Saturday, August 31, 2013

Yet Another Thing Star Trek (Unfortunately) Predicted

It's amazing how much of the technology of the various Star Trek series has already come to pass in our time. Cell phones, computer tablets, hyposprays, transparent aluminum, VISORS... the list goes on and on. Heck, scientists even recently announced they may have figured out a way to build a warp drive!

But not all of the advancements the show predicted were good things. Some of them were detrimental and downright annoying. Here's a case in point.

Romulan Commander Sela captures Spock, Captain Picard and Data. She then invites them to her office so she can boast about her master plan before she kills them.



See? Even in the 24th Century people will still act like clueless assholes who diddle around with their smart phones and think their time is more valuable than yours! Star Trek predicted it way back in 1991!

* Editor's note: Bob may have done a little bit of creative editing here for comedic effect, but the scene really did play out like this. 

Thursday, August 29, 2013

It Came From The Cineplex: Kick-Ass 2

Kick-Ass 2 is of course a sequel to 2010's Kick-Ass. It was written and directed by Jeff Wadlow and produced by Matthew Vaughn, who wrote the first film.

Based more or less on the Hit-Girl and Kick-Ass 2 comic books. Believe it or not, as violent as the film is, much of it was toned down from the source material (especially regarding The Motherf•cker's graphic rape of Kick-Ass' girlfriend Katie).

Many critics have denounced the film's ultra-violent tone and misogyny. Umm… you guys do realize you went to see a film called Kick-Ass 2, right? It's about vigilantes taking the law into their own hands and the consequences of said actions? Did you think you were going to see a movie about blue elves in white hats?

Similarly, Jim Carrey caused a controversy in July when he piped up and announced that due to the Sandy Hook Elementary School shootings he was withdrawing his support from the film. He stated, "I'm not ashamed of it but recent events have caused a change in my heart."

He's certainly entitled to his own opinion, but why did he feel the need to publicly and loudly distance himself from it? Couldn't he have just privately declined to endorse the film? If I was just a little more cynical I'd say I smell a publicity stunt.

During the film Chris D'Amico becomes an inept super villain who tastefully christens himself "The Motherf•cker." I can't wait to see what they do about that when the movie eventually shows up on regular TV. No doubt he'll be called "The Melon Farmer."

The film has underperformed at the box office, grossing just $22 million against a $28 million budget. I think the poor performance may be due to audience fatigue. It's the end of summer and people are just worn out by all these big blockbusters batting them about the head every weekend.

At my showing the entire audience (except me of course) bolted like sprinters from the theater the second the end credits began. Well guess what, goobers? You missed an after-credits scene depicting the fate of a major character! Why do people do this? Why does everyone always flee from the building like it's about to explode as soon as the credits begin? Tiny bladders? Because they've been off their phones for two hours and can't bear it a second more?


The Plot:
Dave Lizewski, the costumed crime fighter known as Kick-Ass, asks his friend and ally Hit-Girl to train him. She initially agrees, but quits when her guardian Marcus forces her to give up crime-fighting. 

Kick-Ass then teams up with a team of likeminded crime fighters called Justice Forever. Meanwhile, Chris D'Amico (formerly the Red Mist) vows revenge on Kick-Ass for killing his father. He becomes the super villain known as The Motherf•cker.

The Motherf•cker begins destroying everything in Kick-Ass' life, including his father. This event draws Hit-Girl out of retirement and she and Kick-Ass, along with hundreds of other costumed crime fighters, take on The Motherf•cker and his army.

• Chloe Grace Moretz as Hit Girl continues to impress. Christopher Mintz-Plasse also does a decent job as the super villain The Motherf•cker. In fact most of the large cast does a bang-up job (see what I did there?) with the exception for Aaron Taylor-Johnson (Jesus, does anyone in this movie have just two names?). His Kick-Ass character is surprisingly bland. 

As often happens in superhero movies, the main character is about as interesting and colorful as spent dish water.

• The film opens with Hit-Girl training Kick-Ass by shooting him in the chest while he's wearing a bulletproof vest. This scene is virtually identical to one in the first film in which Hit-Girl's father Big Daddy shoots her in the chest as a training exercise.

• I never in a million years thought I'd ever say this, but I missed the presence of Nicholas Cage in this movie. His portrayal of Big Daddy was one of the highlights of the original film.

