This week's episode of Legends Of Tomorrow is a loving tribute to zombie movies, featuring a ton of references to the most beloved examples of the genre.
It's also something of an exercise in frustration. Last week the Legends spent the whole episode trying to get a hold of the Chalice Of Dionysus, which would grant them all "immortality for a day," and allow them to use the Loom Of Fate. This week circumstances prevent them from returning to their ship, causing their immortality to run out and making the entire previous episode completely moot!
I assume this was done to drag out the Loom storyline another week, but as I said, I found it very frustrating and disappointing. Fortunately there was plenty of fun zombie action to make up for it.
With just two episodes to go in the season, this episode is Legends Of Tomorrow's version of The Empire Strikes Back. It features our heroes at their lowest point, right before they regroup, conquer the villains and save the day.
The writers continue to push the Constantine/Zari 2.0 pairing, taking their relationship to the inevitable next level in this episode. Once again, I'm not a fan of this combo. The two of them have little or nothing in common, and very little chemistry, in my opinion. I'll be glad when this little story arc plays itself out and mercifully ends.
One pairing I DID approve of in this episode was that of Gary and Imaginary Gideon! If The CW was smart, they'd pull the plug on Batwoman and give these two their own spinoff! I'd definitely watch it!
Lastly, (um, SPOILER ALERT, I GUESS) there are quite a number of unexpected deaths in this episode. I'm assuming the writers expected us to be shocked and stunned by these brutal casualties, and sob uncontrollably as we did at the end of Avengers: Endgame.
Sadly, that's not the case here. The deaths in this episode made me feel little or nothing. At all. That's most likely because by the end, EVERY ONE OF THE LEGENDS (except for Charlie) dies a horrible death. Since it's unlikely they're gonna change the name of the show to LEGEND Of Tomorrow or The Charlie Show, it's a good bet that they'll all get better and return in the season finale. Nice try, writers, but your attempt to shock and sadden us didn't work.
SPOILERS!
The Plot:
Picking up right where we left off last week, the Legends (except for Zari 2.0) have all become "immortal for a day." Zari 2.0 sets a timer on her phone, saying they now have 24 hours to use the Loom Of Fate and resurrect Behrad, Astra's mom and restore White Canary's eyesight.
The Legends exit Constantine's
Cut to the Waverider, where Gary's tending his rabbit, Gary Junior II. He asks Gideon to fabricate some carrots, but she tells him she's been compromised right before her voice cuts out. He hears footsteps and sees Astra walking through the corridors with Lachesis and Atropos. As we saw last week, Lachesis called in her favor to Astra, forcing her to work with the two Fates.
Back at the house, Canary tries to contact Gideon, but there's no answer. The Legends all assume Astra stole the ship, but Constantine defends her, saying she wouldn't do something like that. Charlie fears her sisters are involved somehow. Sharpe takes Canary's hand to reassure her, causing her to have one of her future visions. It's apparently a bad one, as Canary quickly draws away. Sharpe asks what she saw, but Canary brushes it off, saying the immortality potion is short-circuiting her powers.
Sharpe says the Time Bureau had safe houses all over the world, and there's one in London. All they have to do is get to the city, enter the safe house, find the stash of Time Couriers inside and teleport back to the ship.
Cut to the Legends waiting at a bus stop. Zari 2.0 checks her phone and notes that it's either 275 miles or kilometers to London. Eventually a bus arrives, but the driver won't let them on unless they pay. Heat Wave grabs the driver and throws him out, and the Legends steal the bus. Our heroes, ladies and gentlemen!
On the Waverider, Atropos doesn't trust Astra and wants to kill her. Astra tells her to go ahead and try, as she's immortal after drinking from the Chalice. She agrees to use the Loom with Lachesis and Atropos, but says she has some demands— she wants prunes to disappear, dogs to remain puppies forever and her mother brought back from the dead. Lachesis tells Atropos to run along while she and Astra discuss her list.
After they leave, Atropos picks up her Loom Ring and walks to a globe in the Study. She mutters an ancient Greek spell, and we see England turn black on the globe. That can't be good!
Back on the bus, Canary tells Sharpe she should captain this mission. Sharpe isn't sure, but Canary tells her the Legends need her right now. Zari 2.0 looks at the timer and frets. Steel assures her they'll be able to use the Loom in time. Heat Wave's driving the bus, and suddenly sees a woman in the road. He slams on the brakes too late and hits her.
