What Happened To The Art Of Movie Poster Design: Paradise City And 80 For Brady

There was a time when theater lobbies across the land were filled with exciting movie posters featuring top notch illustrations. Sadly, that time is long past. These days the cineplex walls are littered with poorly Photoshopped one sheets that wouldn't be accepted in an introductory design class.

Case in point: this poster for the recent John Travolta & Bruce Willis vehicle Paradise City.

Holy cow! That's some quality Photoshop work there! I love how the "designer" brazenly took two separate images of the stars taken under wildly different lightning conditions, then merged 'em together and expected us to believe they were standing together. Seamless!

Plus I will bet my house and its entire contents that that ain't Travolta's body underneath his giant bobblehead.

Ah, but somehow it gets even worse! Check out Travolta's gun-totin' right hand, which has clearly been Photoshopped in. How do I know that? Because if you look very closely, you can actually see the original hand underneath it, buttoning his blazer! They didn't even paint it out before replacing it!

Sadly, Paradise City's being billed as Bruce Willis' final movie, as his health has forced him to retire from acting. How unfortunate he had to go out on a regrettable note like this.

Next up is this poster for 80 For Brady, a new comedy about four lifelong friends and fans of football player Tom Brady, who travel to Texas to watch him play in Superbowl LI in 2017.

For years now I've lamented the fact that we never get illustrated posters like the ones painted by the incomparable Drew Struzan. 

Welp, looks like my prayers have finally been answered. By the time they got done touching up the gals in this poster, it's ceased to be a photograph and became 95% pure, unadulterated painting!

OK, there's no shame in growing old (I've been doing it myself lately), but Jesus Christ! NONE of these women have looked anything like this in decades. Especially Jane Fonda! She's currently 85, but looks like she's barely into her forties here. Same goes for Rita Moreno, who's 92, but looks a youthful 60 here. Their faces have been airbrushed and smoothed nearly into oblivion, to the point where they're practically unrecognizable. The only one who looks halfway natural is Sally Field, who's the kid of the group at 76.

And once again, NONE of these four women were anywhere near one another when their photos were taken. And I'll eat a bag of bees if anyone can prove that's actually Lily Tomlin's body under her massive noggin!