank stripes. Naked, even!

Next I added many the details to his face and shirt. I added a 5 o'clock shadow around his mouth and a bit of red to his nose, to help give his face some life. I also added the "eye shadow" he always had on his lids (look at any photo of Spock— honest to god it looks like he's wearing dark grey eye shadow). 

I then added the aforementioned Starfleet emblem and rank stripes, plus his tricorder strap.

Then I drew wrinkles on his shirt and pants. On a separate layer of course. There was lots of drawing and erasing and redrawing of wrinkles before I was satisfied with them.

Next I added the phaser blast. Hopefully he's got it on stun and not disintegrate. I also added his tricorder, visible just under his right wrist. Not much to it, it's pretty much just a black square.

And that's it for Spock! There were only two things left to do.

I added some shading/aging around the edges and corners of the box, just so it wouldn't look quite so pristine.

And lastly added my signature in the lower right corner.

So there you have it. A recreation of the Spock model kit box art, in only thirty nine easy steps. Actually there were a lot more steps than that, as you could probably tell; a lot of them got combined here.

Once again, here's the original box for comparison, in case you've never seen it (which is a real possibility, since it's first appeared in the 1970s).

Here's an animated gif of the entire process.