The Legends get out of the bus and see the woman lying dead in the road. Suddenly she gets up and charges at them! Heat Wave punches the zombie in the face, and Charlie says this is the work of her sister Atropos, who'll do anything to stop them.
More zombies appear and attack. Constantine braces himself for a fight, but they run right past him. He realizes they're ignoring him because he's a damned soul. A zombie attacks Zari 2.0, but Constantine saves her by frying its head with Hellfire. The rest of the Legends fight the horde, eventually "killing" them all.
On the Waverider, Gary tries to get Gideon back online. He plugs in a cable and manages to electrocute himself. When he comes to, he sees Gideon— in physical form— standing over him. She says he needs to hide the Loom Rings from Astra and the Fates before they use them.
Elsewhere, Heat Wave looks at the bus' engine and says it was somehow damaged in the zombie attack, and will take hours to fix. Constantine says he knows someone in the area who may have a car they can borrow. He and Zari 2.0 take off on foot to find them.
On the ship, Lachesis manipulates Astra, asking her why she wants to bring her poor dead mother back to life. She shows her a vision of the future, in which an older Astra's sobbing at her dying mother's bedside. Astra shocked, and asks why she'd show her such a thing. Lachesis says human life is nothing but pain and heartache, and bringing her mother back will only be postponing the inevitable.
Constantine and Zari 2.0 walk down the dark and deserted road. He tells her Behrad may be doomed to die in any timeline, and bringing him back might not be possible. She angrily tells him to go to Hell, and he says he's already been there. She hisses that she's getting her brother back, no matter what.
On the ship, Atropos' chilling out in the Study, right next to the Rings. Gideon distracts her long enough for Gary to sneak in and take the three Rings.
Back at the bus, the Legends hear trucks approaching. They run out to flag them down, and see it's a military convoy. The soldiers spot the Legends' bloody clothing (from their fight with the zombies) and assume they're infected as well. Sharpe says that's ridiculous as she walks toward the soldiers. Suddenly one shoots her in the head!
Sharpe collapses to the ground, seemingly dead. A few seconds later she stands up as the bullet's pushed out of her forehead. The terrified soldiers then assume they're super-zombies who can talk, and take the Legends captive.
On the Waverider, Atropos returns to the Study and sees the Rings are gone. She informs Lachesis, who says there must be someone else on the ship. Astra looks down and sees a chunk of carrot, and says she knows who it is.
In the Medlab, Gary shows Gideon that he got the Rings. She says next they need to find a Time Courier and bring the Legends back to the ship.
Zari 2.0 and Constantine make it to his friend's junkyard, but it looks deserted. He sees an old chip truck they can borrow. They enter the garage and Zari 2.0 finds the keys to the truck, but the zombies surround the garage, trapping them inside.
Constantine tells Zari 2.0 that the zombies won't attack him, but she's another matter. He says he can cast a spell to stop her heart, which will make her "invisible" to the zombies. He warns her it's dangerous, but she tells him to do it anyway.
Meanwhile, the Legends are locked in the back of an army truck on its way to a military base. Heat Wave says trucks like this always have a weak spot, and tells Steel to armor up and punch the door. He does so, and the door pops open. They ask what they're supposed to do now, as the truck's barreling down the road at high speed. He tells them to jump as he shoves Steel out the back.
The Legends all jump out of the speeding truck, getting injured and mangled in the process. After a few seconds their immortality kicks in and they're good as new. They see they're now only 80 miles from London.
Constantine casts his spell and stops Zari 2.0's heart. He then opens the garage door and slowly carries her through the horde of zombies. Fortunately, they completely ignore them both. He puts her in the back of the chip truck and casts a spell to revive her, but nothing happens. Panicking, he starts CPR on her. Suddenly she gasps and comes back to life. The zombies hear her, and run toward the van. Constantine slams the door shut, starts up the van and they roar off.
Gary and Gideon run to the Lab and find a Time Courier. Before he can use it though, Astra and the Fates arrive. Atropos tells him to hand over the Rings or she'll skin him alive. He yells to Gideon for help, but she tells him she can't, as— to no one's surprise— her physical form has been a figment of his imagination all along. She encourages him not to give in. Gary holds out the Rings, and makes them disappear with a simple obfuscation spell. Atropos pokes his neck with her bone knife and demands to know where the Rings have gone.
