This Is Heavy, Doc!

A company with the incredibly imaginative name of Factory Entertainment is currently selling a high-end Back To The Future Flux Capacitor prop. It's a 1/1 replica, and features authentic lights and sounds from the film.

Pretty cool! But that price! Jaysis! For $1,200 it'd better actually work, and let me meet my parents when they were teens!
 

Multiverse Of Meh-ness

In Back To The Future, Marty McFly accidentally travels back to 1955, where he crashes into Old Man Peabody's barn.

Peabody and his family are startled by Marty, whose hazmat suit and DeLorean make it look like he's an alien from another planet.

This is confirmed by Old Man Peabody Jr., who holds up a sci-fi pulp mag with a cover featuring an invading alien who's dressed just like Marty.

For the record, this is the front & back cover of the kid's Tales From Space mag. On the back there's a colorful ad for an Official Red Rider Carbine Air Rifle...

Which is very much like the one Ralpie Parker covets in A Christmas Story.

Welp, that makes it official! Back To The Future and A Christmas Story both take place in the same cinematic universe! 

I can't wait to see Doc Brown interact with Ralphie's Old Man! 

Happy 35th Anniversary To Back To The Future!

Happy 35th Anniversary to Back To The Future, which was released on July 3, 1985.

It's hard to believe, but we're now further away from the premiere of the movie than Marty McFly was from 1955!

Manure-Covered Toys. I Hate Manure-Covered Toys!

This is actually old news, but I just now found out about it. A few years back, Mattel released a series of Hot Wheels die cast cars based on Back To The Future. As you can see here, they released Marty McFly's 4-Wheel Drive Pickup, Doc Brown's Time-Traveling DeLorean and... some sort of third vehicle...

That third one would be Biff Tannen's Ford Super De Luxe Convertible... covered in a pile of manure.

I honestly thought this was a well-done spoof when I first saw it, but it's 100% real!

Here's a shot of the scene in question, in case you forgot. Seriously? Was there really no other vehicle they could have used to round out the wave? Did they really reach the bottom of the barrel after two cars and have to resort to using a sh*t-covered convertible?

Fortunately Mattel had the presence of mind to make the poop pile removable, so you can pop it off and display the car feces-free.

"Manure-covered toys. I hate manure-covered toys!"

Great Scott!

Although at first glance it appears this is a wealthy auto enthusiast's garage full of cars, in reality they're actually all the exact same DeLorean. 

No doubt there are seventeen Marty McFly's as well, all running their hands through their hair and talking to Doc Brown at the same time.

"Dammit, Martys! What have you all done to the space/time continuum now? We've gotta get you... I mean you all... back to the future!"

Legends Of Tomorrow Season 2, Episode 2: The Justice Society Of America

This week's Legends Of Tomorrow finally introduces the granddaddy of all superhero teams— the Justice Society Of America— to the Arrowverse. 

Overall it was a pretty good episode, and the JSA was a welcome addition, even if most of them were little more than background extras. Never in my wildest dreams would I ever have imagined that it would be possible to watch a network TV series featuring the Justice Society fighting a team of time-traveling superheroes. It's a great time to be alive.

The 1942 setting was fun, and had a definite Indiana Jones vibe to it. And we discovered that Professor Stein may not be an effective leader, but he's got a pretty darned good voice.

The Baron Krieger CGI effects were a bit dodgy, but, eh... it's a TV show, with a TV budget. I can forgive the occasional wobbly effect.

SPOILERS!

The Plot:
Picking up where we left off last week, the Justice Society Of America— consisting of Commander Steel, Vixen, Dr. Midnite, Obsidian and Stargirl—  confront the Legends in 1942, mistaking them for Nazi spies. The JSA attack the Legends, using their various powers to make quick work of them and capture the team.

The Legends are then locked in a cell in the JSA Headquarters. Commander Steel tells Hourman that the Legends claim to know him, but he's never seen them before. Hourman says he should probably question them before shipping them off to Bellevue. 

Hourman and Commander Steel question the Legends. Dr. Heywood tries to convince them that he and the others are time travelers, which doesn't go over well. Heywood reveals he's wearing a future version of Steel's dog tags, and is his grandson.