• I really liked the Mother Russia character; she was absolutely terrifying and practically stole the show. I wonder if it was intentional that she looked very much like Dolph Lundgren in Rocky IV? Her hairstyle is almost identical to that of Ivan Drago.

Now that I think about it, the Russian Jaeger pilots in Pacific Rim both had Drago-like hair as well. Did Rocky IV make Hollywood think everyone in Russia is a platinum blonde?

• Sick of the evil high school bitches tormenting her, Hit Girl gets revenge by poking them with a "sick stick" that makes them projectile vomit and poop at the same time. Please tell me a sick stick is a real thing and where can I buy one?

• Kick-Ass joins a team of like-minded vigilantes called Justice Forever. One of the members is code-named Battle Guy. It's patently obvious to everyone in the audience that Battle Guy is really Kick-Ass' best friend Marty. Yet despite the fact that he's sitting next to him, Kick-Ass remains blissfully unaware of this fact. Only when Battle Guy speaks does Kick-Ass recognize him as Marty. 

I'm assuming this was done as a dig at the age old comic convention of wearing a small mask or glasses to hide your identity? Because if not, then Kick-Ass has had one too many blows to the head. 

• The leader of Justice Forever is Colonel Stars And Stripes (just Colonel Stars in the comic), a reformed gangster and born-again Christian. After Kick-Ass joins the team, the Colonel takes them out on their first mission-- shutting down a human-trafficking ring.

The Colonel's tactics deserve some scrutiny here. He takes a group of what are basically cosplayers (with little or no training) into a deadly search and destroy mission against criminals with real weapons. Cheezus! 

Apparently it never occurred to him to train his team in strategy and procedure before throwing them head first into the fray. Fortunately his team survives without any casualties.

• Where the hell are the police in this city? The various heroes and villains alike commit numerous misdemeanors and felonies at will with absolutely no consequences. 

Late in the film the police finally start rounding up anyone in a mask, but most of them immediately bail out and the cops promptly disappear again, starting the whole cycle anew.

• Midway through the film we see Kick-Ass at home with his father. His dad is doing some simple exercises while he watches TV. 

Later the police come to Kick-Ass' house to arrest him. Not wanting his son to go to jail, Dad tells the police that he's really the superhero.

There's no way in hell that anyone with at least one eye could possibly think that the doughy Dad character could possibly be the much shorter and much more fit Kick-Ass. I'm assuming they added the dad's little exercise scene in order to try and explain this, but it failed miserably. 

• The Motherf•cker's Uncle Ralph, his sole remaining relative, summons him to prison for a chat. Uncle Ralph is played by Iain Glenn (Ser Jorah Mormant of Game Of Thrones), because it only makes sense to hire a Scots actor to play a Jersey mob boss.

• Telegraphing Scenes 101: At the end of the film there's an epic battle between Kick-Ass and The Motherf•cker. Did anyone NOT think The Motherf•cker was going to end up falling into the shark tank?

A decent (if overly violent) sequel that adequately juggles a much larger cast and escalates the storyline. I give it a B-.

Why Do They Call Them Comics: B.C.

Today's B.C. comic defies all rational attempts at explanation. Decades from now learned scholars will still be angrily debating one another as to the meaning of this particular strip.

They will fail.

It Came From The Video Store: ATM

ATM is a 2012 horror film directed by David Brooks. 

This movie is an example of what I've dubbed "Abandonment Horror," in which characters become trapped in a confined space, surrounded by certain death with no chance of escape (see Frozen, a film in which three skiers are stranded on a ski lift and surrounded by wolves, for another example of this sub-genre). 

The movie was written by Chris Sparling, who also wrote the screenplay for Buried, another sample of Abandonment Horror. Unfortunately ATM is far inferior to Buried, indicating that it may be time for Sparling to move on to another genre.

I get what the filmmakers were going for here; trying to instill a sense of menace, isolation and hopelessness inherent in urban life. They made a valiant attempt but ultimately this is a story that just can't work.


The Plot:
At his company's Christmas party, accountant David Hargrove finally summons the courage to speak to his beautiful coworker Emily Brandt. David offers to drive Emily home, but is coerced into bringing along obnoxious third wheel Corey Thompson (David needs to learn how to say no).

While driving through town, Corey forces David to stop at an ATM booth for money. Because David's an idiot, he "punishes" Corey by parking several hundred feet away from the deserted ATM and making him walk up to it.