The Legends are walking along the road when they hear a vehicle approach. Constantine and Zari 2.0 pull up and tell the gang to get it. They finally make it to London, only to find the city eerily dark and empty. They arrive at the
Sharpe finds a note saying there's been a zombie apocalypse, and the post is abandoned. She shrugs and digs a Time Courier out of the cash register. Of course it's dead, so they'll have to wait till it recharges.
Zari 2.0 retreats to another room to sulk. Constantine enters and she says it feels like the Fates are against them. He tells her doom & gloom don't suit her, and she says he has a savior complex. He counters by accusing her of being shallow. They begin arguing and of course at one point stop and kiss. Oy.
On the Waverider, Astra straps Gary to a table and prepares to torture him till he gives her the Rings. Gary reminds her she joined the Legends out of hope, and she says that was a mistake— as was wanting her mother back. She says Lachesis opened her eyes and she can't handle losing her mother a second time. Gary asks if Lachesis showed her all the good times she'd have with her mother before she dies.
Constantine & Zari 2.0 join the others, having obviously had sex. The Legends then discuss what they would have done if they'd been able to use the Loom Of Fate. They then make a toast to dreaming.
Sharpe senses Canary's keeping something from her, and demands to know what. Canary says there's nothing wrong with her powers, and that she saw their future. She says the Time Courier doesn't recharge before the zombies break in, and she dies trying to save the team. That's why she wanted Sharpe to take point on this mission— to get the Legends used to following her.
Right on cue, the pub's surrounded by zombies who try to break in. Zari 2.0 announces that their immortality has officially run out. The Legends struggle to barricade the door.
Back on the ship, Astra shares a memory of her mother with Gary. She makes a decision, then grabs a Time Courier and tells him to show her how to use it. Unfortunately Atropos comes in, says Astra's immortality is gone and hurls a bone knife into her chest. Astra falls dead to the floor (!), and Atropos demands that Gary give her the Rings.
In the pub, the Legends try to hold off the zombies till the Courier charges. They break in, and Canary tells Sharpe she'll hold them off as long as she can. She jumps up on a pool table and begins fighting the zombies with a pool cue. The other Legends join the epic battle, each using their various powers.
Unfortunately Canary's overrun and the zombies swarm on top of her. Sharpe screams in anguish as she watches her die. Just then the Courier reaches full charge. She grabs it and tosses it to Charlie, telling to get back to the ship and stop her sisters. Charlie opens a portal and looks back as each of the Legends is killed. She jumps through onto the ship.
Charlie finds Gary in the Medlab and frees him. He tells her what happened and makes the Rings reappear. Right on cue, Lachesis and Atropos enter the Lab. Atropos stabs Gary in the heart and kills him. Lachesis tells Charlie she came back just in time. Charlie says she's done running, and it's time to get to work.
Thoughts:
• Methinks the writers are mixing genres with this week's title. Obviously it's based on the book (and film) I Am Legend, but that story dealt with an invasion of vampire-like creatures, not zombies.
In last week's episode, the Legends ladies started up their own sorority at Hudson University. Charlie and Zari 2.0 found an abandoned house they could use, but the interior was a wreck. Ever the resourceful one, Charlie used a Time Courier to open a portal in the doorway of the sorority house, which led to the interior of Constantine's manor in England.
In other words, the outside of the house was in Central City, while the inside was in Great Britain.
In this episode, Sharpe exits the manor and walks out onto the front stoop. She should be standing outside the house in Central City, but instead sees she's inexplicably still in England. Apparently at some point the portal leading back to America quit working.
OK, here's the nitpick. Oddly enough, there's a sign on the door that reads, "Join Delta Chi Sigma 2020." Wait a minute! That shouldn't be possible! Remember, the outside of the house is still back in America. ITS door is the one that should have the Delta sign stuck to it! The exterior of the manor was never visible to anyone in Central City. Whoops!
Told you it was heavy duty!
• As I said in the plot description, this episode picks up right where Freaks And Geeks left off. In fact according to Zari 2.0's phone time, it begins just fifteen minutes after that episode. Lita played a prominent role in that story— so where'd she go this week? I guess she took a cab home between episodes while we weren't looking?