Meanwhile in 1942 Paris, Eobard Thawne, aka the Reverse Flash (!), meets with Nazi officer Baron Krieger. Thawne gives Krieger a super soldier serum (where have I heard that term before?) in exchange for the Askaran Amulet, a powerful supernatural artifact.

Steel releases the Legends from the cell. Hourman assumes Professor Stein is the leader, since he's the oldest, and is white. This doesn't sit well with Jackson or White Canary. Stein says that Hourman came to them in 2016 to warn them not to go to 1942. Hourman doesn't remember this, because it apparently hasn't yet happened. Timey-whimey!

Hourman gets a call from President Roosevelt, who says Krieger's in Paris, and wants the JSA to capture him. The Legends want to help, but Hourman says it's best if they go back to their own time.

The Legends board the Waverider and head back to 2016. Stein declares himself leader. Suddenly Heywood realizes that Steel's dog tags are gone. From this he and White Canary deduce that history was changed, and the JSA will die on their Paris mission. They decide to go back and save them.

Using Gideon's historical records, they discover that Krieger frequents a cabaret in Paris. Stein decides he'll impersonate Max Lorenz, Hitler's favorite singer, to infiltrate the cabaret and capture Krieger before he can kill the JSA.

Stein, as Lorenz, enters the cabaret with the Legends as his guests. Atom sees Vixen dancing, and realizes the JSA is already there. He cuts in, and she's not happy to see him, claiming the undisciplined Legends will get them all killed (which is a valid concern). 

A Nazi General doesn't believe Stein is really Lorenz, and forces him to prove his identity by singing. Amazingly, Stein belts out a moving rendition of Edelweiss, completely convincing the officer. Unfortunately Atom doesn't do the "Heil Hitler" salute, which infuriates the Nazi General. Atom punches him, and a big brawl breaks out in the cabaret. Fortunately the rest of the JSA arrive and knock out all the Nazis.

The Legends bring the JSA to the Waverider, and explain that if Commander Steel's killed now, Heywood will be wiped out of existence. The JSA vote to work with the Legends to capture Krieger and restore the timeline. White Canary discovers Heywood is a hemophiliac, and refuses to let him go on the mission. Heywood says his parents sheltered him his entire life due to his condition, and it's time he stopped being coddled.

The teams track down Krieger's convoy, which is transporting the Askaran Amulet. They attack the convoy, and Krieger injects Thawne's serum, causing him to hulk out and transform into a poorly animated CGI creature. Stein watches from the Waverider, and as the battle intensifies, he freezes, unsure what to do. A frustrated White Canary finally takes over, barking out the order to retreat. The super teams recover the Amulet, but Krieger escapes, and Atom and Vixen are captured.

Krieger's serum wears off, and he shrinks back to normal. He threatens to kill Vixen if Atom doesn't make more super soldier serum for him. Atom agrees, since his suit is damaged, and Vixen's amulet (which is different from the Askaran Amulet) has been taken, rendering her powerless as well.

Back on the Waverider, Stein admits he's in over his head and says White Canary should be the new leader.

Krieger conveniently leaves two incompetent guards to watch over Atom and Vixen. Atom clocks one of the guards with a microscope, while Vixen takes out the other. Atom takes the serum with him as they exit their cell.

Firestorm, Heatwave and Canary enter the Nazi stronghold to rescue Atom and Vixen. Canary finds Vixen's amulet and grabs it. The heroes are all reunited, but before they can get back to the Waverider, the Hulk Super Krieger attacks. Another battle ensues, as Hourman calls in an airstrike on the base. 

Everyone high-tails it out of the area except for Commander Steel, who's still in the airstrike zone. Heywood shows up with a motorcycle and rescues him. The airstrike hits, killing Krieger and destroying the base. Unfortunately Heywood's motorcycle is hit, and he and Steel are injured.

The Legends rush Heywood to the Waverider's med bay, but due to his hemophilia, not even Gideon can save him with her fancy futuristic technology (hmm...). Atom remembers the super soldier serum he was secretly modifying, and uses it on Heywood. Miraculously it cures him. Hooray! Heywood's dog tags reappear, meaning history's been restored for once.

