Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Time Lapse

This is a couple days late, but who cares. It's that magical time of year when I'm forced against my will to get up at 4:30 AM and pretend it's 5:30 AM.

Daylight Savings Time. How I loathe it.

Why the hell do we still do this to ourselves? Ask five different people, and you'll get five completely different answers. "It's so farmers will have more time to... milk crops or plant cows or something!" "It started in WWI, or maybe WWIII, as a way to save electricity somehow!" "It's so kids won't have to go to school in the dark. Or maybe so they don't come home in the dark, I dunno." "Ben Franklin invented it when he wasn't screwing French whores!" Nobody knows!

For the first thirty seven years of my life I lived in a part of the country that didn't recognize DST. We were on the same time all year round, and it was wonderfulThe ground didn't crack open and swallow the city whole, we were never visited by seven plagues and dogs and cats didn't begin living together. We happily went about our business while the rest of the country used more power, crashed their cars into one another and hanged themselves. The only minor downside of not recognizing DST is that our TV shows started at 7PM in the spring, and 8PM in the fall.

If only that were the case where I live now.

I'm sorely tempted to just completely ignore DST, and just go on with my life as usual. In fact I wish we'd ALL simply ignore it. Sure, we'll all be an hour late six months out of the year, but so what? What's the government going to do about it? They can't stop us. Let the lawmakers go ahead and pretend it's 4:30 AM, while we all get another precious hour of sleep. 

They can't stop us. There're too many of us. If we all stick together and ignore it, eventually they'll have to stop it. They can't punish us all. What are they gonna do, take away our health insurance? Oh, wait...

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