Thursday, July 9, 2015

Tales From The Video Store: Partial Nudity

Unlike the majority of the world, I don't go in for all this convenient video-on-demand and FlixNet nonsense. Nosiree! Give me an old fashioned, inconvenient Video Store any day! The farther away from my house the better! You just never know what you're gonna find— or overhear— when you browse the Video Store!

This Tale From The Video Store is 100% true.

I was in my local Family Video store a couple of weeks ago, and overheard a family trying to choose a movie. They consisted of a grandmother, a mother and her at least twenty five year old son. I cannot emphasize the man's age enough. He was a full grown adult male.

The son was peering intently at the back of a DVD case. Suddenly he turned to his mother and asked her a question:
Junior: "Ma, what does P-A-R-T-I-A-L mean?" 
Mother: "Partial. That means a little bit."
Junior: "Oh, OK. Then this movie has par-shull nudity in it!" 
Mother (clucking her tongue in disgust, along with the grandmother): Oh, we don't want to watch that kind of show." 
Junior: "No, Ma, it's not a dirty pitcher, it just means there's a little bit, like maybe there's a scene in a locker room and someone walks by in a towel. So can I get it? Huh? Can I get it? Ma? Can I? Ma, you're not listening! Listen to me! Can I get it?"
There's no hope for this country.

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