Back at JSA Headquarters, Hourman stores the Askaran Amulet in a locker. The Reverse Flash appears and vibrates his hand through Hourman's chest, killing him. This of course means Hourman can't travel to 2016 to deliver his warning to the Legends, leaving the audience— myself included— very confused. 

Thoughts:
• Last week Professor Stein read the opening narration, this week it was White Canary. Maybe they're taking turns until Rip Hunter returns?

• Speaking of Hunter— is actor Arthur Darvill off the show now? I haven't read any Legends Of Tomorrow spoiler sites, so I honestly don't know. I'm kind of doubting he's gone for good. I'd bet real money he'll make a "shocking" return at the very end of the mid-season finale.

• Comic fans are all familiar with the Justice Society, but the general public's likely never heard of them. Here's a brief rundown for those of you who have no earthly idea who they are.

The JSA was the very first superhero team, appearing in All-Star Comics #3 way back in 1940! Yep, they preceded the Justice League Of America and the Avengers by over twenty years!

Oddly enough, only one of the JSA members seen in this episode were part of the original lineup. The very first JSA roster consisted of Hourman, the Flash (the Jay Garrick version), Green Lantern (the Alan Scott version, not Hal Jordan), Atom (the Al Pratt version, who was just a short guy who liked to fight, not the Atom who can shrink), Sandman (who had a gun that shot a sleep-inducing gas), Hawkman, Dr. Fate (a sorcerer with a magic helmet) and the Spectre (sort of a vengeance ghost). The lineup's changed dramatically over the years, so the fact that we're seeing a completely new JSA here isn't a big deal. Although it would have been awesome to see Jay Garrick and the Golden Age Green Lantern on screen.

Now for this new JSA. The leader appears to be Hourman. There've been several versions in the comics over the years, but the original used a drug called Miraclo that gave him super speed and strength for an hour at a time. It's not yet clear what, if any, powers the TV version has.

In the comics, Commander Steel was a soldier who was injured in battle and fitted with super strong bionic parts. The TV version may or may not share this origin; it's hard to tell. So far he just seems to be an ersatz Captain America.

In the comics, Obsidian had the power to become a living shadow, allowing him to pass through solid objects and even fly. He could also create crude objects out of shadows. So far we've just seen the TV version project some sort of darkness into the sky.

Obsidian was also the son of the Golden Age Green Lantern. The Legends Of Tomorrow producers claim this is true of the TV version as well. Does that mean we could eventually see the original Green Lantern on the show?

Stargirl is a newer JSA comic character. She wields a powerful cosmic staff designed by for former JSA member Starman. The TV version seems pretty much identical to her comic counterpart.

The comic book Dr. Midnite has one of my all-time favorite costumes, but one of the world's lamest powers— he can see in the dark. That'll be a lot of help when the team's fighting an army of giant Nazi robots! Oh, and he occasionally tossed "blackout bombs."

The TV version seems to have pretty much the same non-power. They tried to gussy it up a bit by giving him "Daredevil Vision," but so far he's still just a guy who can see with the lights out.

Vixen first appeared in DC Comics in 1981, and could mimic the abilities (not the form) of any animal on Earth. So she can become as strong as a gorilla, or as fast as a cheetah. It looks like this TV version has the same abilities (including the magic amulet that gives her her powers).

The original 80s Vixen was named Mari McCabe, and she appeared on over on Arrow in the Season 4 episode Taken. This version of Vixen in the JSA is supposed to be McCabe's grandmother. 

• The hard-thumping rock score blaring during the Justice Society's battle with the Legends seemed oddly out of place, especially for something that's happening in 1942. I guess it's not absolutely necessary to have period-appropriate music for every era they visit, but... this score seemed particularly jarring.

• Since Legends Of Tomorrow is a show about time travel, it loves to toss in Back To The Future references. They did it in this episode, when Professor Stein is forced to prove he's really Max Lorenz. He steps up stage, turns to the band and says, "Key of A, watch me for the changes and... try to keep up."

Marty McFly gave pretty much the same instructions to the Starlighters band at the Enchantment Under The Sea dance in Back To The Future, saying, "All right, guys, uh, listen. This is a blues riff in 'B', watch me for the changes, and try and keep up, okay?"

