Friday, April 26, 2024


OK, it's a little late, but I wanted to post about the big eclipse that happened back on April 8.


I've seen a handful of eclipses in my time, but this was the first 100% total one I've ever experienced. It was amazing! I totally get the hype about them now.

My hometown was lucky enough to be right in the path of 100% totality this time, meaning we'd get about three minutes of darkness. 

I had to work on the day of the eclipse, but took a few minutes off to watch (as did most everyone in the building). It began around 12:50 pm here, as the sun (seen through my protective specs) started looking increasingly Pac Man-like.

Note the crescent-shaped beams of light that filtered through the leaves during the eclipse! They perfectly mimicked how the sun looked at that particular stage. Cool!

As always happens during an eclipse, everything just looked... odd. Like it was evening, but the sun was directly overhead instead of touching the horizon. And as happened during the previous eclipse back in 2017, I was amazed how even a microscopic sliver of the sun was still bright enough to light everything. It's incredible just how bright and powerful our little star is.

Everything got increasingly dim, and then we reached totality at about 2:00. It was actually a bit darker than seen in these photos. The sky didn't get pitch black, but did get pretty dark, as the parking lot lights switched on and we even saw a few stars come out!

As the eclipse reached totality, we we able to take off our protective glasses and gaze at it with our naked eyes. It was an awe inspiring sight, and I can honestly say I've never seen anything remotely like it. You don't often see a black star with a white ring around it! It was the most sci-fi looking thing imaginable, but it was real!

During totality, we all noticed a bright little point of light at the bottom of the sun— almost like a small lens flare. Everyone was wondering what it could be, and I guessed it was likely a solar flare.

Turns out that's exactly what it was! Well, more accurately it was a solar prominencebasically a huge belch of matter ejected from the massive exploding ball of gas that constantly hangs over our heads.

Thing is, you could fit about ten Earths into that seemingly tiny little loop there! We tend to forget just how enormous our sun really is.

I don't think anyone expected that to happen during the eclipse, so it was an extra added little bonus for everyone watching!

I said this during the 2017 eclipse, but it's worth a repeat. All my life I've read that ancient civilizations would freak out during eclipses, as they believed the sun was burning out or being eaten by a giant sky snake or something.

I'm starting to wonder how much of that is actually true, and how much is myth?

Think about it— ancient people generally had a pretty good understanding of the sky. Far better than the average citizen does today! They kind of had to, as they kept track of the planets and stars to determine when to plant their crops, when the rainy season started and so on. So they probably understood that every now and then the moon would cover up the sun for a little bit.

Even if they were ignorant of eclipses, they don't last all that long. Four minutes, tops. That doesn't really seem like enough time for an entire ancient civilization to start panicking. Seems like people would think, "What the...? It's noon and it's getting dark out already? OH MY GOD, THAT CAN ONLY MEAN A GIANT SKY SNAKE IS DEVOURING THE SU... Oh, it's back. Carry on, everyone!"

Catch The Fever!

As long-time readers of Bob Canada's BlogWorld (all six of you) know, I am NOT a sports fan. So it's no surprise that I just now found out that my home state of Indiana has a WNBA basketball team called the "Fever." 

Probably not the best name for a team in this post-Covid world. They were founded years before the pandemic though (in 1999), so I'll cut 'em a break there.

I was curious as to what such a team's logo could possibly look like. I was hoping for a woman with an icepack on her head and a thermometer sticking out of her mouth. So I was disappointed to see their logo was just their name in the standard old sports team font. Feh.

They do have a wacky costumed mascot though, named "Freddy Fever." Unfortunately he's pretty disappointing too, as he's just some sort of vaguely Muppet-like thing. Odd that a female team would have a male mascot too. Someone needs fired over that gaffe!

Hit The Skids

This is likely the most unfortunately named GI Joe figure ever made...

I don't even wanna know what his talent/specialty was. GO JOE!

In this case, NOT knowing is half the battle!

Thursday, April 25, 2024

Flash Vanishes In Crisis!

