Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Things I Would Tweet If I Tweeted: Ryan Lochte


A couple of weeks ago Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte and several of his dude-bros allegedly destroyed a gas station bathroom in a drunken rage. When confronted by the Rio authorities, Lochte stated they'd been robbed at gunpoint by local thugs, a claim which has since been disproved.

Lochte's idiotic antics reportedly caused him to lose all FOUR of his lucrative product endorsement deals— including Speedo and Ralph Lauren— which will cost him millions.

Maybe if Mr. Lochte plays his cards right, he could get an endorsement deal with Massengill.

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