Friday, May 11, 2012

Alcafinale

FOX announced today that it's pulling the plug on Alcatraz. Crap in a hat! I discussed my feelings about the first season in an earlier post, so I won't dredge them up again. Let's just say I had high hopes for the show (since it was sort of a cousin of LOST) but was profoundly disappointed with how it played out.

I was hoping it would get renewed and, now that we'd been introduced to the show's universe, things would kick into high gear and the second season would see a large improvement. Alas, it's not to be. Now we'll never how things would have played out.

This in a nutshell is why I rarely if ever watch TV anymore. I'm always reluctant to get all invested in a new program only to have it yanked out from under me, leaving the storyline in limbo.

It happens to me over and over again. I'm convinced that there's a direct line between my TV set and the networks, manned by a large room full of lab-coated technicians who constantly monitor my viewing habits. Banks of computers with blinking lights and spinning tape spools tirelessly analyze what I'm watching. Hundreds of printouts and graphs provide up to the minute details on my TV preferences. The second it's determined that I'm regularly tuning in to a particular show, the lab becomes a hive of activity as the team springs into action. The lead technician barges into the network President's office, saying, "Sir, we've detected a pattern in the Canada household. Apparently he's tuned into Alcatraz every Monday for the past 13 weeks." "Damn," exclaims the President. "I had high hopes for that show, and the late season ratings were beginning to show improvement. Ah well. You know what has to be done. We don't have to like the law, but we do have to follow it. Pull the plug!" Laugh if you will, but I firmly believe this is true.

Now thanks to FOX I wasted 13 hours of my life on this ferkakta show, for nothing.

I'm pretty much done with network TV for good. I'll just stick with my DVDs of All In The Family and The Monkees, thank you very much. At least I know those shows won't be unexpectedly cancelled.

2 comments:

  1. I finally committed to watching a couple of new shows this season so I'm not playing catch-up if they become enormous hits three seasons later.

    I liked Alcatraz but if it wasn't for the DVR and how easy it made it for me to see each episode, I doubt I'd have made much effort to follow it. But I did, and like you was hoping for more answers next season.

    I think the second biggest suspension of disbelief needed to enjoy the show - after doling out 63s on a convenient weekly basis - was the "Batcave" on Alcatraz. The nerve center of the whole show is below an island prison - located specifically because of its difficult accessibility - and yet every time there's a crisis, they'd cut from them in the control room on that isolated island in the bay...to tearing up the streets of San Francisco like Bullitt. I don't remember a single (modern day) scene showing them traveling by boat from Alcatraz to SF.

    Now that I know it's canceled, I'm glad I didn't put all my eggs in one basket, viewing-wise. I got into "The River," too. Can't wait to see what happens next season with that!

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  2. That's a good point about the Batcave. I think maybe in the first episode they showed Doc traveling to the island in a boat, but I can't remember for sure. You're right though that they seemed to effortlessly get from the island to the mainland in seconds, when in reality they'd have to call for a boat, wait for it to arrive, travel a good 20 minutes or so across the bay, dock, and then get out.

    The Batcave also featured an impressive array of "magic computers"-- machines that can easily research and display any info necessary to the plot. In one episode they were trying to figure out where one of the 63s had stashed something, and they said, "Show me a grid of the city, then delete all buildings that were built after 1963." Somehow the computer was able to do that in seconds instead of the several weeks it should have taken.

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