Let The Wookiee Win!

From the Department Of Missed Opportunities: Remember the time that Chewbacca had enough of 3PO and lost his sh*t?
 

Unfortunate Timing!

As regular readers of my blog (both of you) know, I've been reviewing Disney's various Star Wars TV series for a couple years now. I enjoyed The Mandalorian quite a bit, The Book Of Boba Fett less so.

For anyone out there anxiously awaiting my thoughts on the new Obi-Wan Kenobi series, eh, I have some bad news— I won't be reviewing it.

The main reason is time— lately I find that the older I get, the less hours there seem to be in a day. Plus this is gonna be an unpopular opinion, but... I just don't care about the character. 

And here's an even MORE unpopular notion— I was never a fan of Ewan McGregor's portrayal of him in the Prequels. I can hear you all picking up your torches and pitchforks, but hey, it's how I feel. To me it seemed he was doing a half-hearted impression of Obi-Wan, as never once in ANY of the movies did I look at him and think I was looking at a younger version of the character. He always felt like an entirely new guy to me.

So no, I won't be reviewing the show. Heck, I don't  know if I'm gonna have time to even watch it! I did catch a few minutes of the first episode though, and I gotta admit I was kind of surprised by what I saw...

The opening features a flashback to the "Execute Order 66" scene from Revenge Of The Sith.

We're then treated to several scenes of a group of armed gunmen bursting into a school and firing on the students inside, as the teachers desperately try to save them.

Holy Crap!

That would be in questionable taste at any time, but unfortunately these scenes aired just three days after the horrific Uvalde school shooting in Texas, where nineteen children and two teachers were brutally cut down by a crazed gunman. Yikes!

So was I triggered by this incident? Did I have to take to my Patented SJW Fainting Couch®? Of course not. I'm not a fragile virtue signaler who howls when someone doesn't use the right pronouns, as I can tell the difference between deliberate intent and unfortunate coincidence. This is wayyyyyy down at the bottom of the list of Problems Plaguing Our Country, just slightly above Amber Heard's career. That said, I gotta admit it was some pretty regrettable timing.

To be fair to Disney though, this wasn't their fault. There were an astonishing SEVENTEEN more mass shootings in the week following the Uvalde tragedy. Seventeen in one week! That's over two a day! 

At this rate, it would literally be impossible for Disney to pick ANY date that didn't coincide with a real shooting in which to air their fake one!

The Name Game

As all good Star Wars aficionados know, fan-favorite character Boba Fett's ship is called the Slave 1— and has been, ever since it first appeared in 1980's The Empire Strikes Back. 

For over forty years that name's never caused so much as a ripple of controversy. Until now, of course.

This week Lego announced they were releasing a brand new, pricey (of course) Slave 1 playset. Except it's no longer called "Slave 1."

As you can see from the box art, it's now been re-christened with the incredibly imaginative non-name, "Boba Fett's Starship.™"

In an interview with Jedi News, Lego designers Jens Kronvold Frederiksen and Michael Lee Stockwell claimed that Disney (who owns the Star Wars brand) demanded the name change.

Said Stockwell, "We’re not calling it Slave I anymore. This is Boba Fett’s Starship.”

Frederiksen added, “Everybody is dropping the Slave 1 name. It’s probably not something which has been announced publicly but it is just something that Disney doesn’t want to use any more.”

Although Disney declined to comment on the matter, it's pretty clear they're distancing themselves from the name due to the negative and uncomfortable connotations surrounding the word "slave." 

Predictably, once news of the change broke, Star Wars fans pitched a huge sh*t fit. They pulled out all their old favorite arguments, crying that Disney was ruining their childhoods, destroying the brand and bending the knee to the SJW Twitter posse, so as not to offend their delicate sensibilities.

Personally I don't have a dog in this fight. 

Which is odd, because I've been a HUGE fan of all things Boba Fett since his debut. At one point I probably would have been incensed by this news along with the other fans, but that time has long passed— for multiple reasons.

First of all, the sub-par Prequels and unwatchable Sequels have pretty much killed my once all-consuming passion for Star Wars. While I've admittedly enjoyed The Mandalorian for the most part, it hasn't been enough to reignite my love for the franchise. So I honestly don't care about this whole name change business.

Secondly, the name Slave 1 has been used in the novels, comics, toys, games and publicity materials since the 1980s— but amazingly it's NEVER actually been uttered onscreen in ANY of the movies!

That means there's likely a huge swath of the population that's completely unaware that Fett's ship even HAS a name! Seriously, if it's never been said aloud, does the name even count?

Lastly, "controversial" name changes like this are nothing new.

In The Empire Strikes Back, Darth Vader's massive Star Destroyer was called the Executor. Again, this name was never said aloud onscreen, but that's what it was dubbed in the script.

When it came time for Kenner to make an action figure playset of the ship, they were uncomfortable releasing a kids' toy with "executor" in its name. To that end, they simply called it "Darth Vader's Star Destroyer."