Corey has trouble operating the machine so David and Emily, tired of waiting in the cold, enter the ATM to help. As they leave they're confronted by a mysterious figure wearing a hooded parka blocking their way. Afraid to exit, they remain inside the ATM booth, unsure of what to do.

Parka Man sees a passerby and savagely kills him. The three then realize they're trapped inside the small ATM booth, unable to leave lest they be attacked and killed as well. Parka Man then spends the rest of the night toying with and tormenting his captors.

• This is one of those films whose plot is so outrageously contrived that it can only work if all the characters act like complete and utter morons. If any of the characters had even once acted like a normal human being, even for a second, the entire story would collapse like a house of cards.

If David had told Corey "no" at any point during the Christmas party the movie would have stopped then and there. If David had parked next to the ATM instead of a hundred feet away they'd all have been fine. And if any of the characters had their cell phones on them (which every person on Earth does these days) instead of inexplicably leaving them all in the car, their ordeal would have lasted fifteen minutes at the most (if only).

After ten minutes of their idiocy and incompetence even the most sympathetic audience will start rooting for Parka Man.

• Once the characters are trapped, most viewers will spend the rest of the running time figuring out numerous ways to easily escape the ATM or alert the authorities. 

Case in point: Emily finally gets the bright idea to start a fire in a wastebasket to set off the sprinkler system, which will bring the fire department running. Unfortunately she doesn't think of this until six or seven hours into their ordeal. Most rational humans would have done this after five or ten minutes.

• The filmmakers practically pull a hamstring trying to make Parka Man into a new horror icon. He's got most of the requirements for the job: He's faceless, silent, superhumanly strong, able to rig elaborate (and impossible) traps and as a bonus he's got his own secret subterranean lair in which he can plan his improbable murder sprees.

Despite all that, it's unlikely that Parka Man will be joining Freddy, Michael, Leatherface and Jigsaw in the Slasher Pantheon.

• The location of the ATM booth deserves some scrutiny. Imagine an unlit parking lot that's a hundred square acres. Got it? Good. Now imagine there's a lone ATM booth plopped down in the exact center of this vast, dark empty space. 

Why the hell would they build it in the middle of the lot? Why wouldn't it be, oh I don't know, up by the freakin' street where people could actually see it and have easy access to it? How the hell would you spot it or get to the thing when the parking lot was full of cars?

• At one point Corey decides to make a run for it to get help. He checks to see if Parka Man is outside, doesn't see him and sprints across the parking lot. He almost makes it but at the last second is clothes-lined and incapacitated by a thin, taut, virtually invisible wire that Parka Man has strung across the parking lot.

To what are the ends of this wire attached? As I mentioned earlier, this parking lot is vast, empty and wide. Parka Man would need several hundred feet of wire to stretch across its width. He'd also need to use a freakin' bulldozer to pull a five hundred foot wire taut enough to keep it from sagging in the center and make an effective booby trap. 

• Late in the film Parka Man pins the ATM door shut with David's car. He then drags what appears to be a fire hose (?) over to the ATM and begins filling it with water to drown the characters inside. Apparently Parka Man is a fan of old Warner Bros. cartoons.

When David first sees that the car's pinning the door shut, it's obvious that it can still be opened slightly, maybe six inches or so. Why couldn't he just prop the door open so the booth wouldn't fill with water?

• Part of Parka Man's plan involves targeting David and framing him for all his crimes. At the end of the film when the police finally arrive, they find this planted evidence and arrest David, thinking he's the one responsible for all murder and mayhem. Several things here.

First of all, Emily's death was a freak accident. There's no way Parka Man could have known it was going to happen. So why go to all the trouble of trying to frame David? Emily could have just confirmed David's innocence. I suppose maybe Parka Man was intending to eventually kill her as well and her death was an unexpected bonus for him, but… seems like a stretch to me.

Secondly, things definitely look bad for David at the end (he actually did kill the innocent janitor after all), but surely some of the night's events would cause the police to question his guilt in ALL the events and murders.

For example, why would he disable the engine in his own car? How could he have blocked the door with his own (dead) car and get back inside the ATM? Why would he flood the ATM and then wait inside it to drown? Why would he let Emily write "HELP" on the window if he was trying to kill her? How would he have pried open the back door of the ATM (in order to flood it) without tools? Surely there'd be forensic evidence that Corey was killed outside and then dragged back in, which David wouldn't have done if he was the killer. 

If David gets a decent lawyer he could probably plea bargain his case down to manslaughter at the most.

