Monday, July 13, 2015

Worst. Parents. Ever!

Welp, the first trailer for the upcoming Batman V Superman is out. To borrow from the Bard, it's full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

I know it's bad form to criticize a movie before it even comes out, but I hate these DC films with the white hot passion of a thousand blazing suns, so I'm doing it anyway.


First, some background. Back in 2013's Man Of Steel, we were introduced to a Pa Kent a little different from previous versions. A Pa who was strangely unconcerned with the welfare of others:


Holy crap, Pa! The super-strong, invulnerable Space Jesus you call your son just saved a school bus full of kids from drowning, and you yell at him for doing so, suggesting he should have just "let nature take its course?"

I'm starting to understand why Hopeman was able to so casually snap Zod's neck at the end of the movie.

Not to be outdone, in Batman V Superman, it looks like Ma Kent's getting in on the act as well. Here she is giving her son some more dubious advice:

Wow.

Awesome advice, Ma Kent! You do realize that this planet is Superman's adopted home now, right? He owes EVERYTHING to this world! His planet exploded, for frak's sake! The Earth literally welcomed him into its open arms and saved his life. God forbid he should lift a finger to save it. He should just sit back and watch as it's ravaged by natural disasters and aliens. I'm sure everything will work out alright without him. In fact, he should take from his adopted homeland. Take and take and take as much as he wants and never give a single thing back. That's the American Way these days, right?

You know, any second I expect Ma Kent's face plate to pop off, revealing she and Pa Kent are both androids being controlled by Lex Luthor. At least then there'd be a good reason for the horrible, horrible parenting advice they've given to their walking nuclear bomb of a son.

Worst. Parents. Ever!

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