Sunday, October 13, 2019

Thanks, I Hate Data Now

CBS, the people who brought us the awful Star Trek: Discovery (or STD) for short, are now making a new series starring Captain Picard. In an unprecedented and impressive burst of creativity, the show's imaginatively titled "Picard."

They're doing everything they can to ensure this new series is a hit, including pulling virtually every old TNG actor out of the retirement home and shoving them in front of the camera. 

That includes Brent Spiner as Data. Or at least I think it's Data. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR FACE?

Thanks, I hate Data now.

Jesus, he's not in the uncanny valley, he's at the bottom of the uncanny Mariana Trench! Part of the reason why he looks so strange and oft putting is no doubt due to the ravages of age. But there's more to it than that.

For reasons too complicated to go into right now, whenever CBS puts out anything Trek related, they're legally obligated to make it 25% different from any of the old series. That's why everything on STD didn't look anything like the Star Trek we all know and love, even though it supposedly took place ten years before the Original Series.

I don't know how you measure a 25% difference, but there you go. So apparently this is what Data looks like when he's 25% different.

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