Monday, March 9, 2015

Stamp Out Daylight Savings Time!

Once again it's that magical time of year when I'm forced against my will to get up at 4:30 AM and pretend it's 5:30 AM.

Daylight Savings Time. How I loathe it.

I'll bet if you asked any of our current lawmakers why we still adhere to this outdated and abhorrent custom, not a one of them would be able to offer a logical explanation. Most would probably say it has something to do with farmers and giving them more time to plant crops. It does not. 

DST was originated by the Germans in 1916 as a way to save fuel during WWI. Yes, that's right. We all lost an hour of our lives today due to a decision made by our former enemies over a hundred years ago. Seems perfectly reasonable to me.

Most people believe DST saves energy by giving us an extra hour of light at night. It does no such thing, and studies have shown energy usage actually goes up a percentage or two during DST. It's also dangerous, as auto wrecks and suicides rise the week after it's implemented.

For decades I lived in a part of the country that didn't recognize DST. We were on the same time all year round, and guess what? The city wasn't razed to the ground. We were never visited by seven plagues. Dogs and cats didn't begin living together. We happily went about our business while the rest of the country used more power, crashed their cars into one another and hanged themselves. The only minor downside of not recognizing DST is that our TV shows started at 7PM in the spring, and 8PM in the fall.

It's way past time we stopped this antiquated and ridiculous tradition. I urge everyone to relentlessly pester their lawmakers to repeal this idiotic piece of legislation, until they throw up their hands in defeat and cede to our wishes. 

Even better, let's all just ignore DST Let the government do whatever they want with their clocks, and we'll all just keep ours on the same time year round. Sure, we'll all be an hour late for work eight months out of the year, but that's a small price to pay to keep our internal clocks regulated.

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