Introducing The All-New Oldsmobile Disposable Car!

Saw this amazing car last night when I went to get authentic Mexican food in the food court of the nearly-empty mall on the edge of town. It's an Oldsmobile whose front end consists almost exclusively of duct tape (zoom in for better detail)!

Yes, when you think of fine luxury vehicles, you think of duct tape. With it's metallic silver finish, tear-resistant texture and high adhesive strength, this vehicle's structural integrity is guaranteed for life—  or until the first heavy thunderstorm, whichever comes first.

I'm not really sure what's going on here. The tape is all very smooth, and there doesn't appear to be any body damage or dents. I guess maybe the front bumper fell off so the owner simply taped it back on?

Whatever happened, it's a marvel of neatness. Enlarge the photo and take a good look at it, I'll wait. The tape is all perfectly straight and cleanly applied, with no air bubbles. They even taped it up so the hood can still open! Impressive. Most impressive.

Overheard At Work: Hubcaps

I work in a typical office, surrounded by many other workers in cubicles. Although I'm grateful to have a job I like, sometimes the vocal din from the surrounding coworkers is a bit overwhelming. Not to mention odd. Thank the gods old and new for headphones and Pandora.

The following is a 100% true actual conversation I Overheard At Work:

Woman (on phone): "If a hubcap falls off the wheel of my car and I find it, do you think it would be possible to reattach it?"

Oooh, sorry! Unfortunately when that happens it's time to buy a brand new car.

An Open Letter To The Drivers In My City

An open letter to the drivers in my city:

Warning Sign?

I got into my car this morning, started it up, glanced at the dashboard, and saw this.

At first I thought it was some kind of weird error code or warning indicator, and I wasn't sure if I should drive the car. It was early, so in my bleary-eyed state it took me a few seconds to realize that it was only the mileage on the odometer and no cause for alarm. The odd spaces between the zeroes and ones just didn't register as the amount of miles I've driven.

For the record, I am one of Detroit's worst nightmares. I tend to drive my cars right into the ground and then some. My previous vehicle had 138,000 miles on it, and even then I only got rid of it because it needed a repair that would cost more than the car was worth at the time.

I think the reason I keep cars for so long is because I absolutely loathe the car buying experience. I'd rather take a job as Oprah's human ottoman that go buy a new car. I hate all that bargaining and writing a number on a piece of paper and "I have to go talk to my manager" bushwah. That's why the last car I bought (this one) was a Saturn. I loved how buying a car from them was like buying a pair of pants. You just went in, found one you liked and bought it. No dickering, no fuss. Naturally they went out of business, as all companies I like eventually do.

And yes, that is my "Check Engine Soon" light blazing away there in the upper left hand corner. It's been on for about four years now. It's not a big deal. According to one of the ten repairmen who tried to get it to make it go away, it's probably on due to a microscopic hole in the fuel line, or a gas cap that doesn't seal properly. That's what I'm telling myself anyway

Sweet Ride

I don't have a lot to say about this car, other than I see it parked downtown where I work almost every day, and I think it looks pretty cool. The interior is just as tricked out as the exterior-- the upholstery is even the same metallic orange color!