Ghosts Of Christmas Past

Hey, Christmas is almost here! That means it's almost over too! Huzzah!

Please note that I'm not some kind of Scrooge who hates the Yuletide season, I just hate what it's become. I can do without all the frenzy and shopping and spending money you don't have and family drama and all that.

But I digress.

Here's a compilation of some of my personal favorite Christmas bloggings from the past few years.

Don't have a lot of money to spend on gifts this year? Don't be embarrassed! Just print, cut out and hang this special Economic Meltdown Christmas Gift gift tag on your presents, and your friends and family will be so impressed they won't notice the chintziness of your gifts!

Do you love Christmas Carols? Me neither! Here are a few of my least favorites:

• Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
My all time least favorite carol. If this grim, dirge-like tune doesn't make you feel like sticking a shotgun in your mouth during the holiday season, nothing will.

• Baby It's Cold Outside
A cheerful Yuletide duet that's an ode to date rape!

• Santa Baby
Ah, nothing says "Christmas" like this salute to greed, capitalism and whoring yourself for high-ticket gift items.

Think some of our American Christmas traditions are weird? You ain't seen nothing yet!

• No Spanish Nativity scene is complete without El Caganer, a charming figure of a little man taking a huge dump.

• Kids in Spain (again with the Spain) love the Tio De Nadal, a hollow anthropomorphic log that they beat with sticks until it craps out gifts. No, that wasn't one long typo.

Happy Holidays!