• This has nothing to do with the storyline, but on the DVD extras, the film crew is quite proud of the fact that they built a special working ATM booth just for the film. 

Wow, you guys built a fifteen by twenty foot glass shelter with a door and lights inside it? That is impressive. I bet no one's ever built anything that large or complicated for a film before. Not even for Titanic.

A valiant effort at urban claustrophobia that unfortunately can't and doesn't work. I give it a D+.

This "Literally" Makes My Head Spin

A couple of weeks ago it was announced that Webster's Dictionary, the Macmillian Dictionary, the Cambridge Dictionary and Google have all altered their definition of the word "literally."

The word used to mean "actually" or "exactly." Now in addition to that definition it also means "virtually or figuratively."

*Editor's Note: That was the sound of Bob's world-weary soul escaping through his mouth.

This is no doubt in response to the vast amount of cretins who insist on saying things like, "It was so hot outside that I literally melted." Obviously they mean this figuratively, but are using "literally" for exaggerated emphasis. Or perhaps they're just simpletons who don't understand how to properly speak their own language.

Many will no doubt shrug at this and say, "Languages evolve. Deal with it." This is true. If they didn't we'd all still be saying thee, thou and forsooth. 

It's a given that words change their meaning over time. "Awful" used to mean "full of awe." "Basement" once meant "toilet." And "cute" used to mean "shrewd." 

But this isn't evolution. This is devolution. It's making things worse, not better. This isn't an instance of a word evolving a secondary definition, this is a case of it suddenly meaning the precise opposite, while still retaining its original meaning. Gosh, that won't be the least bit confusing.

This is pure and simple laziness by the people who speak like this; mouth-breathers who text while walking down the street and fall into open manholes or fountains and then try to sue the city.

What's even more appalling is that dictionaries that are actually sanctioning it! What's next? "Go" means proceed and stop? "Dangerous" means safe and deadly?

The world just got a little more stupid today. Literally.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Out Of Context Star Trek Moment

I've been an avid Star Trek fan for many decades, but even I have to admit that certain episodes could get a little silly now and then, especially when viewed out of context.

So sit back and enjoy this Out Of Context Moment!

Funny how Lt. Commander Data's face always did this every time Geordi used the microwave oven...

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

It Came From The Video Store: The Tower

The Tower is a 2012 disaster movie from South Korea, of all places. It's very heavily inspired by 1974's The Towering Inferno. In fact it's pretty much a remake. But it's a darn good remake.

Oddly enough The Towering Inferno was based on two very similar novels, one called The Tower and the other The Glass Inferno. Confused yet?

The Tower has everything a good disaster movie needs: a cross section of cardboard thin characters, each with one defining trait, truckloads of melodrama, deadly situations, far-fetched rescues and lots and lots of explosions. What more could you ask for?

Forget what the cover above says about it being "part Die Hard." I have no idea why it says such a thing. Other than the Christmas Eve setting, the two films have absolutely nothing in common. There are no terrorists or hostage situations anywhere in The Tower, nor any "one man against an army of villains" scenario.

To date the film's grossed over $35 million in South Korea, which may not sound like much to us here in America, but trust me, over there it's huge.


The Plot:
It's Christmas Eve and the brand spankin' new luxury Sky Tower complex (which despite what it looks like in the poster, consists of two towers) is about to open in downtown Seoul. During the big grand opening celebration, a helicopter crashes into one of the towers, igniting a blaze on an upper floor. The fire department is called in but can do little to stop the blaze due to its lofty location. A group of survivors attempts to find a way down to the ground while avoiding flames, explosions and collapsing floors.

Engineers discover that if left unchecked, the flaming tower will collapse and take down the other tower with it. It's decided the burning tower must be imploded to save the complex. Will the survivors make it out before the building collapses?

• The film follows The Towering Inferno template with razor-sharp precision:

• The disaster begins during the grand opening party of the tower.

• The film features a cross section of humanity, from high society dignitaries to blue collar workers.

• Cost-cutting by greedy contractors results in the safety problems.

• An accident starts a fire in one of the towers.

• The fire department is called in, but can do little to stop the blaze due to the building's height.
• The head firefighter teams up with a civilian familiar with the building.

• Panicked guests overwhelm the rescue efforts which leads to disaster. 
• Water tanks are detonated to put out the fire. 
• Several times in the film a deadly serious set piece was immediately followed by near slapstick comedy, which was a little jarring. Most of this over the top humor involved the clumsy young chef & his girlfriend, and the Korean holy rollers (believe it or not there are a lot of Presbyterians in Korea).