Edelweiss, the song Professor Stein sings, is from The Sound Of Music and wasn't written until 1959, so the cabaret crowd would not have been familiar with it. This isn't necessarily a mistake though. The Nazi General who's brought to tears by the song could have just been caught up in Stein's haunting rendition, not because he recognized the tune.

And that really was Victor Garber, aka Professor Stein, singing the song. Garber's had an extensive career in musical theater. Believe it or not, that's him in the photo above, in the musical Godspell. Yikes!

• By the way, Max Lorenz was a real person, and really was Hitler's favorite tenor. As you might expect though, in reality he looked absolutely nothing like Professor Stein.

• This episode's McGuffin was the Askaran Amulet, a piece of jewelry with— for now—  unknown powers. The Nazis are trying to obtain it for Hitler, who's obsessed with the supernatural (which was also a real thing). This whole "stealing a magic item for the Fuehrer" plot was very reminiscent of Raiders Of The Lost Ark.

• In this episode we find out that Heywood is a hemophiliac, who could bleed to death if he's injured on a mission. Near the end of the episode that's just what happens. The Legends stick him in the Waverider's futuristic medbay, but Gideon says there's nothing she can do to save him.

So lemme get this straight— last season Gideon was able to use magic future tech to regrow Captain Cold's entire goddamned severed hand, but she can't synthesize a clotting factor for Heywood. Got it.

• The Arrowverse shows consistently feature top notch, near-movie quality special effects week after week, on a TV budget. See King Shark and Gorilla Grodd over on The Flash for some awesome examples of their CGI character work.

Occasionally though their reach exceeds their grasp, and we get an effect like Kreiger Hulk. The character was definitely not the effect's teams finest hour, and looked like something you'd see on the Siffy Channel.

• Last week I was confused about the series' timeline, as I tried to figure out just when Hourman went back to warn the Legends not to go to 1942 New York. Bear with me here for a quick recap.

In last season's finale, the Legends are gathered together in 2016 and see a second Waverider crash-land next to them. Hourman steps out of the ship and says, "You're exactly where you said you'd be. Do not get on that ship. If you do, you're all dead." Heat Wave says, "Says who?" Hourman says, "Says you, Mr. Rory. You sent me... My name is Rex Tyler. I'm a member of the Justice Society Of America."

But then last week's episode opened with Oliver Queen and Dr. Heywood discovering the Waverider at the bottom of the ocean, with only Heat Wave on board. He says the other Legends have been scattered through time, and he and Heywood rescue them. They then travel to 1942 New York to save the city from an atom bomb. At the end of the episode, the Justice Society (minus Hourman) appears.

The Legends don't meet Hourman until this episode, and then he ends up getting killed by the Reverse Flash in the final scene.

So... just when did (does?) Hourman take the Waverider to 2016 to warn the Legends not to go to New York or they'll die, which they did anyway and survived?

Obviously there's some heavy duty time travel involved here, and Hourman will be back in some form or another to warn them, but I don't understand why this tiny little scene has become so complicated. Especially since Hourman's warning is moot at this point.

Legends Of Tomorrow Season 1, Episode 7: Marooned

This week on Legends Of Tomorrow we get the series' first ever space-based episode (LEGENDS. IN. SPACE!), as well as Rip Hunter's derivative origin story. Oh, and Captain Cold and Heat Wave's feud reaches a deadly conclusion!

Once again Cold and Heat Wave, who started out as the most standard, paper-thin villains imaginable, have become the series' most well drawn and compelling characters. I'm not quite sure where the relationship between the two is headed, especially after this episode, but I'm anxious to find out.

The Legends Of Tomorrow writers just can't seem to resists tossing in the occasional sci-fi movie reference into each episode. They outdid themselves this week though, as this episode must set a record for most sci-fi shout outs. It was distracting after a while. 

The villains in this episode, the Time Pirates, turned out to be far more lame than threatening. They were incredibly easy to defeat, as well. 