• I mentioned this last week, but it's worth a repeat. Once they drink from the Chalice Of Dionysus, the Legends keep saying they're now "immortal for a day." Yeah, that doesn't make any sense, and I can't tell if it's a deliberate joke or the writers just don't know the definition of "immortal." I think they mean "invulnerable for a day."
• So the Legends are now "immortal" for twenty four hours, but discover they're stuck in England and can't make it back to their ship to use the Loom Of Fate.
Gosh, if only they had a team member who was able to, oh, I don't know, CAST TELEPORTATION SPELLS!!!! Jesus Christ! If Constantine can teleport travel to Hell and back whenever he gets the notion, why the f*ck can't he transport the Legends back to the Waverider?
And before anyone "actuallys" me and says teleporation spells require special powders and ingredients and are extremely difficult to perform, might I remind you that in The Great British Fake Off, Gary Freakin' Green was able to easily transport himself, Sharpe and Heat Wave to Hell and back!
If GARY can do that, then how hard would it have been for Constantine to open some doorway onto the ship?
That's one of the problems with having a character with magical powers. There're usually no well-defined, concrete limits to their abilities, so their power level tends to fluctuate based on the needs of the script. In other words, they can do anything they need to until the writers decide they can't.
• Did we skip an episode this week?
In Romeo V. Juliet: Dawn Of Justness, the writers planted the seeds of a Constantine/Zari 2.0 romance. Then they began officially falling for one another in The Great British Fake Off. Last week in Freaks And Geeks, Zari 2.0 was still flirting with Constantine, telling him "she bites" as she took a long, hard leer at his butt.
In other words, the outside of the house was in Central City, while the inside was in Great Britain.
In this episode, Sharpe exits the manor and walks out onto the front stoop. She should be standing outside the house in Central City, but instead sees she's inexplicably still in England. Apparently at some point the portal leading back to America quit working.
OK, here's the nitpick. Oddly enough, there's a sign on the door that reads, "Join Delta Chi Sigma 2020." Wait a minute! That shouldn't be possible! Remember, the outside of the house is still back in America. ITS door is the one that should have the Delta sign stuck to it! The exterior of the manor was never visible to anyone in Central City. Whoops!
Told you it was heavy duty!
• I mentioned this last week, but it's worth a repeat. Once they drink from the Chalice Of Dionysus, the Legends keep saying they're now "immortal for a day." Yeah, that doesn't make any sense, and I can't tell if it's a deliberate joke or the writers just don't know the definition of "immortal." I think they mean "invulnerable for a day."
• So the Legends are now "immortal" for twenty four hours, but discover they're stuck in England and can't make it back to their ship to use the Loom Of Fate.
Gosh, if only they had a team member who was able to, oh, I don't know, CAST TELEPORTATION SPELLS!!!! Jesus Christ! If Constantine can teleport travel to Hell and back whenever he gets the notion, why the f*ck can't he transport the Legends back to the Waverider?
And before anyone "actuallys" me and says teleporation spells require special powders and ingredients and are extremely difficult to perform, might I remind you that in The Great British Fake Off, Gary Freakin' Green was able to easily transport himself, Sharpe and Heat Wave to Hell and back!
If GARY can do that, then how hard would it have been for Constantine to open some doorway onto the ship?
That's one of the problems with having a character with magical powers. There're usually no well-defined, concrete limits to their abilities, so their power level tends to fluctuate based on the needs of the script. In other words, they can do anything they need to until the writers decide they can't.
• Did we skip an episode this week?
In Romeo V. Juliet: Dawn Of Justness, the writers planted the seeds of a Constantine/Zari 2.0 romance. Then they began officially falling for one another in The Great British Fake Off. Last week in Freaks And Geeks, Zari 2.0 was still flirting with Constantine, telling him "she bites" as she took a long, hard leer at his butt.
Annnnnnd then suddenly in this episode the two of them can't stand one another for some reason. In fact Zari 2.0's openly hostile toward Constantine for most of the episode (until they realize their true feelings for one another in the third act).
So what happened here? Did they have a major falling out in the fifteen minutes between this episode and the previous one? Does Zari 2.0 worried about Behrad and is taking it out on Constantine? Or did the writers forget what they already established in previous episodes?
