Congratulations to perennial bridesmaid Leonardo DiCaprio, for finally becoming a bride and winning his first ever Oscar.®
DiCaprio won the long-overdue Best Actor Award for The Revenant, a film in which his throat is slashed in a bear attack and he doesn't speak a word of dialogue for a good hour and a half of screen time. Well done, Leo!
Now maybe I can finally stop hearing about his tragic Oscar® deficit every goddamned time I go online.
Get off my lawn!