Oddly enough, no one flipped a table over this back in 1980. Either people were more reasonable and had better things to worry about in the 80s, or there was no Twitter then where they could post their mock outrage.

Star Wars: Probe

DATELINE: SAN FRANCISCO, CA— 

This week Disney held a massive online Investor Day Event, in which they announced dozens of new projects in an effort to calm their worried partners and reassure them the company is still financially viable.

In the highlight of the event, Lucasfilm President Kathleen Kennedy revealed a whopping TEN new Star Wars TV series which will debut on Disney+, the company's premiere streaming service. These series (half of which will never actually see the light of day) are designed to cash in on the huge success of The Mandalorian, as they focus on numerous minor characters mined from the franchise. 

By far the most exciting and intriguing of these new series is Star Wars: Probe.

As with all the newly-announced shows, Probe is set during the timeline of the Original Series. It's based on the opening seconds of The Empire Strikes Back, in which we see twenty or so Probe Droids dispatched from the bowels of an Imperial Star Destroyer.

Each week the anthology series will follow one of these Probes to its destination, where we'll see it affect the lives of the various inhabitants living on that planet. Will the Probes help a colony of Twi'leks defend their home against a herd of marauding Rancors? Or will they discover a hidden cache of Rebels and report their location to the Empire? Tune in and find out!

In Stock Update!

A couple months ago I pointed out that for some unknown reason,JC Penney is now selling Starfleet uniforms from Star Trek: The Next Generation. They didn't have any red flannel shirts in my size, but by the gods I could dress like Captain Picard if I wanted.

But what about the female sci-fi fan? Not to worry, ladies, Penneys hasn't forgotten about you! You can now order a genuine Princess Leia metal bikini from Return Of The Jedi! 

It's the perfect ensemble for lounging around the house during our interminable group quarantine!

Note that even though the Princess Leia bikini features FAR less material than the Starfleet uniform, it costs about twelve dollars more. Sexist!

The Mandalorian Season 1, Chapter Two: The Child

This week on The Mandalorian we get another excellent episode, as Manny and his new-found pal travel the desert wastelands of Not-Tattooine, facing many dangers, perils and setbacks along the way.

So far, so good! We're only two episodes in, but so far I'm liking this series quite a bit. As I said last week, for the first time in a long time, I actually give a sh*t about Star Wars again.

This week's episode is a classic example of "Show, Don't Tell," as there are long stretches of screen time with little or no dialogue. I'm fully on board with that, as the silence commands the viewer's attention and helps draw you into the story far more than dialogue ever could.

As with last week, this episode was written by series creator Jon Favreau. He's doing an amazing job so far, and I have nothing but praise for him. Apparently I'm not the only one, as there are online rumors (that no doubt should be taken with an entire box of salt) that Disney's may be dumping current Lucasfilm president Kathleen Kennedy and replacing her with Favreau.

I don't for a second believe that'll ever happen, but I (and the vast majority of fandom) would be fine with that. Favreau obviously loves Star Wars, and understands the property in a way Kennedy has never demonstrated in all the years she's been in charge.

Many fans claimed the first episode of The Mandalorian felt much like a videogame, as Manny had to fight his way through several levels, met numerous NPC characters, outfitted himself with powerups and even went on a couple side quests.

Eh. I guess I could see that, although it didn't seem all that overt to me. That all changed this week though, as this episode is virtually one long live action videogame! In fact there's even a sequence which is almost a direct copy of an early 1990s game I used to play! And you know what? I'm fine with that! Whatever it takes to Make Star Wars Great Again!

Lastly, this week we get to spend a lot more time with the baby of Yoda's species. There's a theory floating around out there this infant is actually a clone of the Yoda we all know and love. One grown by Emperor Palpatine, as he allegedly attempted to create his own army of Force-sensitive soldiers for his own nefarious purposes.

That seems like a bit of a stretch to me, but who knows? Cloning's definitely a thing in the Star Wars Universe, so maybe that's really where they're going here.

SPOILERS!

The Plot:
Once again, I'm not gonna type out "The Mandalorian" every time I refer to the titular character, so I'm just calling him "Manny." Similarly, I'm calling the infant he finds "Baby Yoda." I'm pretty sure it's not THE Yoda we all know and love, but after nearly four decades we still don't know the name of Yoda's race, so I dunno what else to call him.

After discovering his bounty is an infant Yoda, Manny takes the child back to his ship. As he walks, the baby's anti-grav cradle floats along beside him. Manny enters a deep ravine, where he's attacked by three Trandoshans. After a brief battle he kills two of them, and sees the third running toward the baby with spear in hand. Manny disintegrates the Trandoshan at the last second. Afterward, he notices the trio had a tracking fob just like his— meaning there are likely more bounty hunters after the baby.

That night Manny sits by a campfire, trying to cauterize a wound he got in the battle. Baby Yoda climbs out of his cradle and toddles toward Manny, his hand outstretched. Apparently he's adorably trying to heal Manny's arm with the Force. Manny doesn't understand his intention, and stuffs him back in the carrier.