• Gary returns to the Waverider to take care of his rabbit, Gary Junior II. Note that all through the episode, Gary Junior II makes "squeaking" noises no rabbit on Earth has ever made.
• When the Legends realize their stuck in England, they decide to make their way to a Time Bureau safe house in London. We then see them waiting impatiently at a bus stop. Zari 2.0 checks her phone and says it's "275.8 to London." When Steel asks if that's miles or kilometers, Canary says it doesn't matter as either way it's far.
• When the Legends realize their stuck in England, they decide to make their way to a Time Bureau safe house in London. We then see them waiting impatiently at a bus stop. Zari 2.0 checks her phone and says it's "275.8 to London." When Steel asks if that's miles or kilometers, Canary says it doesn't matter as either way it's far.
Actually it DOES matter! 275 miles is, well, 275 miles. But 275 kilometers is only 170 miles! Still far, but not nearly as bad as if the distance is in miles!
• A bus finally stops for the Legends, but the driver won't let them on without any money. So they decide to steal the bus. When Heat Wave throws the driver out, note that he utters the Wilhelm Scream as he flies through the air.
Yeah, it's way past time that sound effect was retired. It was fun the first 75,000 times I heard it, but now it's become cringeworthy.
• During the bus ride, Canary says that Sharpe should take command on this mission. Sharpe disagrees, saying that she and Canary are "co-captains for life."
Who thought THAT was a good idea? Every time they said it in the episode, all I could think of was Oscar's quote from The Office.• As the Legends make their way to London, Atropos puts on her Loom Ring and summons a zombie invasion to stop them. Fortunately the team uses their various powers and makes quick work of the zombies.
• Check out the expression on Constantine's face as he realizes the zombies aren't interested in him because he's damned. He almost looks like he's disappointed!
• After the zombie fight, the Legends discover the bus won't start. Heat Wave looks under the hood and says, "Well, the engine's busted after the fight, and the fuel pump's got no power."
So how the heck did that happen? No one— Legend or zombie— ever got anywhere near the bus' engine during the fight. The only thing I can come up with is the engine got damaged when Heat Wave hit the zombie standing in the middle of the road.
• Back on the ship, Gary tries to repair Gideon and rescue the Legends. Unfortunately he electrocutes himself, and when he wakes up he sees Gideon physically standing before him.
It's always a highlight whenever Gideon appears on the show in human form. Amy Pemberton is just so damn hot! Can I say that? Am I allowed to say that here in 2020? And man, does she have an awesome voice! It sounds even better when it's not being electronically filtered as it usually is.
I wish someone on the team would create a Gideon hologram, so she could take human form and walk around the ship each week— ala the Doctor on Star Trek: Voyager or Rommie on Andromeda.
• Gary and Imaginary Gideon made for a great team! Who knew we'd ever get the chance to see the two of them team up for a mission? They were wonderful together!
Gary: "We should have our own spin-off!"
(He begins singing in a deep, heavy metal voice.)
Gary: "Gideon and Gary, having adventures! Solving problems and saving the world!"
Gideon: "Brilliant song, Gary! You must teach it to me once you've managed to wrestle control of the Waverider from those pesky sisters."
I agree with Gary— they should have their own spinoff! I'd watch the hell out of that!
• I loved the scene in which the Legends are mistaken for "super zombies." In particular I liked Sharpe's resurrection, as she wobbles to her feet and moans in the most undead way possible. Actress Jess McCallen is actually pretty funny— too bad she doesn't get to use her comedy chops more often on the show.
Lachesis: "Astra, dear, we have been very patient with you, especially considering you betrayed us without saying a word."
Astra: "You betrayed me first. Besides, I had to take my destiny into my own hands and try to bring my mother back myself."
Lachesis: "And I appreciate your gumption, but I'm afraid you don't fully grasp what that means."
Astra: "Right now my mother is dead. I would like her to be alive. Fairly simple concept."
Lachesis: "But as you know, life as a human is very difficult. If you insist on having a normal life with your mother, you will be bound to the rules of nature, which are not kind to humans. See for yourself."
(She shows Astra a vision of her mother dying in a hospital bed.)
Astra: "Why would you show me that?"