I'm chalking this up to a cultural differences. I think it's just the way South Korean movies (and Asian movies in general) work.

• The Sky Tower complex consists of two identical buildings connected by an upper floor skybridge. So why's the movie called The Tower? Wouldn't The Towers be more apt? Maybe something got lost in translation.

• The Tower features some jaw-droppingly realistic and impressive CGI effects. I admit I'm not very familiar with the Seoul skyline, so I just assumed the twin Sky Towers were actual buildings. I was shocked to learn they were completely computer generated (with a few model shots thrown in here and there)!

The film opens with a helicopter shot of the twin Sky Towers and as the camera flies around the buildings, the surrounding city is reflected in every single window. They even got all the little imperfections in the glass right! Everything looked completely real. Kudos to the effects team!

• Amazingly the film was made for the equivalent of $9.3 million dollars. It looks like it cost at least ten times that. I guess money goes farther in South Korea?

• Near the end of the film it's determined that the burning tower has to be imploded in order to save the other one. The implosion scenes were eerily similar to the images of 9/11 seared into every American's brain.

I'm sure there'll be some viewers out there who'll cry "Too soon!" but I don't think the filmmakers meant to sully the memory of 9/11. Thanks to that day every American is all too aware of how a skyscraper looks when it collapses, and the effects team was simply copying that look.

• The Tower is easily as good or better than any summer blockbuster churned out by Hollywood this summer. There's no reason it couldn't be shown as is in American theaters. It'll never happen though, as American audiences have no patience with subtitles and Hollywood executives' balls fell off long ago and they're leery about releasing films with no recognizable stars. Look for an American remake any day now!

• Note to my local video store, who taped "WARNING! THIS MOVIE IS DUBBED!" signs on every DVD case of the film: This movie is not dubbed. It is subtitled. C'mon guys, you're a video store! There's no reason you shouldn't know the difference.

The Tower is a slick, action packed popcorn movie that could give Hollywood a run for its money. I give it a B.

Monday, August 26, 2013

That's A Lot Of Gum

I saw this truck sitting in the parking lot of Target over the weekend.

Now that is a lot of Fruit Stripe Gum

I wasn't even aware they even still made Fruit Stripe Gum. I admit I'm not a fervent gum consumer, but it's been years, even decades since I saw any on store shelves. It doesn't seem like anyplace, even a mega retailer like Target, would need an entire semi-truck full of it. A van full, maybe. Heck, a couple of cases sitting in the back seat of a car would probably do.

But maybe I'm wrong; it happens now and then. Maybe citizens out there are asking for, nay demanding, case upon case of fruity gum that loses its flavor after literally five seconds.

Friday, August 23, 2013


The interwebs are positively abuzz today over the news that actor/direct Ben Affleck has signed on to play Batman in the upcoming Man Of Steel 2 film in 2015.

Nerds the world over are positively livid over this news, lighting up message boards as they savagely type out their outrage. Turn down your TV and listen carefully... hear that high-pitched, droning whine? That's the sound of a million angry Batman fans bleating their displeasure.

Personally I couldn't possibly care any less about this news. I didn't much like any of the no-fun Christopher Nolan-directed Batman, er... I mean Dark Knight films, and I hated Man of Steel, so it doesn't affect me in the least. I can barely manage to utter a half-hearted and lethargic "meh" in response to the matter.

I'm much more concerned about this:

In the 2007 film I Am Legend, Will Smith wanders around a deserted, plague-ridden New York City. At one point there's a shot of the empty metropolis and in the background you can clearly see a poster advertising a Superman/Batman crossover movie! Yikes!

If they were right about that, then everything else they predicted in the movie is going to come true as well, right? It's just plain common sense.

Looks like that apocalyptic vampire plague will be starting up any day now!

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Out Of Context Star Trek Moment

I've been an avid Star Trek fan for many decades, but even I have to admit that certain episodes could get a little silly now and then, especially when viewed out of context.

So sit back and enjoy these historical Out Of Context Moments!

This particular episode, The Savage Curtain, is an absolute gold mine of out of context moments. 

"Um... Captain, sensors indicate there's a president dead ahead."

"Gentlemen, permit me to introduce myself. I'm Space Lincoln."

"Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?"

