Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Oh, For Pete's Sake!

If you're a regular reader of my blog, as millions are, you know of my highly publicized feud with the National Hurricane Center (it was in all the papers) over their insistence of handing out insipid names to deadly hurricanes and destructive tropical storms.

For example, last month Florida was menaced by the terrifying Hurricane Debbie. Right now the East Coast is in the path of... Hurricane Fabio.

Yep, you read right, Fabio. The beefy, golden-tressed Adonis who's adorned a thousand romance novel covers. 

Who would be afraid of such a storm? What's Hurricane Fabio going to do, come flex and pose on my lawn? Few people are going to take such a storm seriously.

Why can't they give the storms appropriately frightening names? Hurricane DeathStorm or Destructorr (the extra "r" is intentional, to make it even more frightening), that sort of thing. I'd be much more likely to flee for my life from such aptly-named storms than I would the meekly-named Debbie and Fabio.

According the Hurricane Center's list, for the remainder of the year we can look forward to storms such as Kristy, Norman, Patty, Sandy and Zeke (!). I'm trembling already.

Why don't they just name the storms Herbert Noodlemeyer and get it over with already?

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