The next day Manny returns to his ship, and is enraged to find it being stripped by a clan of Jawas. He shoots and disintegrates several of them, and they take off in their massive Sandcrawler. Manny (with Baby Yoda floating close behind) runs after them.

He leaps aboard the Sandcrawler and begins climbing up the side of it. The Jawas do their best to dislodge him, trying to scrape him off onto a canyon wall and bouncing spare parts off his head. Eventually he makes it to the top, where he's surrounded by a couple dozen Jawas. They fire a disruptor at him, and he falls off the Sandcrawler, landing hard far below.

Manny wakes up sometime later, as Baby Yoda curiously watches over him. He returns to his decimated ship and rummages through it. All the weapons are gone from his locker, and when he tries the engines, they tentatively sputter and die.

Manny and Baby Yoda then hoof it back to Kuiil's farm. He suggests they find the Jawas and trade with them to get the ship parts back. Manny reluctantly agrees.

The three catch up to the Jawas, who've set up camp many miles away. They're not very happy to see Manny, but Kuiil smooths things over till they're willing to talk. The Jawas agree to trade the parts for Manny's Beskar steel armor, but he says that's a deal breaker. They then asks for Baby Yoda, but once again he tells them no dice. Finally they agree to trade if he brings them back... an Egg.

For no good reason, Manny brings Baby Yoda with him as he walks several miles and stops in front of a foreboding cave. He enters the opening, and after a beat is violently thrown back out. A large Mudhorn (a rhinoceros-like creature) roars out of the cave and charges at Manny, throwing him in the air again.

Manny's blaster rifle jams (?), so he has to fight the beast by hand. He gets trampled, gored and stomped repeatedly as the beast hands his ass to him. Exhausted and near death, Manny pulls out a tiny knife and holds it up as the Mudhorn runs full blast at him.

Suddenly everything goes quiet. Manny looks up and sees the Mudhorn floating helplessly in midair. He looks over at Baby Yoda, who's gesturing toward the creature with his tiny hand. Manny stabs the Mudhorn in the neck with his minuscule knife, which somehow kills it. Baby Yoda then collapses in exhaustion.

Some time later, the Jawas become impatient and pack up their Sandcrawler. Kuiil begs them to wait a while longer, but they say nah and start driving off. Just then Manny returns with a large Mudhorn egg. The Jawa leader takes the egg from Manny and slices it open. Several Jawas then dip into it, greedily slurping up the yolk.

Cut to Manny, Kuiil and Baby Yoda hauling a large sled full of parts back to the ship. Neither Manny or Kuiil know what to think of Baby Yoda and the power he displayed. Kuiil's afraid the baby's dying, but Manny thinks it's just resting.

They make it back to the Razor Crest, and Manny says it'll take months to rebuild the stripped ship. Kuiil says it'll go faster if Manny stops fretting and helps

Cue a montage of the two of them repairing and rebuilding the ship. Once the Razor Crest's up and running, Manny offers Kuiil part of his prodigious bounty for his help. Kuiil politely refuses, saying that helping a guest is the Ugnaught way. Manny offers him a job as first mate, but Kuiil says he's had it with servitude and would rather enjoy his now-peaceful valley.

Manny blasts off into space. As he flips various switches, Baby Yoda wakes up and stares at him.

Thoughts:
• Because The Mandalorian doesn't air on a traditional network, it apparently doesn't concern itself with standard episode length. Chapter One was 38:42 minutes long, while this one's a mere 30:56.

• As I said in last week's review, Chapter One felt much like a Spaghetti Western in space, with the Mandalorian taking the role of Clint Eastwood's The Man With No Name.

That all changes in Chapter Two. Manny now travels through a dangerous desert wasteland with Baby Yoda at his side, as this week's episode veers deep into Lone Wolf And Cub territory.

Kenji Misumi's 1972 film Lone Wolf And Cub tells the story of Ogami Itto, a disgraced executioner who was framed by the rival Yagyu clan. Ogami then travels the countryside with his three year old son Daigoro, as the two seek revenge on the Yagyu. Oh, and Daigoro's baby carriage is outfitted with an array of deadly weaponry!

The similarities to Lone Wolf And Cub are so blatantly obvious they're like a flashing neon sign, and once you see 'em, you can't unsee 'em. I'm assuming this was intentional on the part of the creators.

• There's no actual dialogue in this episode (other than Jawaese and some grunts from Manny) until the 11:09 mark! And you know what? That made it even more awesome! If fact I think it actually made the episode more compelling, as the story was told solely through action rather than dialogue.

Hats off to actor Pedro Pascal as the Mandalorian. Somehow he manages to give the character quite a bit of personality through body language alone— while his face is completely covered with a helmet!

• "First of all, keep him out of the light, he hates bright light, especially sunlight— it'll kill him. Second, don't give him any water, not even to drink. But the most important rule, the rule you can never forget, no matter how much he cries, no matter how much he begs, never feed him after midnight."

Seriously, Baby Yoda couldn't look more like Gizmo if he tried!