Seeing Professor Stein turn into Space John McClane and save the ship was fun, but his scenes were all too brief. We needed much more of him in the episode. That seems to be a running theme on this show— there are so many characters and the writers try to accommodate them all, which just results in episodes full of rushed and abbreviated character bits. I get that it's an ensemble show, but they need to focus on one or two Legends in each episode, and let the others watch from the sidelines.

SPOILERS!

The Plot:

The Waverider hangs somewhere in deep space. Rip Hunter sits in his office, watching low-res holograms of his late wife and son. Professor Stein enters and tells him the crew's getting antsy, as they've been sitting around doing nothing for an entire week. Hunter says he has no idea where to look for Vandal Savage next, because Gideon needs to get an update from the Vanishing Point, aka the headquarters of the Time Masters. Trouble is, if he lets Gideon do so, it'll set off an alarm and the Time Masters will know where they are and come runnin.'

Gideon receives a distress call from the Acheron, the flagship of the Time Fleet. Hunter says it's commanded by Captain Eve Barker, an old acquaintance, and if they save her, they can use her ship to update Gideon and find Savage. The other Legends worry the distress signal seems mighty convenient, and could be a trap. Hunter poo-poos their concerns. He leaves Atom and Hawkgirl in charge of the Waverider, while he, Heatwave, Stein and Jackson take the jumpship over to the Acheron. Captain Cold tells White Canary that Heat Wave is becoming increasingly violent and unstable, and has to be stopped soon.

Hunter flashes back to his days at Time Master school. He and a fellow student named Miranda Coburn are in a simulator, undergoing the Kobayashi Maru in order to graduate. Their instructor congratulates Miranda for passing, and says Hunter needs to think more like her. Outside the simulator, Hunter and Miranda kiss, and we realize she's the woman who will become his wife. They're interrupted by their hurumphing instructor, who tells them to report immediately to the Time Council. 

Back in the present (whenever that is in this episode), Hunter and the others board the Acheron. Sure enough, it really is a trap, and they're captured by a group of Time Pirates. The leader is Captain John Valor, who's heard of Hunter and his reputation. He says Captain Barker was transporting them to prison, but they escaped and took over the ship. She destroyed her time drive per protocol, so they sent out a distress signal, knowing another time ship would come to her rescue. He calls the Waverider, where Atom is pretending to be Captain Kirk. Valor tells Atom that he's holding the boarding party hostage, and to hand over the ship. 

Naturally Atom has no idea what to do. Hunter tries to bluff Valor by saying the Waverider crew are "iron-willed and battle-hardened," and won't hesitate to fire on the Archeron. Valor isn't buying it. Hunter says, "You don't know Palmer, he survived the Imperiex Onslaught." Gideon, who's been listening in, hears those last two code words and begins executing evasive maneuvers. 

The two ships begin chasing one another through deep space. The ships exchange fire and the Waverider is hit, which causes a breach in the cargo bay. Professor Stein sneaks out of the jump ship and into the Acheron. He finds the engine room and miraculously figures out how to disable the weapons systems.

Meanwhile Cold uses his freeze gun to seal the hole in the Waverider's hull. He manages to seal it partially before his gun's charge runs out. The bulkheads close, sealing him and Canary in the cargo bay. Despite the fact that Gideon's a sentient artificial intelligence that controls every aspect of the ship, she can't open a simple door and let them out. They're trapped inside, as the air is slowly leaking out into space.

Back on the Acheron, Valor throws Hunter and the rest in the brig with Captain Baxter. She tells Hunter he's a disgrace to the Time Masters and if they manage to get out of this, she'll arrest him and take him in. 

Hunter has another flashback. He and Miranda stand before the Time Council. They're accused of having a relationship, which for reasons, is strictly forbidden in the Time Master profession. The Masters give them one hour to get their stories straight before they pass judgement and kick them both out.

In the present, Atom dons his power armor and flies into space to seal the hole in the Waverider. Over on the Acheron, Professor Stein becomes a one man army. He knocks out a pirate and steals his weapon and clothing, and begins sneaking though the ship.In the brig, Heat Wave grows increasingly hostile. Hunter tells him he was never crucial to the Savage mission, and the only reason he was recruited is because he needed Cold, and the two were a team. Heat Wave looks hurt, and then calls for Captain Valor. Heat Wave makes a deal with him, and agrees to turn the Waverider over to him in exchange for a ride back to 2016.

