Tuesday, June 3, 2014

You Are Like A Hurricane

Regular readers of Bob Canada's BlogWorld know that for years now I've been taking the National Hurricane Center to task for the ridiculous names they give to storms. 

I posited that people are less likely to listen to the Center's warnings and evacuate their homes when they're told that Hurricane Timmy is bearing down on them. I suggested people would have a healthier fear of the storms if they had names like Annihilator and Destruktorr.

Welp, it looks like I was right. And this time science is there to back me up! And you thought all this blog was good for was amateur movie reviews and extreme nitpicking.

Researchers at the University of Illinois recently studied six decades worth of storm data, and determined that hurricanes with female names are more deadly, because the public perceives them as less threatening than those with male names, and therefore take fewer precautions to protect themselves.

They suggested that simply changing a hurricane's name from Charley to Sally could triple its death rate. Triple! 

See? I was totally right about this (minus the gender bias, that is). Can you imagine anyone ever dashing down the street, shrieking, "Run for your lives! Hurricane Cindy is coming!"

So please, National Hurricane Center, I'm begging you. Stop giving hurricanes such weak and fuzzy names. Give them monikers that strike fear and dread into those in the paths of the storms. Ominous, fearful, and-- dare I say it-- manly names, that no one can afford to disregard.

In the interest of public safety, I once again offer my list of suitably ominous Hurricane Names. You're welcome.

· Annihilator
· Blastarr
· Crusher
· Destruktorr
· Exterminus
· Fearasaurus Death
· Ginormitron
· Hellsender
· Implosionator
· Jackal-gnashor
· Killotronn
· Lay-waste-acuss
· Maimakuss
· Neutralizorr
· Oblitoratorr
· Pillaguss
· Ransackulon
· Slaughteratorr
· Terminatus
· Vandalon
· Wreckkorr

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