Lachesis: "Because that is what is going to happen if you bring your mother back. Life as a human is a life of pain and suffering. Constantine promised to bring your mother back as if it would solve all your problems, but what he didn't tell you was you're just postponing the inevitable. Why bring your mother back only to lose her all over again?"
See? She's pure evil!
• I Am Legend is a veritable love letter to zombie movies, and features a butt-ton of references to various films of the genre. Here are all the ones I spotted (and I'm sure there're a few I missed):
Not gonna lie— now I definitely wanna see Heat Wave and Constantine show up on The Walking Dead! What an awesome crossover that would be!
• I loved the zombie who tried to bite Steel in his armored form— complete with "clinking" sound effects as it tried to bite his metal arm.
• After the zombie fight, the Legends discover the bus won't start. Heat Wave looks under the hood and says, "Well, the engine's busted after the fight, and the fuel pump's got no power."
So how the heck did that happen? No one— Legend or zombie— ever got anywhere near the bus' engine during the fight. The only thing I can come up with is the engine got damaged when Heat Wave hit the zombie standing in the middle of the road.
It's always a highlight whenever Gideon appears on the show in human form. Amy Pemberton is just so damn hot! Can I say that? Am I allowed to say that here in 2020? And man, does she have an awesome voice! It sounds even better when it's not being electronically filtered as it usually is.
I wish someone on the team would create a Gideon hologram, so she could take human form and walk around the ship each week— ala the Doctor on Star Trek: Voyager or Rommie on Andromeda.
Gary: "We should have our own spin-off!"
(He begins singing in a deep, heavy metal voice.)
Gary: "Gideon and Gary, having adventures! Solving problems and saving the world!"
Gideon: "Brilliant song, Gary! You must teach it to me once you've managed to wrestle control of the Waverider from those pesky sisters."
I agree with Gary— they should have their own spinoff! I'd watch the hell out of that!
• Funniest part of the episode: When Zari 2.0 uses her wind power to kill a zombie, and her gag reflex kicks in as she sees what she's done!
• So Constantine casts a spell to stop Zari 2.0's heart so he can carry her through a horde of zombies to the chip truck. Once he gets her in the back of the truck, he tries to start up her heart again.
Can anyone explain to me why the holy frak he DIDN'T CLOSE THE GODDAMNED DOOR OF THE TRUCK BEFORE HE STARTED CASTING THE COUNTER-SPELL? Jesus Christ! I get that time was of the essence here, and he had to act fast before Zari 2.0 died for good. But how long would it have taken to close the door? A second?
Of course because he doesn't close the door, the zombies hear him and start sprinting toward the truck.
• Jesus Christ, how far did Constantine and Zari 2.0 walk, anyway?
OK, stay with me here. The Legends steal a bus and head for London. After a while the bus breaks down, so Constantine and Zari 2.0 take off on foot— in the general direction of London— to find alternate transportation. While they're gone, an army convoy captures the rest of the Legends. They throw them in the back of their truck and take off at high speed for their HQ— which is also in the general direction of London. After a time the Legends jump out of the moving truck. Moments later, Constantine and Zari 2.0— now traveling back the way they came— pull up in their chip truck and rescue the Legends.
OK, we don't know how long the Legends were in the army truck or how far it carried them. It looked like it was flying along at a good 50 to 60 mph. Even if they were only in the truck for fifteen minutes, they'd have traveled 15 miles. Did Constantine and Zari 2.0 really walk that far in less than an hour?
• When Constantine pulls up to the Legends in the chip truck, Zari 2.0 leans out and yells, "Get in losers, we're going Looming!"
That's a reference to the movie Mean Girls (of all things), in which Regina says, "Get in loser, we're going shopping!"
• Man, Lachesis gives Wormtongue (of The Lord Of The Rings fame) a run for his money in the manipulation department. Just listen to her mealy-mouthed, conniving conversation with Astra:
Astra: "You betrayed me first. Besides, I had to take my destiny into my own hands and try to bring my mother back myself."
Lachesis: "And I appreciate your gumption, but I'm afraid you don't fully grasp what that means."
Astra: "Right now my mother is dead. I would like her to be alive. Fairly simple concept."
Lachesis: "But as you know, life as a human is very difficult. If you insist on having a normal life with your mother, you will be bound to the rules of nature, which are not kind to humans. See for yourself."
