It's The Most Bacony Time Of The Year

This morning I staggered bleary-eyed out into the kitchen to fix breakfast. I opened the refrigerator, reached in and pulled out this:

A box of delicious, pre-cooked, artery-hardening bacon. America's favorite food, sent to Earth from the gods above.

I stood there a few moments trying to wake up, and noticed something different on the package.

Yep. That's a gift tag pre-printed there on the box. Apparently Oscar Meyer is under the impression that bacon is an acceptable Xmas gift.

Welp, my gift-giving problems are over! I know what everyone on my list is getting for Xmas this year! Thanks, Oscar Meyer!

As odd as it sounds, this is actually nothing new. For decades now cigarette companies have printed printed gift tags on their festively decorated cartons. That's former president Ronald Reagan there above, sending out coffin nails (and lung disease) to all the smokers on hislist. It's the gift that keeps on giving, right up until the end!