Hunter tells Captain Baxter that he doesn't regret betraying the Time Masters, but he'll never forgive himself for failing to save his family. He flashes back again to the Time Council. He stands before them alone, ready to take his punishment. They tell him the trial has been cancelled. Apparently Miranda took full responsibility for their affair, and resigned. Hunter's now in the clear. 

Atom is almost finished sealing the hull, but his oxygen is running out. He manages to seal it just as he passes out. He drifts off into space, but comes to just long enough to activate his suit's jets and head back toward the airlock. Gideon brings him in, and says he's suffering from cardiac arrest (does that happen when you can't breathe?). Hawkgirl revives him with CPR. Gideon opens the bulkhead and frees Cold and Canary.

Just then Heat Wave arrives back on the Waverider, with the Time Pirates in tow. He sees Cold and tells him it's time to pick a side. Cold does, and blasts one of the pirates. A battle breaks out between the two sides. Heat Wave goes to the engine room to grab the time drive. Canary tries to stop him, but he's too strong for her. Cold blasts him with his freeze ray. The Legends capture the rest of the pirate boarding party.

On the Acheron, Professor Stein frees Hunter and the others from the brig. They battle the pirates, including Valor.  Eventually they're overpowered, and captured by the pirates. This would be a perfect time for Stein and Jackson to become Firestorm, but apparently they forget they can do that. Captain Baxter grabs on to a pipe and orders Gilbert (the Acheron's version of Gideon) to open the airlock. Stein and Jackson grab onto something just in time, as the pirates are blown into space.

With the pirates defeated, Baxter tells Hunter she's decided not to turn him in. She tells him Savage is in 1958. Time for one final flashback! Hunter runs into Miranda and asks her why she resigned and saved him. She says it's because being a Time Master has always been his dream, and he's so much better at it than her (HAW!). She says the Time Masters are wrong to forbid love, because it's no threat. Aw...

In the present, Hawkgirl kisses Atom. I guess she forgot all that stuff she said a few episodes ago about finding Hawkman and reuniting with him no matter what. The Legends meet to discuss what to do about Heat Wave. They can't keep him in the brig indefinitely, and if they take him back to 2016 they're afraid he'll target their families. Cold says he'll handle it. 

Cut to an unknown planet. Cold drags Heat Wave out into a muddy bog. Heat Wave wakes up and Cold tells him he's dangerous and has become a liability to the team. Heat Wave says only one of them is walking out of this alive. Cold says, "You're right," and seemingly blasts him with his freeze ray.

Thoughts:

• Let's talk about that ending first. It sure looks like Cold solves the problem of What To Do About Heat Wave by killing him, and I'm sure that's exactly what the writers want us to think, I would be very, very surprised if he's dead though.

For one thing, we never actually see him get killed, and there's no way they're going to kill a major character offscreen. Secondly we never saw a body, and the first rule of comic book movies and TV shows is: If You Don't See A Body, They're Not Dead.

I admit I'm not quite sure where they're going with this if he's not dead. Maybe Cold is just marooning Heat Wave on some unnamed, deserted planet somewhere in the galaxy.

• At the beginning of the episode, Hunter watches a hologram of his late wife and child. Why is it that whenever you see a futuristic hologram in a sci-fi movie or TV show, it's always looks like a blurry, monochromatic, lo-res flickering image from a 1950s TV set?

Oddly enough, later in the episode, Gideon projects a hologram of the Waverider that's so perfect it fools the Time Pirates into following it. Why's one type of hologram indistinguishable from the real thing, while others look like crap?

• Rip Hunter's origin story would have us believe he was destined to be a Time Master, and is one of the best there is at what he does. Too bad this episode doesn't support that theory. He really is a horrible captain.

When they receive a distress signal from the Acheron, the entire team smells a trap. Hunter ignores their suspicions, stumbles blindly onto the ship and is promptly captured. Even worse, he leaves Atom, one of the most powerful members of the team, back on the ship, and splits up Stein and Jackson, ensuring they won't be able to form Firestorm, arguably the Legends' biggest gun. Brilliant!

