Monday, April 21, 2014

This Week In Signs Of The Apocalypse: Mrs. Doubtfire 2

THAILAND– This week the World Council Of Religious Leaders met in an emergency session to discuss reports of a new threat to the world at large.

The learned group of bishops, rabbis and ministers deliberated behind closed doors for several days, and came to the inescapable conclusion that the recently green lit film Mrs. Doubtfire 2 is one of the signs of the biblical Apocalypse, prophesied in the Book Of Revelations.


Rabbi Schlomo Mendelbaum, spokesman for the Council, held a press conference this week to discuss the dire omen. "I appear before you today with grave news from the world of entertainment," said the Rabbi. "The inexplicably popular original Mrs. Doubtfire, which was little more than an instruction manual for stalking behavior disguised as broad comedy, was apparently just the opening salvo by the forces of darkness against everything that is good and right in the world."

"The Earth barely managed to survive the first film back in 1993," said Rabbi Mendelbaum. "It will not survive a Mrs. Doubtfire 2."


"Seriously, where could they even go with the storyline?" asked the Rabbi. "Will Robin Williams, star of the original movie, mince about in old lady makeup yet again, trying to see his grandchildren this time? Even in an industry that's only concerned with the bottom line, how could anyone possibly think this is a good idea?"

"I must be honest with you, this news has shaken my faith to its very core," said the visibly distraught Rabbi. "What kind of God would allow such a thing to happen?

Indeed, upon hearing the disturbing news, rioting and panic reportedly broke out in several larger metropolitan areas. Rabbi Mendelbaum urged the populace to remain calm. "Though the news is grim, all hope is not lost. This is not the first time the specter of this unholy sequel has reared its ugly head. There've been rumors of a followup film in Variety and other trade publications for the past twenty years."

"If we all unite in prayer, we may be able to delay the film for another twenty," said the Rabbi. "Robin Williams is currently 62 years of age. If we can somehow cause the sequel to be delayed for even another five years, Mr. Williams may decide he's too old to be performing pratfalls in drag and cancel the whole project."

"Of course there's always the possibility of a remake," added the Rabbi ominously.



Note: For the record, this post was written about four months before Robin Williams' untimely death. I thought about pulling a George Lucas and deleting it, but in the end decided to leave it. I stand by my opinion on Mrs. Doubtfire.

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