I don't quite understand why, but for some reason toy company Factory Entertaiment is making a 12' plush talking doll of Game Of Thrones author George R.R.R.R.R. Martin.
Great. Now Martin's taking time to record lines for a doll instead of finishing his goddamned series.
Why anyone would want a snugly plush doll of America's favorite procrastinating, character-murdering author, I have no idea. Perhaps it's therapeutic— the next time he kills off one of your favorite characters you can stomp on him or hurl him against the wall in a fit of rage.
The doll reportedly speaks ten phrases, such as, "When you play the Game Of Thrones, you win or you die."
Hmm. I wonder if it'll also say "F*ck You!" Or maybe it'll get defensive about not finishing the novels, and say, "
Just in case you doubt that Martin is spending too much time in the spotlight and not enough time at the writing desk, may I remind you HE NOW HAS HIS OWN DOLL. Think about that for a moment. He's become so well known from appearing on talk shows and granting so many interviews that a toy company can make a doll of him that's recognizable to the general public.
How many other authors do you think the average person can identify by sight? Shakespeare, Mark Twain, and... that's it. I can't think of any other current author who's so well known.
The George R.R.R.R. Martin plush doll will be available in the third quarter of 2015 (unless he delays it) and retails for $29.99.