• I LOVED the part where Manny's in the canyon, and we get a quick glimpse of his attackers as they're reflected in his steel helmet. That was an AMAZING little detail. Kudos to director Rick Famuyiwa or whoever came up with that bit.

• Manny's attacked by a trio of reptilian Trandoshans, who're also after Baby Yoda.

All good Star Wars fans will instantly recognize the race, as they first appeared nearly four decades ago in The Empire Strikes Back. Bossk the bounty hunter was a Trandoshan.

• After the attack, Manny tends to his wounds by a campfire. Baby Yoda waddles over and reaches for his arm in an attempt to heal him. That's something we've not seen from Force users before.

Eh, I'm OK with this. Virtually every movie added some new Force power to the mix, so the ability to heal isn't that far-fetched.

• Great confusion surrounds the question oft just what planet Manny's currently on. Many fans believe it's Tattooine, and i certainly looks like it. It's a dry desert world filled with mountain ranges, canyons, sparsely populated outposts and deadly wildlife.

There're even Jawas living on this planet, which seems like definite proof it's Tattooine.

Eh, I don't think it is though. At one point we see Manny, Baby Yoda and Kuiil trudging through a thunderstorm (complete with lightning!) as they make their way to the Jawa camp.

I don't know if it's ever been stated onscreen, but I'm betting it doesn't rain on Tattooine. After all, Luke's Uncle Owen was a moisture farmer, who used vaporators to coax liquid from the air. I doubt he'd need to go to that trouble if water regularly fell from the sky.

I'm honestly hoping it's NOT Tattooine, as that's the most overused planet in the entire Star Wars saga. It's appeared in at least five of the movies, as well as many, many episodes of The Clone Wars. In fact it may be the most heavily featured planet in sci-fi pop culture.

• If this planet isn't Tattooine, then that raises many questions about the Jawa's presence. I was under the impression they were native to Tattooine. I suppose they could be indigenous to that world and still travel to other planets. They're scavengers after all, and there's a whole universe of junk out there for the scrounging. Why limit themselves to one measly planet?

Of course that doesn't explain their Sandcrawler. How the hell did it get to this planet? Did they transport it here on some massive cargo ship? Or did they build one after they landed here?

• This week we see Manny using his blaster rifle to disintegrate a Trandoshan and several Jawas.

This is no doubt another callback to Empire, where Darth Vader hired a group of bounty hunters to find Luke & Co. and specifically told Boba Fett, "I want them alive. NO disintegrations." Apparently it's a well-known fact that Mandalorians are notorious for blowing up their opponents!

• When Manny returns to his ship, he finds it's being stripped by a clan of Jawas. He then holds up a narrow telescope to his visor in order to get a better look at them.

Gosh, it's too bad his helmet doesn't have some sort of built in scope. One that can tilt down in front of his visor, and then be raised up when not in use. If only Mandalorian helmets came with an option like that...

• The Jawas flee in their giant Sandcrawler, and Manny runs after them. He jumps onto the Crawler and climbs up the side of it, while various Jawas pop out of panels and try to dislodge him.

It's a fun and exciting scene, but as I watched it I kept thinking it felt familiar somehow...

Then it finally came to me— the Sandcrawler scene is from the Super Star Wars game for the Super Nintendo!

The game more or less follows the plot of A New Hope. Early on there's a level in which you play as Luke, who has to— you guessed it— climb up the side of a speeding Sandcrawler, as Jawas and robot arms try to knock him off.

I spent many an hour playing that game, and it had pretty advanced graphics for 1992. If I remember right though, it had one MAJOR design flaw— you could pause the game, but it didn't have any save points. If you died or shut the game off for any reason, you had to start all over from the first level— even if you were nine tenths of the way through it! Crazy! And frustrating! 

In fact I remember one time I was playing it and got almost to the end, but had to quit & go to bed because I had to work the next day. So I turned off the TV, paused the game, and left it on all night and most of the next day, till I could come back home and finish it! Yikes! Unless I'm mistaken, when they came out with Super Empire Strikes Back and Super Return Of The Jedi they FINALLY added save points so you didn't have to resort to such lunacy.

Anyway, there's no way the Sandcrawler scene in this episode was a coincidence. I'm betting Jon Favreau played Super Star Wars a lot back in the day as well, and included the scene as an homage to it.

• At one point the Jawas swerve their Sandcrawler into a canyon wall, to try and scrape Manny off the side of it. The same thing happened to Indy in Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade, when Colonel Vogel tried to dislodge him from his tank.

• Last week Kuiil told Manny that he'd never make it to the asset compound on foot, and would have to ride there on blurgg-back. In this episode Manny returns from the compound to Kuiil's place— on foot! Whoops!

• When telling Kuiil what happened, Manny calls the Jawa Sandcrawler their "Crawling Fortress."

• Manny, Kuiil and Baby Yoda ride to the Jawa camp. Of course when the Jawas see them approach, one of them shouts, "Utini!"

