It all started last week when a customer visited a New Jersey Hobby Lobby and asked an employee if they carried bar mitzvah cards. Why she'd go to Hobby Lobby for such a thing, I have no idea. Has she never been there before? They might as well call the place Goy Warehouse, amirite?
Anyhoo, instead of saying something like, "I'm very sorry ma'am, but we don't carry that item," the helpful Hobby Lobby employee was all, "Beat it, Jew!"
OK, so it wasn't quite that bad. The helpful employee went all Star Wars Bartender on the woman and said, "We don't cater to you people." Now that I see it written out like that, I think "Beat it, Jew" wasn't so bad after all.
You know, Hobby Lobby, you're well within your rights to decide what you will and will not sell in your stores. If you don't want to sell Jewish trinkets, well then that's your call and it doesn't infringe on anyone's inalienable rights in the least. But maybe tone down all the "you people" talk, OK?
Of course the story spread like wildfire across the interwebs, as stories of appalled outrage over minor incidents always do. Why can't people get fired up like this about things that matter? Like, oh I don't know, the nimrods in Washington shutting down the country? But I digest.
The story spread all the way to Hobby Lobby's home office in the imaginatively named Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, where the head of public relations fell all over himself, saying:
Due to overwhelming demand in the Northeast, we are pleased to announce that we will begin offering Jewish holiday items in a number of stores to test the market in New York and New Jersey.Translation: "Jews are the ones with all the money, right? Money they could be spending in our stores if we stocked their fancy Jew candle holders, Arks of the Convenants, beads and incense or whatever the hell they use."
So for all of you residents of New York and New Jersey, soon you'll be able to buy your Passover and Hanukkah decorations at your local Hobby Lobby.
Personally I can't wait. I want to see 'em start putting up their menorah and dreidel displays in May and Passover decorations in January. Hanukkah Creep, anyone?