Prime Suspect

This week Amazon announced it's raising the annual price of a Prime membership by a whopping TWENTY BUCKS, from $119 to $139.

Twenty freakin' bucks! For those of you scoring at home, that's almost a 17% increase! Jaysis Kee-rist! It was $99 when I first signed up!

So Amazon, since you're jacking up the cost so much, I assume that means we'll all be getting more value for our money then, right? Like, from this point on ALL movies and TV shows on your streaming service will be FREE to watch, right? No? Hmm.

Well then I guess it means that from now on your "Free Two Day Shipping" will actually mean just that, and I'll be GUARANTEED to get my packages in two days— no exceptions or excuses? No? It doesn't mean that either? Interesting.

So just what the hell are we getting out of this price increase? What's in it for us? The satisfaction that we helped your Dr. Evil-looking CEO build another dick-shaped spaceship? Feh!

For f*ck's sake, Amazon, your company is worth an estimated $1.8 TRILLION (yeah, trillion— that's not a typo) and you made $3.5 BILLION in profits in just the 4th Quarter of 2021 alone. And you've got the massive balls to strong-arm us all for another $20 a year? How much frakin' money does Jeff Bezos need?