Sweet Dreams!

Good news for kids of the 1980s! Lovable animatronic toy icon Teddy Ruxpin is back!

Teddy was originally created by Worlds Of Wonder, and premiered on store shelves in 1985. He's now owned by a company called Wicked Cool Toys, who've updated Teddy for the new millennium.

No longer does Teddy Ruxpin have old fashioned mechanical eyes like a common peasant. As you can see, this new version of Teddy features brightly lit, state of the art LCD eyes that are capable of over forty different expressions!

Hmm. His eyeballs are now basically two miniature smart phone screens, right? Screens that light up only when they're turned on.

So what happens when Teddy's eventually turned off? The screens would go black, right? Just like your phone when it's not on. And then he's going to look like some horrifying beast with eyes like wounds, who comes to life in the middle of the night and devours the souls of children while they sleep. Or like something that shambled off the set of Event Horizon.

Teddy Ruxpin wants to be your new best friend, kids. For ever, and ever, and ever, and ever...

Nighty nite! Don't let the Silent Shriekers bite!

That Johnson Boy

Agnes peered through the living room curtains for the thirtieth time that day. "Look, Henry!" she shrieked. "There goes that "Johnson Boy" down the street again." She spat out the name as if it were a chunk of mealy apple. "I just don't trust that boy. There's something not quite right about him. Something about his eyes. Why the way he glares at you, it's positively unholy. Where that boy treads, the neighborhood cats begin to disappear. You mark my words, it's only a matter of time before he torches this entire neighborhood!"

Drawn in Photoshop on the graphic tablet.

Here's the original sketch of that Johnson Boy.