This week the government busybodies at the CDC (otherwise known as the Center For Disease Control) issued a series of pamphlets telling poultry farmers how to run their businesses.
The pamphlets were released in response to several Salmonella outbreaks across the country, prompting the government to stick their nose into everyone's grills and pass yet more unnecessary laws.
Among the CDC's unwanted and unasked for advice: Don't kill your chickens.
Are you freakin' kidding me? I can't believe this. First I can't smoke in public, then I can't drink when I'm pregnant, then I can't talk or text while I'm driving, and now this! The nerve of these law-making meddlers. I'm sorry, I thought this was America, not the Lao People's Democratic Republic. Just one more instance of our Socialist Government-Gone-Wild, introducing excessive laws and intruding into the lives of innocent citizens.
Next they'll be telling me I can't let my chickens live in my hou... what's that? GODDAMN IT! They've actually passed a law saying I can't keep my chickens in my house. That tears it. I'm moving to someplace sane, like Venezuela.
Here's the actual text from the CDC's brochure:
Advice to Backyard Flock Owners
Contact with live poultry and their environment can make people sick with Salmonella infections. Live poultry can be carrying Salmonella bacteria but appear healthy and clean and show no signs of illness. Follow these simple tips for protecting yourself and others while enjoying backyard poultry:
• Wash your hands thoroughly with soap and water right after touching live poultry or anything in the area where they live and roam. Adults should supervise hand washing for young children.
• If soap and water are not readily available, use hand sanitizer until you are able to wash your hands thoroughly with soap and water.
• Do not snuggle or kiss the birds, touch your mouth, or eat or drink around live poultry.
• Do not let live poultry inside the house, in bathrooms, or especially in areas where food or drink is prepared, served, or stored, such as kitchens, or outdoor patios.
• Children younger than 5 years, adults older than 65, and people with weakened immune systems should not handle or touch chicks, ducklings, or other live poultry. People in these groups are more likely to have a severe illness from Salmonella infection.
• Stay outdoors when cleaning any equipment or materials used to raise or care for live poultry, such as cages or feed or water containers.
• These recommendations are important and apply to all live poultry regardless of the age of the birds or where they were purchased.
I have a feeling this is going to backfire on the Government. You know the old saying— When kissing chickens is outlawed, only outlaws will kiss chickens.