"You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the.. ehh, you know how that one goes!"


"I don't understand, my good Captain. Why are we entering this rounded chamber?"


"Oh sweet Jesus! MO-MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"I don't see why I can't have one of those fancy pistols you're both carrying."

The Poop On The Pope

This week former pope Benedict finally revealed the real reason he resigned as pontiff last February.

When interviewed as to why he became the first pope to step down in over 600 years, Benedict said, "God told me to." 

Hmm. God told me to... God told me to... Why does that sound so familiar?

Oh yeah. Now I remember. 

Who knew the pope was a fan of Larry Cohen's films?

Let the hate mail begin!

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

A Message From Simon Pegg To His Beloved Star Trek Fans

In an interview this week with Simon Pegg, the actor had a heartwarming message for all his fans who thinks Star Trek Into Darkness is the worst movie of the franchise: "F@ck you."

Pegg was disappointed to learn that fans rated the movie last during a recent Star Trek convention in Las Vegas. "It absolutely isn't the worst Star Trek movie," bleated Pegg. "It's asinine, you know? It's ridiculous. And frustrating. To be subject to that level of sort of, like, crass f@cking ire, I just say f@ck you."

Well, Simon, that's certainly food for thought. I never quite looked at it that way before. 

Back in May I was unjustly harsh toward the film, giving it an undeserved C-, calling it "a lackluster, muddled and dumbed-down pastiche of several much better Star Trek films."

But after reading Mr. Pegg's erudite comments on the topic, I've decided to reevaluate my opinion of the movie. And you know what, Simon? You're absolutely right! Your flashy, soulless remake of a sequel to a movie based on a television show is one of the best films of this or any other year! How could I have been so blind? 

The way your film took a fascinating villain like Khan and completely wasted him by making him the puppet of a limp villain who hid behind the scenes is nothing short of brilliant. 

Establishing that the crew can now somehow beam clean across the galaxy, negating the need for starships, including the Enterprise? Unexpected and astonishing! The concept of using Khan's magic blood to cure death, essentially making humanity immortal? Now THAT's boldly going!

Not to mention rehashing Spock's death scene practically word for word, but substituting Kirk for the dying Vulcan. Genius! Sheer genius. 

Yes Simon, your concise, literate argument has completely changed my feelings toward this cinematic jewel. I feel properly chagrined and abashed for ever daring to disagree with your learned opinion. Only a Philistine of the lowest order would think your motion picture is anything but an undisputed classic.

"F@ck you," you say, Mr. Pegg? F@ck me indeed.


For the record, this is the second time this month that a butt-hurt celebrity has publicly lashed out at anyone with the unmitigated gall to suggest their recent films were less than satisfactory. Sorry guys! If it looks like a bomb, smells like a bomb and soils the screen like a bomb, it's gonna get reviewed like a bomb.

Office Mates

Every office has one-- one of those weird guys who walks around mumbling to himself all day.

But what if he's not mumbling to himself? What if he's really talking to someone... or some thing? What if you could see what he sees? 

This was a tough one. Drawing the figures was pretty easy and straightforward, but that background caused me lots of grief. I couldn't decide what to do with it. Should it be just a patch of color? An actual office background? If so, how detailed should it be? Would simple cubicle shapes suggest an office, or did I need to draw desks and chairs as well? How could I keep the figures from blending into the background?

I was just about to give up on the office idea and add a plain old colored rectangle, when I decided to try superimposing a grunge texture over the background. That did it! It deemphasized the background and made the figures pop.

If you look closely you'll see the monster figures are slightly transparent, implying that they may or may not be real.

The Office Mates were drawn in Photoshop on the graphic tablet.

Here's the original sketchbook doodle of the office mates. I drew the little monsters just to fill up space on the page. When I was scanning the drawing into Photoshop, I decided to leave them in and make them part of the drawing. 

And here's the tighter digital sketch I did. Notice that in the sketch his giant third eye had visible lids. As so often happens, things that work in a sketch just don't work in the final version. I tried and tried to get his eyelids to work, and finally gave up and just drew a big lidless eye. I've learned by now that if you're spending hours and hours on something and it's still not working, your drawing is trying to tell you something. Namely, try something else!

Also note that in both sketches the office guy had tentacles coming out of his back. In the interest of full disclosure I actually forgot to draw them in the final illustration. When I finally realized I'd forgotten them, I decided I like the tentacle-less look better, and left it alone.
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