This Is Why Your MuuMuu Doesn't Fit: Burger King's Bacon Sundae

Just in time for swimsuit season, Burger King proudly announces their brand new Bacon Sundae!

You heard me, I said bacon sundae. It's vanilla ice cream in a cup, drizzled with chocolate syrup and impregnated with real bacon bits. And for good measure, it's got a crisp slice of bacon protruding jauntily from one side.

All I have to say it's about time! We landed on the moon in 1969! Why are we just now able to buy ice cream and bacon in the same cup? This is just the thing our country needs to perk us up in these times of economic uncertainty and woe. Sure, by some estimates a whopping 68% of Americans are considered overweight, but c'mon, one little cup of baconated ice cream isn't going to kill you.

The Bacon Sundae clocks in at a modest 510 calories, which is only a fourth of the recommended daily caloric intake for adult humans. No worries at all as long as you remember to skip breakfast and lunch and munch on a bowl of watercress for dinner.

Of course the Burger King Bacon Sundae isn't the fast food industry's first foray into the world of dairy and pork crossover desserts. Back in February rival chain Jack In The Box unveiled its Bacon Shake.

Unlike the Bacon Sundae though, the Bacon Shake doesn't actually contain any bacon. Instead it's made with vanilla ice cream, whipped cream, a maraschino cherry and a special "bacon-flavored syrup." 

Despite the fact that there's no bacon to be found within its frothy depths, it weighs in at 773 calories for the 16 ounce size, and only 1,081 calories for the 24 ouncer. Again, that might sound excessive at first glance, but as long as you eschew any other food intake for the rest of the week, you should be just fine.

So hoist yourself up onto your Rascal™ scooter, make sure its got a full battery charge and zip on down to your local fast food establishment and try a fine dairy and pork dessert beverage today!