(She shows Astra a vision of her mother dying in a hospital bed.)
Astra: "Why would you show me that?"
Lachesis: "Because that is what is going to happen if you bring your mother back. Life as a human is a life of pain and suffering. Constantine promised to bring your mother back as if it would solve all your problems, but what he didn't tell you was you're just postponing the inevitable. Why bring your mother back only to lose her all over again?"
See? She's pure evil!
• I Am Legend is a veritable love letter to zombie movies, and features a butt-ton of references to various films of the genre. Here are all the ones I spotted (and I'm sure there're a few I missed):
— The fast-running zombies with the veiny faces are likely a reference to the undead in 28 Days Later and its sequel.
The zombie Constantine passes is obviously a nod to Romero, as it's wearing his trademark vest and giant glasses!
— The entire third act of the episode is practically a shot-for-shot remake of the pub battle at the end of Shaun Of The Dead.
The Legends make it to the Time Bureau safe house in London, which is disguised as a pub. Unfortunately the place is immediately surrounded by a massive horde of zombies, who eventually burst through the windows and force their way inside. The Legends then make their last stand against the zombies. That's pretty much exactly how the end of Shaun plays out!
At one poing Sharpe and Charlie leap over the bar to escape the zombies, just like Shaun and Liz did in Shaun Of The Dead.
And Sharpe's perpetually loaded shotgun is no doubt a Winchester, just like the one Shaun used (and which is the source of the pub's name in the movie).
Canary even jumps up on a pool table and distracts the zombies' attention away from the others, much like Shaun did when they were first entering the pub. The only thing missing is a necktie tied around her head and Don't Stop Me Now blaring on the soundtrack. No doubt The CW couldn't afford the music rights!
That's all the zombie movie references I spotted. As I said, it's entirely likely I missed some!
• At the pub, tensions between Constantine and Zari 2.0 come to a boil. They get into a bitter argument, as each belittles and disparages the other's personality traits. Of course this bickering leads to a kiss, and the two end up screwing like rabbits.
Jesus wept.
This is typical sitcom fodder, straight out of shows like Cheers. I'd be incredibly surprised to find out that anything like this EVER happened even once in real life. Usually when two people argue and resort to name-calling, they kind of, oh, what's the word... HATE one another. And hatred rarely leads to sexual tension, as the two individuals tend to avoid one another after their spat.
Did the zombies dog pile on him and crush him with their weight? Did they smother him till he suffocated? Heat him to 1370° and watch him melt?
His death makes zero sense here. Of them all, he's the only one guaranteed to survive the zombie battle.
• A couple weeks ago in Ship Broken, we finally got a closeup of the three Rings Of Fate, and saw that each featured a different symbol relating to its owner.
The only one I could clearly make out was the Ring Of Lachesis, which had a hand clutching a coin engraved on its face (which made sense, since she was initially known as the Coin Maker). Unfortunately at the time I wasn't able to make out the symbols on the other two.
That's the Ring Of Lachesis in the center. The one on the right is the Ring Of Atropos. For some reason its symbol appears to be a pair of tongs? Or maybe they're some kind of cutting blades. That'd make sense, since she's the Fate who cuts the life threads of everyone.
• By the way, when Atropos demands Gary hand over the Rings, he says, "Yeah, I may have been electrocuted by Gideon's mainframe, but I could still do a simple obfuscation spell." He then passes his hand over the Rings and makes them disappear. Atropos stares in amazement at this, and seems completely bamboozled by his little trick.
• By the way, when Atropos demands Gary hand over the Rings, he says, "Yeah, I may have been electrocuted by Gideon's mainframe, but I could still do a simple obfuscation spell." He then passes his hand over the Rings and makes them disappear. Atropos stares in amazement at this, and seems completely bamboozled by his little trick.
But... obfuscation just means "to make obscure or unclear." To me that implies that Gary didn't teleport the Rings somewhere, he just made them invisible. In fact they're probably still in his hand! Too bad Atropos didn't realize that, as she could have just grabbed 'em out of his hand even if she couldn't see them.
• This Week's Best Lines:
Canary: "I think it's the Chalice. It's probably messing with my powers."
Heat Wave: "So what, so now you're just blind?"
Zari 2.0: "That's not helpful."
