Monday, November 2, 2020


If you have an Ollie's Bargain Outlet in your neck of the woods, by all means, run, don't walk there STAT! Ollie's is currently selling this deluxe 2020 Battle For The White House chess set!

This item is sure to become a highly sought-after collectible that'll be treasured by the entire family. Because if there's one thing trump supporters love more than anything, it's a stimulating game of chess!

Just look at the fine craftsmanship of these handcrafted pewter plastic pieces! Marvel at the microscopic detail in trump's tiny hand, as he makes his favorite "I'm Pulling An Endless Magic Handkerchief From My Pocket" gesture.

Note the sardonic smile on trump's archenemy "Sleepy Joe" Biden, as he collapses helplessly into a chair... wait, what? Why's trump's chess piece standing behind a podium, while Biden's sitting down? Now that I look more closely, why's the trump piece a king, while Biden appears to be a rook? What kind of bullsh*t is that?

In fact if you look at the box, it appears the Democratic king piece is an empty podium! What the hell, Ollie's?

Actually now that I think about it, this cherished heirloom was probably slapped together and rushed into stores well before the Democratic National Convention, so they had no idea who'd end up opposing the orange one.

Still, I think it's pretty obvious that whoever created this set has a closet full of MAGA hats. How else to explain the fact that the Nancy Pelosi chess piece is riding an ass?

And damn that Ruth Bader Ginsburg for up and dying and ruining the accuracy of this set!

Anyway, hurry to Ollie's today, before this valuable piece of merch becomes completely irrelevant!

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