Saturday, November 29, 2014

Black Friday Indeed

Dateline Ferguson: This blurry photo illustrates more of the shocking violence and unrest that rocked the volatile St. Louis suburb this past Friday, as hundreds of protesters clashed with pol... what's that? Really? Are you sure? I'm sorry, I'm now being told that this is not a photo of the Ferguson riots after all, but is in fact an image of Black Friday shoppers fighting over TVs in a Houston area Walmart.

Eager shoppers supposedly dived on top of the heavily discounted Samsung flatscreen TVs, clawing and punching one another until store security and armed police officers could break up the brawl.

Jesus wept.

I seriously do not understand why this continues to happen year after year after appalling year. What is it about Americans that causes them to be reduced to little more than contestants in the Hunger Games just to get a deal on a goddamned television set?

I swear when I see stories like this it's enough to make me start rooting for ebola.

Once again I am at a loss to fathom why would anyone brave the traffic, crowds and weather and stand in line in front of a store for hours to risk life and limb for a so-called bargain. Especially when you can sit in the comfort of your own home, a nice mug of hot chocolate at your side, and get the exact same deal online.

And don't give me that "Well, it's the thrill of the hunt" crap as an excuse. We're not talking about stalking an animal to provide for your family, we're talking about buying a damn TV. We're very near the end of civilization.

By the way, well done to all the pinheads in Texas who all dived on top of the pile of TVs. You can see in the photo that the boxes are all lying horizontally on the floor. Flatscreens are supposed to always be stored upright, so the screen doesn't bend or flex. So enjoy the defective, dead pixel display you worked so hard for.

And can we all as a nation agree to stop saying "flatscreen TV" and just say plain old TV from now on? When's the last time anyone saw anything but a flatscreen set?

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