Monday, November 17, 2014

This Week In Dubious Ad Slogans

So I'm watching TV last night and I see this commercial for Always Discreet Underwear.

It's thirty seconds of scenes of various women, all presumably with bladder control issues, dancing and whooping it up with confidence because they know whatever the activity, their protective undergarments will keep them dry.

So what, I hear you asking? Well, wait till you hear the tag line. At the end, a woman's voice says, "Now bladder leaks can feel like no big deal. Because, hey, pee happens."

Did they just say "pee happens" in a commercial on network television? Yes. Yes they did.

For the record I'm not collapsing on my fainting couch like some jittery soccer mom over this, but it does surprise me. After all, this is very obviously a play on "Sh*t happens," right? So apparently we now live in a world in which Always Discreet Underwear is referencing an R-rated slang term to sell their pee pants.

What I wouldn't give to have sat in on that ad meeting! 

It sounds for all the world like something a disgruntled writer would come up with. A writer who was passed over for a promotion or a raise or something, so when it came time to come up with slogan ideas, he submitted this one as a big F-U to managment. 

Ad Executive: OK then, does anyone have any slogan ideas for our new line of discreet undergarments? Something to do with staying dry with confidence, that sort of thing? 

(The copy writers look down at their note pads, saying nothing)

Ad Executive: Anyone? Come on, people? Why am I paying you?

Jenkins (smirking): How about, "Pee happens?"

(Audible gasps from the other copy writers)

Ad Executive: Wait a minute... wait just a minute.

(The other copy writers look tensely at one another, waiting for the inevitable explosion)

Ad Executive: That's not bad! I think you may have something there!

(Jenkins looks shocked)

Ad Executive: Yes, I like this! I think we can use this! KMart got a lot of positive press with that 'Ship my pants" thing they did a couple years ago, and this has that same edginess the kids all like. Jenkins, you're a genius!"

That's how I imagine this happened, and no one's going to tell me otherwise.

And in case you think I'm making up the whole thing, here's the ad in question. Stay tuned till the end!

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