• As always, there are many DC comic references in this episode. 

— Captain Baxter, commander of the Acheron, is actually an obscure character from the comics. She was a teacher who joined the comic book Rip Hunter's team.

— Captain Valor, leader of the Time Pirates, was also in the comics, but in a vastly different form. In the comics he was an actual seafaring pirate, not a space or time one.

— Professor Stein says as a boy he used to read Rick Starr: Space Ranger comics. As you might expect, that was an actual silver age DC comic.— Hunter uses the code phrase "Imperiex Onslaught" to activate Gideon's evasive maneuvers. Imperiex is sort of the DC comics version of Marvel's Galactus.

— Hunter also uses the phrase "Kanjar Ro." In the comics, Ro was an evil space dictator, and one of the Justice League's earliest foes.

• In addition to all the DC references, the episode was chock full of nods to Star Trek, Star Wars, Back To The Future and even Pirates Of The Caribbean! An occasional nod or Easter egg is fine, but they really went overboard here. The constant references are exhausting after a while, plus they pull you out of the story and make you realize you could be watching something better.

— In a flashback, Hunter and Miranda participate in a Time Master test that's very much like the Kobayashi Maru from Star Trek The Wrath of Khan. Seriously, this test is identical in every measurable sense. The two students are in a live simulator, complete with realistic explosions, smoke and erupting sparks. There are opponents played by live people as well. And at the end of the test, their instructor even walks into the simulator and congratulates Miranda for her unorthodox thinking under pressure! They might as well have just showed a clip of the Kobayashi Maru from Wrath Of Khan and got it over with.

Every series is influenced by what came before; that's just a given. But this seems less like an homage and more like a blatant, nearly word for word swipe.

— When Atom's in charge of the Waverider, he pretends to make a captain's log. Hawkgirl says, "I hate to break it to you, but you're no Kirk. You're Picard." Atom says, "But Picard was cautious, pontificating and sort of sexless." Hawkgirl says, "Tell that to Vash," an obscure reference only a major Trekkie would know.

Cold says he's going to fix the hole in the hull, and says to Hawkgirl, "Make sure Picard doesn't get us all killed (referring to Atom)." Atom says, "Actually I'm more like Sulu now. Or Han Solo!"

— On the Acheron, Jackson says, "To quote every Star Wars ever made, 'I've got a bad feeling about this."

— When Valor meets Rip Hunter, he says, "I thought you'd be taller." I'm betting that's an oblique reference to Princess Leia's "Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?" line from A New Hope.

— When Atom's air runs out and he floats off into space, Gideon says his chances of survival are 3,720 to one. That's C-3PO's line from The Empire Strikes Back. Is it bad that I knew that without having to look it up?

— The Time Master's rule forbidding members from having families or relationships sounds suspiciously like the Jedi Order's similar law from the Star Wars prequels.

— Professor Stein says "Great Scott!" which of course is Doc Brown's catchphrase from Back To The Future.

— Heat Wave says, "Me and the pirates are gonna have a little parlay." That had to be a Pirates Of The Caribbean reference.

• When Heat Wave tells Valor he'll hand over the ship in exchange for passage home, I really thought it was part of a scheme, and he was playing him for a sucker. Too bad that wasn't the case.

• When the Waverider's damaged, the emergency bulkheads close, trapping Cold and Canary in the slowly decompressing cargo hold. Gideon says she can't override the bulkheads as long as there's a hull breach.

Well that was mighty convenient for the plot! Gideon is an advanced artificial intelligence who can fly the ship, but she can't open a goddamned door.

• Atom flies out into space to seal the hole in the Waverider. Unfortunately his oxygen runs out and he passes out, drifting off into space.

I guess it never occurred to him to pop back inside the ship for a minute or two to refill his oxygen tanks. Surely Cold and Canary could have survived another five minutes or so.

• On the Acheron, Professor Stein, Jackson and Captain Baxter are surrounded by pirates. I assume there must have been a very compelling reason why Stein and Jackson didn't form Firestorm? The two just stand there like statues, seemingly powerless to do anything.