• As far as I know this is the first time Jawas have ever been subtitled. Up to now we've always had to infer what they're saying.

• "Follow only if ye be men of valor, for the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived! Bones of full fifty men lie strewn about its lair. So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth!"

• I was very impressed with this shot of the Sandcrawler entrance. I honestly can't tell if it's a practical set or CGI. If it's real, then it must have cost a million bucks to build. If it's CGI, then it looks absolutely real. Either way, it's damn impressive.

• There's some blatant plot trickery going on when Manny sets out for the Mudhorn egg. For absolutely no good reason, he brings Baby Yoda with him on this perilous mission, when he could have easily left him with the honorable and responsible Kuiil. 

The ONLY reason he brought the baby along was so it could use the Force on the creature and save him.

• I thought the CGI Mudhorn looked amazing— especially for a TV show. I was particularly impressed with the way it interacted with the environment, kicking up mud as it charged and lumbered. At one point it even splatters mud on the camera lens! Cool! This series must have a massive budget.

• Manny must know exactly where to stab alien creatures for maximum effectiveness. He stick his tiny knife in the neck of the twelve foot long Mudhorn, and it instantly dies!

• Poor Baby Yoda. Lifting up Mudhorns with the Force is tiring work!

• Dayum, Jawas, you nasty.

• After retrieving the egg, Manny gets his ship parts back. He and Kuiil haul them back to the husk of the Razor Crest. Yeah, based on the state it was in, that pile of parts doesn't look anywhere near big enough. The Jawas took at least five times that load off the ship!

• As Manny & Kuiil return to the ship, they discuss the fact that Baby Yoda somehow lifted a full grown Mudhorn off the ground without touching it. They're both completely mystified by the incident.

Apparently neither of them have ever heard of the Force. At first glance it seems like a plot hole, but I don't think it is. Back in A New Hope, Luke had never heard of it either until Obi-Wan told him about it. So far every Star Wars movie has revolved around various Force-sensitive characters. We forget there's an entire galaxy of people out there who have no idea it's a thing.

• At the end of the episode, Manny blasts off from Not-Tattooine with Baby Yoda. The big question now is what next? He's obviously bonding with the kid— is he really going to hand it over to Dr. Pershing, who'll no doubt want to study and maybe even dissect it? I hope not, as it's fun seeing a ruthless bounty hunter saddled with a kid. But I seriously doubt they're gonna be a permanent team though, so...

The Mandalorian, Season 1: Chapter One

It's finally here! Yet another attempt by Disney to drain the last drops of milk from the dried up, withered teats of the Star Wars franchise. The ONLY reason to sign up for the Disney+ streaming service, and then cancel it once it's over. It's The Mandalorian!

As long-time readers of Bob Canada's BlogWorld know by now, there was a time when I was a HUGE Star Wars fan. From the moment I saw the original movie in the theater— first run, mind you!— I ate, slept and breathed the property. It had a major impact on my life and even influenced my choice in my so-called career. 

That was in the Before Time though. Things have changed.

The lame Prequel Trilogy dealt my Star Wars enthusiasm a mortal blow, and it lay on life support for many years. Then the Sequels (I guess that's what we're calling the new trilogy?) came along, and pulled the plug altogether. After the debacle that was The Last Jedi (which I've seen only once and refuse to see ever again or review), Star Wars was dead to me. It became a distant memory of something I once loved, but no longer thought or cared about.

So with all that said, I had absolutely ZERO expectations for The Mandalorian. None whatsoever. In fact I wasn't even planning to watch the thing. That's how little I cared for Star Wars anymore.

But then a funny thing happened— I started hearing good things about it. Things like, "It didn't suck," and "It feels like Star Wars again." I was intrigued by the people involved with the show as well. The series was created by writer/director/actor Jon Favreau, who helmed such films as Elf, Zathura, Iron Man and The Jungle Book. 

Plus the first episode was directed by Dave Filoni, who created the Star Wars animated series The Clone Wars and Rebels. I've never seen Rebels, but I did catch a few episodes of The Clone Wars and liked what I saw. In fact I thought they were miles better than the live action Prequels!

With all that talent behind the scenes, I decided to give the series a look. Boy, am I glad I did! I absolutely LOVED The Mandalorian! Loved it, I tell you! For the first time since 1999, I actually give a sh*t about Star Wars again!

As stated by others, The Mandalorian feels like proper, old school Star Wars— before the Dark Times. Before the Prequels and Sequels. It's set five years after The Return Of The Jedi, which is probably why it feels so much like the original films.

I think the thing I liked most about the show is that it's extremely simple. The entire first episode revolves around the taciturn titular character as he attempts to collect a lucrative bounty. That's it! That's all there is to it! No Jedis, not blowing up Death Stars, no galaxy-spanning wars, no senses-shattering secrets. There's not even so much as a lightsaber on display!

That definitely sold me on the show. The Star Wars franchise was starting to feel extreeeemely limited, as if it was impossible to do anything that didn't involve the Skywalker clan. It was refreshing to see another corner of the Universe that involved a completely new set of characters.

