Monday, February 18, 2013

Bosses From The Eighth Circle Of Hell: Ear Drops

Throughout my career I've prided myself on working hard, performing what's asked of me to the best of my ability and being an all-around good employee. I've also done my best to get along with my various bosses.

Alas, sometimes that's just not possible. Sometimes you end up with a Boss From The Eighth Circle Of Hell.

Back in the 1990s I worked at a marketing agency for a rather colorful Boss.


Every now and then the Boss would come into the graphic designer's room with a bottle of ear drops in his hand and suddenly lay his head down on the desk of a startled and unwitting employee. He would then plaintively bleat, "Will you put these drops in my ear for me?"

Yeah. That happened. 

I could almost understand if it had been eye drops. I myself have a lot of trouble getting eye drops to actually go into my eye. I always manage to blink at the last second and end up with the medicine running down my face like I've been crying for an hour. But ear drops? What the hell's so hard about putting in ear drops? Last time I checked your ears don't blink or involuntarily snap shut.

Please note that he never pulled this stunt on me, thank Thor, nor any other male in the department. He only tried this with the women of the office. Most of them would shrink away from him in revulsion and run to the ladies room, but one or two of them actually put the drops in his ear for him. The only reason this Boss' antics didn't cause us all to have to sit in the conference room watching sexual harassment videos every week is because we didn't have a human resource department at that place.

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