Sunday, March 29, 2015

It's A Wonder

Last week DC Comics revealed their new costume design for long-running character Wonder Woman

Gone is the highly offensive and sexist "swimsuit" the character's been saddled with for decades, by the male-dominated comic industry. It's now been replaced with an empowering and practical semi-armored full bodysuit.

I'm not sure why Wonder Woman needs Wolverine-esque knives that pop out of her gauntlets, but whatever.

So Bob, I hear you all asking with baited breath, what do you think of the new Wonder Woman costume? Is it a hit or a miss?

Well... I don't much care for it. For one thing, I can still see a slight bit of skin, particularly in the areas of her hands and face. And the high priest collar, with the daring notch cut into the front, exposes far too much of her supple and provacative neck. And her hair!  Just look at those blatantly exposed tresses flowing freely in the wind! Worst of all, you can still faintly discern a slight indication of the female form through the material and armor. No, this new costume just won't do at all.

I hope DC won't mind, but I took the liberty of making a few tweaks to the new costume. Ah, that's much better. Now every square inch of her flesh, even her eyes, is chastely covered. No longer will Dianna be viewed as nothing more than a sexual fantasy by emotionally stunted man-children. This is the bold new empowered, politically correct Wonder Woman for our time!

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