See, Disney? It's not that hard to do something good with this franchise. You CAN make decent Star Wars material if you hire the right people who understand the property and have actual talent.

Even better, the show's kind of about one of my favorite characters! I've always been a big Boba Fett fan, and although this series isn't about him per se, it's about one of his kinsmen, so it's right up my alley. 

It's only been one episode, but so far the series seems to be restraining itself when it comes to annoying fan service. Yeah, there're quite a few Easter eggs and references to the Original Trilogy, but I felt that most of them were there just as atmosphere. If you're gonna set a series in the Star Wars Universe, it's only natural to see familiar alien races and ships, right? There were a couple blatant "Hey, Remember This?" moments, but they didn't overwhelm the episode or piss me off.

SPOILERS!

The Plot:
It's five years after The Return Of The Jedi. On an ice planet that absolutely isn't meant to remind us of Hoth, the Mandalorian (played by Pedro Pascal, though you never see his face) enters a cantina. Inside, two alien thugs are planning to kill a Mythrol (a blue, fishy-looking gent) and steal his credits. The thugs aren't happy to see the Mandalorian, and pick a fight with him. He easily kills them both, and the Mythrol thanks him profusely for saving his life. The Mandolorian shows him a bounty puck, and the Mythrol realizes he's there for him.

OK, I'm getting tired of writing "Mandalorian" every time, so I'm just gonna call him "Manny" from now on.

Manny leads the Mythrol out of the cantina, where he charters a landspeeder to take him across the ice back to his ship. So I guess that's how he got there the first time, right? The speeder drops them off at Manny's ship. As if drives off, it's attacked by some creature living under the ice. Manny takes off, but the creature grabs one of the landing gear and threatens to pull the ship under the ice. He leans out the hatch and blasts it, causing it to let go. The ship heads for open space.

The Mythrol tries making small talk with the sullen Manny, but is met with icy silence. The Mythrol excuses himself and goes to the cargo hold, on the pretense of using the facilities. There he discovers several other bounties in a storage unit, all encased in carbonite. He backs up in surprise and bumps into Manny. He throws the Mythrol into a carbon chamber and freezes him like the others.

Manny lands on a planet and enters yet another cantina, where he meets with his "agent" Greef Carga (played by Carl Weathers). Carga pays him with Imperial credits, but Manny refuses them, saying they're no good now that the Empire's fallen. Carga says fine, pays him in Calamari "flan"and offers him a lucrative bounty job that's off the books. Manny accepts.

He goes to the address Carga gave him, where he meets The Client (played by Werner Herzog). The Client, who may have once been an Imperial Regional Governor, still has a squad of Stormtroopers hanging around, and is working with a Dr. Pershing. They want Manny to locate a fifty year old asset and bring it back alive. As payment, The Client offers Manny a bar of rare and precious Beskar steel. Again, Manny accepts.

Manny then pays a visit to a Mandalorian base or temple or something, which is populated by others of his clan. He hands the Beskar bar to a Blacksmith, who says it'll be enough to make him a new shoulder pauldron to replace the mismatched one he now wears. She says the excess metal can be used to support the many "foundlings" in their base. As she forges the new armor piece, Manny has flashbacks to his childhood, in which his parents were attacked by someone and seemingly sacrificed themselves to protect him.

The Blacksmith attaches the new pauldron to Manny's shoulder. He then flies to a desert planet that absolutely isn't meant to look like Tattooine, looking for his next target. As he walks along, he's attacked by a couple of blurrgs— dinosaur-like creatures that can be ridden like horses. One grabs his arm and pins him to the ground as the second charges toward him.

Suddenly the blurggs are hit by a couple of tranq darts and fall to the ground. Manny turns and sees he was rescued by an Ugnaught named Kuiil. He asks why he helped him, and Kuiil replies that his planet was once peaceful, until various bounty hunters arrived to attempt to take the asset from its heavily-fortified compound. He says Manny looks like he could succeed where all the others failed. He figures if he helps him obtain the asset, then everyone will get the hell off his planet and it'll be peaceful again.

Kuiil tells Manny the compound's too far to reach on foot, and says he'll have to learn how to ride a blurgg. He tries and is thrown off several times, before relaxing and calming the beast. Manny and Kuiil ride through the barren landscape, and eventually arrive at the compound. Kuiil takes his leave, refusing to accept any of Manny's credits for his help.

Manny hides behind a ridge and observes the compound, which is crawling with alien guards. Suddenly an IG-11 Bounty Hunter Droid storms into the compound, apparently on the same mission. Many intercepts IG and suggests they work together and split the bounty. IG agrees. Between the two of them, they manage to take out the dozens of guards. The two of them then stare at the compound's impenetrable door.

Manny jumps on a mobile cannon and blasts open the door. Inside they locate the asset— a tiny green baby of the same species as Yoda. Manny wonders how a baby can be fifty years old, and IG reminds him that all species age differently. IG wants to kill the asset, but Manny's reluctant to do so. He shoots IG in the head, and stares down at the baby. He holds out his finger, and the baby reaches up and grabs it.