This has been a problem with the series from the beginning—  the team is almost too powerful, so it's tough to come up with threats they can't easily handle. But having the two most powerful members just stand there was a little too much. I was practically screaming at the screen, yelling, "Form Firestorm now, idiots!"

• Baxter finally saves the day by decompressing the corridor, which blows the pirates out into space. As the pirates fly out of the ship, you can hear the infamous Wilhelm Scream on the soundtrack. 

That sound effect was a fun little Easter egg the first twelve thousand times I heard it, but it's getting a little old now. It's past time it was retired for good.

• This week Hunter mentions the brig, which is yet another room inside the vast interior space of the TARDIS, er, I mean Waverider. I'm still not sure how all the spacious rooms and corridors we've seen so far are packed in there.

• In the final flashback of the episode, Hunter and Miranda have a secret, illegal rendezvous in the Time Master's citadel. If your organization forbids you to carry on a relationship with someone, by all means plant a big kiss on them in a highly visible glass corridor.

Hover, Schmover!

An Open Letter To The Manufacturers Of So-Called "Hoverboards:"

Dear Manufacturers:

Please stop calling the above devices "hoverboards."

Besides looking goofy and traveling only slightly faster than walking, at no time do they perform any action even remotely close to hovering. 

Look at that thing! It's got wheels, for corn's sake! A hoverboard would have no need for wheels. It would hover.

How is this not false advertising? Please refrain from marketing your devices this way and change the name immediately.

Signed,
Everyone Who Ever Watched Back To The Future Part II

Happy Back To The Future Part 2 Day!

Happy Back To The Future Part 2 Day! Yep, today's the day-- the future date that Marty McFly time traveled thirty years to in the classic movie Back To The Future 2! Can you believe it? 

I can still remember seeing the movie when it came out in 1989. Back then the year 2015 seemed so far away. And yet here it is.

Everyone and their dog is spending the day listing all the movie predicted and got wrong. I already did that way back in 2009, so I won't subject you to more of the same. 

Instead, let's try something different and talk about Three Things Back To The Future 2 Predicted That No Longer Exist In 2015.

• After arriving in 2015, Doc fears Jennifer is asking too many questions for her own good, so he knocks her out with a futuristic doodad. He and Marty then store her unconscious body in an alley until they complete their mission.

Note that they stash Jennifer behind what appear to be large trash bales made up of CDs and LaserDiscs.

The movie correctly predicted that LaserDiscs would become obsolete, but vastly overestimated their longevity. The last LaserDisc rolled off the production line around 2001. It's impossible to find even one LD in a store here in 2015, much less a whole bale's worth.

By the way, most people snicker when they hear the word LaserDisc, thinking it was a failed format. This is not true. Although LaserDiscs never caught on quite the way DVDs and Blu Rays did, they were around from 1978 until 2001. That's twenty three years! Hardly a failure in my book. 

LaserDiscs actually introduced many of the features found on DVDs. Multiple soundtracks and languages, director commentary, deleted scenes, closed captioning, behind the scenes documentaries, blooper reels and special editions were all first introduced on LaserDisc. DVDs owe a huge debt of gratitude to LaserDiscs.

• Doc, Marty Jr. and Marlene all wear some sort of futuristic goggles that apparently display video images, information, phone calls and text messages.

These have already come and gone in our world. A couple years ago Google Glass was being shoved down our collective throats as the next big thing. The glasses allowed the wearer to take photos, send messages and view constant news and weather updates.

Then suddenly, POOF! They disappeared without a trace. I've not heard a peep about them since. Did Google scrap their plans? Are they being retooled? Will they reappear? Apparently the world wasn't quite ready to walk around with a computer screen in front of their eyes 24/7.

• Marty's home contained a fax machine in virtually every room. I'm sure that back in 1989 the concept of faxing in the comfort of your own home seemed very futuristic, but here in the real 2015 faxes have gone the way of the dinosaur. Oh sure, there are still a few fax machines out there, but I can't remember the last time I had to send one. And I for damn sure have never sent one from my home.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to loosen my clear plastic double necktie, grab a piece of fruit from my retractable ceiling garden, hydrate a pizza and watch my LaserDisc of Back To The Future 2 on my wall-sized TV screen.