Last week the various news sites were all in a tizzy about a breaking story of monumental importance. No, not the resignation of the pope. Nope, not the government's sequestering, whatever the hell that is.
No, the most important and compelling story last week was the death of Batman's old chum Robin in issue #8 of the Batman Incorporated comic book.
This imaginary death was newsworthy of course because it's only the second time in the history of Batman that one of the Robins (there've been five so far) has ever died. The one who was killed last week was Damian Wayne, Batman's 10 year old (!) illegitimate son. Didn't know Batman had a son? Neither did anyone else except for the 50,000 forty to fifty year olds who still buy comics.
The magnitude of this story rocked the very foundations of our nation, due to its unprecedented nature. The death of Robin is totally unique in the history of comic book literature and is nothing whatsoever like the death of Spiderman last year. Or the death of Professor X. Or that of Captain America. Or Superman, The Thing, Colossus, The Human Torch, Mr. Fantastic, Nightcrawler, Phoenix, Blue Beetle, Elongated Man, Green Lantern (several of them), The Abomination, The Rhino, The Mandarin, Ant-Man, Aquaman, Firestorm, The Flash, Supergirl, Green Arrow, Hawkman, Hawkgirl, Jimmy Olson, Lex Luthor, Martian Manhunter, Metamorpho, Sinestro, Superboy, Swamp Thing, Wonder Woman, Doctor Octopus, Green Goblin, Hawkeye, Iron Fist, Moon Knight, Ms. Marvel, Mystique, The Punisher, Sabretooth, Thor, The Vision, Wasp, Aunt May (Peter Parker's aunt), Alfred Pennyworth (Batman's butler) and even Batman himself.
We may never as a country witness a story this momentous again...