Thoughts:
• Let's start with a disclaimer— I only know Star Wars from the movies. I'm not well-versed in the Expanded Universe, and know little or nothing about the novels, videogames and various animated series like Star Wars Rebels. So a lot of the questions I have about this episode may very well have answers in those other properties.

• As I said in the intro, Disney FINALLY pumped out a series that feels like real, proper Star Wars. The Mandalorian uses the same sound effects as heard in the Original Trilogy, the planets are populated with familiar alien races, and they even use the traditional Star Wars "wipes" during scene transitions! Well done!

• The original Star Wars was always sort of an old school Western— just set in outer space. The good guys wore white, the bad ones black (OK, with the exception of the Stormtroopers), there were shootouts and bar fights, people used animals for transportation and it was good versus evil.

The Mandalorian continues this theme, although this time it's more of a Spaghetti Western— grittier and more realistic, with morally ambiguous antiheroes.

• The Mandalorian is played by actor Pedro Pascal, who's probably best known as Oberyn Martell on Game Of Thrones. Note that at no time does Pascal ever show his face in this episode. I'm assuming at some point in the season he'll give us a look under his helmet, else why bother casting a reasonably well-known actor?

Rounding out the cast is Carl Weathers as Greef Carga, and actor/director Werner Herzog as The Client. Actor/director Taika Waititi voices IG-11.

According to the official cast list, Nick Nolte stars as Kuiil. I'm pretty sure someone else physically played him though, while Nolte just voiced the character. Maybe I'm wrong, but I can't imagine Nolte agreeing to sit in a makeup chair for four hours to transform him into an Ugnaught. Plus, Kuiil looked to be well under five feet tall, and I'm pretty sure Nolte's taller than that.

SNL alum Horatio Sanz plays the Mythrol. Despite the fact that I know it's him, I just can't see any trace of Sanz under all those prosthetics.

All in all, it's a pretty impressive cast for a TV show!

• For some reason, none of the planets visited in the episode are ever identified. Two of them look suspiciously like Hoth and Tattooine, although I don't think they're supposed to be. Who knows, though? 

Would it have killed them to have added some onscreen location captions?

• The second I saw that irising door in the cantina, I knew someone was gonna get cut in half by it! Sorry about the black bars, by the way. I can't get rid of 'em.

• The Mandalorian features a ton of aliens from the original series, which all self-respecting Star Wars fans will instantly recognize. I spotted Rodians, Quarren, Trandoshans, Off-World Jawas, Niktos, the aforementioned Ugnaught and of course a Kubaz (pictured above).

By the way, I laughed when I saw the Kubaz play a flute to summon a landspeeder taxi. His elongated snout is already basically a flute! Why didn't he just play his nose?

• Brian Posehn makes a brief appearance as a landspeeder taxi driver, who drives Manny and his catch back to his ship. Meh. I'm not a fan of these celebrity cameos. Whenever I see a star make an appearance like this, it takes me right out of the episode as I try to figure out who I'm looking at.

Hey, Brian Posehn, just because you've been a Star Wars fan since childhood and are probably friends with Jon Favreau, that doesn't mean you should make a distracting appearance here.

Some might point out that Horatio Sanz's appearance amounted to a cameo as well. Eh, I disagree. His role was much larger, and he actually helped further the plot. Posehn's inclusion was unnecessary and superfluous.

• I liked Manny's ship— the Razor Crest— quite a bit. It's high time we got some more cool-looking ships in the Star Wars Universe! I'm especially glad he has a NEW looking vessel, and not another variation of the Slave-1!

• In the hold of the Mandalorian's ship, the Mythrol discovers several previous bounties encased in carbonite for easy transport. Whoops!

In The Empire Strikes Back, carbonite was used in Cloud City as a way to preserve and transport Tibanna Gas to other worlds. It was never meant to be used on lifeforms. In fact when Vader announced he wanted to freeze Luke in carbonite to safely ship him to the Emperor, Lando warned him of the danger:

Lando: "Lord Vader, we only use this facility for carbon freezing. It might kill him."
Vader: "I do not want the Emperor's prize damaged. We will test it on Captain Solo."

Apparently after Han survived the process, the news spread among the bounty hunting community, and the carbon-freezing of perps became SOP. Maybe a lot of bounty hunters passed through Jabba's palace, saw Han displayed on his wall and decided to use the method themselves.

• In this episode we learn that Mandalorians never remove their helmets— at least around others. That was a surprise to me, as it seems to contradict what we saw in the Prequels. Hell, Jango Fett could barely keep his helmet on for more than a few minutes at a time.

This is one of those seeming plot holes that may have an answer in the cartoons, which I know heavily features the Mandalorian race.

• By far the best thing about The Mandalorian is the fact that it retroactively makes the Star Wars Holiday Special part of the official canon! For example:

Early in the episode, the Mythrol says he hopes to make it home in time for Life Day (!). That particular holiday drove the plot of the Special, as Han Solo was trying to get Chewie back to Kashyyyk (when one "Y" just isn't enough) to celebrate it with his previously-unseen family.