Steel: "Come on, that's insensitive."
Lachesis: (to Astra) "Thank you for delivering this lovely timeship. And Atropos, thank you for shutting off that aggravating talking computer. She thought she was so witty."
Astra: "Fine, I'll join you, but I have some demands."
Lachesis: "Demands, really?"
Astra: "Yeah. Now I've experienced life on Earth again, some things have gotta change, like prunes. Disgusting. I want them gone. And dogs? They should stay puppies forever. Oh, and there's just one more thing. I want to bring my mother back to life."
Atropos: "Let's kill her."
Zari 2.0: "Look around. The sky hasn't fallen, the world is still here, and for whatever reason, the cabal of mystical seamstresses hasn't started spinning yet, which means we still have time to stop them."
(An army convoy approaches the Legends.)Soldier: "Stay where you are!"
Soldier 2: "They've got blood on their clothes. They might be infected."
Canary: "But... No. No, it's not."
Sharpe: "No, no, no, we're not infected."
(A soldier shoots Sharpe in the middle of her forehead, and she collapses on the ground.)
Canary: "Ava!"
(Sharpe comes back to life as her immortality kicks in. She struggles to her feet, moaning much like a zombie as the bullet pops out of her head.)
Sharpe: Oh. Ow! Ow!"
Soldier 2: "My God. These zombies can withstand headshots."
Heat Wave: "Since when do zombies talk, you idiot?"
Soldier 2: "Super-zombies who have become sentient. Round them up and take them back to base camp!"
(Constantine and Zari 2.0 approach the junkyard.)
Zari 2.0: "How'd you hear about this place?"
Constantine: "Well, back in the day, Old Man Joe called me about a demon-possessed '75 Fiat. It was a right messy exorcism. And a right crappy car."
Sharpe: "And let's try to get creative and think about what resources we have. Okay. Look, we've got a guy who turns into steel. We've got a shapeshifter, right? That's fricking amazing. We've got a kickass blind assassin. And a reformed thief turned romance novelist."
Heat Wave: "Who you calling reformed?"
• This Week's Best Lines:
Canary: "I think it's the Chalice. It's probably messing with my powers."
Heat Wave: "So what, so now you're just blind?"
Zari 2.0: "That's not helpful."
Steel: "Come on, that's insensitive."
Lachesis: (to Astra) "Thank you for delivering this lovely timeship. And Atropos, thank you for shutting off that aggravating talking computer. She thought she was so witty."
Astra: "Fine, I'll join you, but I have some demands."
Lachesis: "Demands, really?"
Astra: "Yeah. Now I've experienced life on Earth again, some things have gotta change, like prunes. Disgusting. I want them gone. And dogs? They should stay puppies forever. Oh, and there's just one more thing. I want to bring my mother back to life."
Atropos: "Let's kill her."
Zari 2.0: "Look around. The sky hasn't fallen, the world is still here, and for whatever reason, the cabal of mystical seamstresses hasn't started spinning yet, which means we still have time to stop them."
(An army convoy approaches the Legends.)Soldier: "Stay where you are!"
Soldier 2: "They've got blood on their clothes. They might be infected."
Canary: "But... No. No, it's not."
Sharpe: "No, no, no, we're not infected."
(A soldier shoots Sharpe in the middle of her forehead, and she collapses on the ground.)
Canary: "Ava!"
(Sharpe comes back to life as her immortality kicks in. She struggles to her feet, moaning much like a zombie as the bullet pops out of her head.)
Sharpe: Oh. Ow! Ow!"
Soldier 2: "My God. These zombies can withstand headshots."
Heat Wave: "Since when do zombies talk, you idiot?"
Soldier 2: "Super-zombies who have become sentient. Round them up and take them back to base camp!"
(Constantine and Zari 2.0 approach the junkyard.)
Zari 2.0: "How'd you hear about this place?"
Constantine: "Well, back in the day, Old Man Joe called me about a demon-possessed '75 Fiat. It was a right messy exorcism. And a right crappy car."
Sharpe: "And let's try to get creative and think about what resources we have. Okay. Look, we've got a guy who turns into steel. We've got a shapeshifter, right? That's fricking amazing. We've got a kickass blind assassin. And a reformed thief turned romance novelist."
Heat Wave: "Who you calling reformed?"
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