Today's the day, Flash fans! The long-awaited day when the Scarlet Speedster goes missing! Well, kind of...

As fans of The Flash TV show (The CW version) know all too well, this ominous newspaper headline was teased in the very first episode, which aired way back on October 7, 2014.

In the final moments of that episode, Barry Allen's kindly wheelchair-bound mentor Dr. Harrison wells enters a secret room inside STAR Labs. He then stands up (SPOILERS FOR A TEN YEAR OLD EPISODE) and activates a projector that displays a newspaper dated April 25, 2024. The headline reads "FLASH MISSING— VANISHES IN CRISIS." Gasp!

Obviously the headline and reference to red skies were a nod to the Crisis On Infinite Earths comic miniseries, published by DC in 1986. Fans instantly began obsessing over this plot point, wondering if we'd see a version of Crisis on the series, and what it meant for Barry. Would he suffer the same fate as his comic book counterpart, or find a way to change his destiny?

Unfortunately all this went out the window in Season 6, when Eric Wallace became showrunner of the series. Wallace reportedly didn't feel like dealing with any pre-existing storylines that he didn't originate. Wow, talk about hubris!

To that end, he dispatched with resolved the "FLASH VANISHES IN CRISIS" plot in the quickest, stupidest and least satisfying way possible— four years before it should have happened.

How'd he do this? Welp, during Crisis On Infinite Earths: Part Three, Barry and his teammates discover the evil Anti-Monitor's antimatter cannon, which is destroying the Multiverse. It's powered by the Earth-90 Flash, who's running on a cosmic treadmill connected to the cannon. Barry figures out he can destroy the cannon by running fast enough to overload the treadmill, but he'll die in the process. He realizes this moment is what the newspaper headline was all about.

But then at the last minute the Earth-90 Flash steals Barry's speed and sacrifices himself, destroying the antimatter cannon. Because you see, the newspaper headline just said "FLASH VANISHES IN CRISIS." It didn't say which Flash. Cue sound of falling slide whistle.

When I saw this drivel I honestly wanted to reach through the TV and punch Eric Wallace in the throat.

Anyway, enjoy the day the Flash SHOULD have vanished, even though the wrong one did four years earlier.

This Can't Be Good

I was oot & aboot recently, and saw this ominous billboard along the ironically-named Lloyd "Expressway" here in my hometown.

This is the first time in my life I've ever seen a billboard warning motorists of highway construction! That can't be good, right? I mean if they're actually ADVERTISING it, there's gonna be a hundred times more orange barrels lining the road.

Are You OK, Zack Snyder?

I think someone needs to check on Zack Snyder and see if he's OK...

If you'll recall, Snyder was the hack, er, film auteur who gave us the abysmal Man Of Steel— a grim, gritty and dismal take on the Superman mythos, in which the beloved hero went around snapping the necks of his enemies. 

It was also one of the most... Freudian movies I've ever seen, as it featured these "space capsules" that looked shocking like gigantic black dildos. Giant flying black dildos.

Look at those things! They're positively X-rated! They couldn't look more like giant penises if they tried! They even have foreskins! I can't believe that no one on the set took a look at those things and said, "Maybe we should go with a different design here."

The Kryptonian architecture is just as phallic, as the El family compound looks suspiciously like the tip of an enormous dick, complete with pee hole.

The interiors were just as bad, as the doorways are decidedly vaginal.

How the hell was this movie not rated NC-17?

This pornographic theme continues in Snyder's latest sci-fi opus, Rebel Moon. This thinly-disguised Star Wars ripoff, er, homage begins with a shot of a wormhole opening in deep space, as a ship thrusts through the opening.

Take a good look at that rift there. Yep, that's a giant space vag.

Can't wait for the twin planets that look like tiddies, an asteroid that suggests a pair of testicles, or a white hole that spews white hot plasma all over an ass-shaped planet.

Jaysis, it's like a horny fourteen year old boy somehow got a gig directing big budget studio films!
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