Additionally, all through the episode, Manny carries a blaster rifle with a forked end.

Which is nearly identical to the one Boba Fett had in the animated segment of the Special (which was his official Star Wars debut, by the way!).

Also, when Manny attempts and fails to ride the blurgg, Kuiil says, "You are Mandalorian! Your ancestors rode the great Mythosaur! Surely you can ride this young foal."

I'm assuming the Mythosaur may be the dinosaur-like creature that Boba Fett rode in the Special?

Hilariously, this episode also just made Gormaanda (the four-armed alien Julia Child knockoff played by Harvey Korman in drag) part of the official canon as well! That means she could have theoretically been Grand Moff Tarkin's personal chef!

And this touching scene of Ackmena (as played by Bea Arthur) singing to a giant alien rat in her Cantina on Tattooine is also now an official part of the Star Wars Universe. Oh, Jon Favreau... what have you done?

• If you look closely, The Client is wearing a medallion featuring the spoked symbol of the Empire around his neck. He's also got his own personal squad of Stormtroopers, whose armor looks like it's seen better days.

I'm betting The Client was one of the Regional Governors that Grand Moff Tarkin spoke of in A New Hope— one who's still tenuously clinging to power on this backwater world, despite the fact that the Empire's fallen. 

My theories are usually hilariously wrong, so future episodes will prove if I'm right this time or not.

• The Mandalorian features a ton of Easter eggs and callbacks to the Original Trilogy. I'm not gonna list 'em all here, as I'd have to type an additional 50,000 words. There are numerous comprehensive lists on other sites. I will point out a couple that jumped out at me though:

As Manny walks through a street market on the second planet he visits, we see a vendor selling roasted Kowakian Monkey-Lizard on a spit! Jabba the Hutt's pal Salacious Crumb was a Monkey-Lizard, and one of the most annoying-ass characters in the entire franchise. That made it extra sweet to see his species is apparently considered a foodstuff in the Star Wars Universe!

Also, when Manny visits The Client, he's confronted by a gatekeeper droid. Note that this droid is IDENTICAL to the one seen in Jabba's Palace in The Return Of The Jedi. It even says the exact same lines!

• I appreciated all the world building in the episode, especially the bits relating to Mandalorian er, lore. This week we learn that the Mandalorians are a secretive race that constantly hides their faces, there was some sort of Great Purge of their planet and Beskar steel is the most valuable substance in the galaxy to them. According to Star Wars lore, Beskar steel can block even a lightsaber blade! No wonder they love the stuff so much!

I didn't understand a lot of it yet, but I'm assuming they'll fill in the gaps in upcoming episodes.

I liked the Blacksmith's cool Spartan-looking helmet, proving that Mandalorians don't all look like clones (heh) of Boba Fett.

Speaking of Beskar steel, this week Manny gets a new shoulder pauldron made of the stuff, to replace his old one. Note that Manny's current look consists of lots of mismatched pieces scavenged from various other armors.

I would not be surprised if he gets more Beskar pieces over the course of the season, until he's fully outfitted in the stuff in the series finale.

• This week we get a couple of VERY brief glimpses of Manny's past, as he flashes back inside the Blacksmith's foundry. It's impossible to tell what exactly's happening here, other than it appears his parents sacrificed themselves to save him. I'm sure we'll eventually find out what's going on in a future episode.

Note that Young Manny looks Hispanic, just like Pedro Pascal (who's of Chilean descent). That reinforces my theory that we'll eventually see Manny unmasked at some point in the series. Else why match the ethnicity of the young and old versions of the character?

• I thought the blurggs were fun, even though I can't imagine how their bodies would work in real life. 

I'm trying to figure out just how much of them was CGI and how much, if any, was practical. Obviously when they're walking around or being ridden they're CGI. But I'm betting they build at least a partial blurgg for the scenes in which Manny's wrestling with one. If not, then that was some damned fine CGI!

By the way, the blurggs reminded me a lot of the pig lizard from Galaxy Quest.

• After more than three decades, we FINALLY got to see an IG unit in action! Awesome! 

We saw IG-88 back in Empire of course, but he never actually did anything, and stood motionless for his entire scene. I don't think he even moved his head! This IG unit is VERY animated, as his various sections can swivel 360 degrees to take potshots at perps all around him!

• So it turns out that the asset Manny's after is a baby of Yoda's species. GASP! A couple things here:

Manny seems puzzled by the baby, since The Client said his quarry was fifty years old. IG-11 reminds him that different species age at different rates.

Yeah, that may be, but do they really expect us to believe that this baby's half a century old? What kind of a life cycle is that? Can you imagine the poor parents of this thing having to change its sh*tty diapers for fifty goddamned years? I don't think so.

Secondly, it's been almost forty years, Lucasfilm. it's high time you stopped playing coy and gave Yoda's species a freakin' name. Why the secrecy?