The Flash, Season 9, Episode 13: A New World, Part Four

At long, long last, I finally posted this review! I bet you all thought it was never gonna happen! Me too! I've no excuse for it being literally months late, other than it was so bad I literally had to force myself to write it.

Seriously, watching this one multiple times in order to review it was downright painful. In fact there were times I didn't think I was gonna get through it. You all owe me big time for this one! 

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Welp, this is it! At long last, it's the SERIES FINALE of The Flash! It's taken us nine years, but we're finally here.

So how was it? Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. In case you couldn't tell, that was a transcript of my soul slowly leaking out of my body. Does that answer the question?

A New World, Part Four is a terrible, terrible wrap up to an even more terrible season. It's poorly written, indifferently acted and shoddily directed. The plot, if you can call it that, feels rushed, incoherent and completely disposable. Worst of all, the whole thing's just plain dull, and about as fun to sit through as a Hannah Gadsby "comedy" special.

The plot, such as it is, concerns Eddie Thawne, who's been moping around killing time for the past three episodes. This week he finally springs into action, as he goes full evil, transforms into Cobalt Blue and recruits a team of evil speedsters to help him kill Barry. 

That's actually a pretty cool concept, and one I don't think they've done yet. In fact they should have made this a season-long story arc, as each week Cobalt Blue slowly assembled his nefarious army and went after Team Flash.

Instead, the writers chose to cram it into half of the final episode. What the hell?

Some of the highlights of this horrible, horrible episode: Team Flash somehow defeats and entire squad of evil speedsters in under five minutes. Khione goes full god mode and "ascends," leaving Caitlin in her place— making everyone wonder why the hell she was ever on the show in the first place. And of course Barry defeats Cobalt Blue by talking things out rather than fighting him. Because that's what you want in a superhero show— no superhero action.

As silly as it was, the actual Team Flash/Evil Speedster Battle was definitely the highlight of the episode. Unfortunately they rushed through it as quickly as possible, as if showrunner Eric Wallace couldn't wait to get through it so he could concentrate on his beloved side characters and give them a cringeworthy send-off.

This final episode was typical of the entire season, as the entire thing was a massive dumpster fire, with thirteen smaller dumpster fires blazing away inside it.

We got a pointless Groundhog Day episode, in which Barry & Iris relive the same day over and over. Then there was the dreary Red Death storyline, in which an evil Batwoman from the Multiverse tries to kill Barry, despite never having met him before.

Then we got a series of inconsequential filler episodes, that did nothing but run out the clock till the finale. We got the return of Hazard, a character so minor that even hardcore fans would be hard pressed to remember her. Then they gave us the origin of Dreamer, a character from Supergirl who will absolutely never be seen or heard from again.

The only bright spot of the entire season was the return of Oliver Queen and Bloodwork. Although technically a filler as well, it was hands down the best episode of the season. Too bad they didn't end the series with that one.

And then we dove headfirst into the whole A New World arc, in which they dredged up long-deceased character Eddie Thawne. Unfortunately they it appears brought him back just to shit on him by negating his sacrifice and destroying his legacy.

Jaysis. Even though I'm just a schlub from Indiana, I fully believe I could have come up with a better season than the actual writers did.

One reason that A New World, Part Four may have been so subpar is because actor Grant Gustin contracted Covid during filming, which limited his availability. Supposedly he was scheduled to film a lengthy scene with actor Teddy Sears, who plays Zoom. Sadly, that confrontation had to be scrapped due to the 'rona. 

Fair enough. But why not just postpone filming then till he recovered? Surely they could have aired a couple or reruns till he was better. Maybe it was a contractural thing, I dunno.

The Flash was never a great show, but it was often a good one— especially in its early seasons. So what the hell happened to it? Two words: Eric Wallace became the showrunner. OK, that was five words, but my point still stands.

The first five seasons of the series featured various combinations of Andrew Kreisberg, Aaron Helbing and Todd Helbing as showrunners.

Under their watch they gave us such memorable storylines as Eobard Thawne and his vendetta against the Flash, Barry teaming up with Oliver Queen, the introduction of the Multiverse and many others.

Unfortunately they all left in Season 6, and Eric Wallace became the new showrunner. And thus began The Flash's long, slow decent into mediocrity and downright awfulness.

Wallace was the amazingly talented visionary who gave us the dreary Mirror Master/Mistress/Monarch storyline, along with the nonsensical Four Forces arc (in which a quartet of thirty-somethings consistently refer to Barry & Iris as their parents). He's also responsible for building up the character of Godspeed for literally months, only to completely botch his plotline and turn him into a Power Rangers villain.

He also introduced Allegra Garcia and Chester P. Runk to the show and made them full-fledged regulars. Wallace created Allegra in the comics, so her inclusion here shouldn't come as a surprise. Amazingly, he shoehorned these two into the show as replacements for Harrison Wells and Cisco (no, really!). To say they were pale imitations would be the understatement of the century.

Wallace also gave us mega-douche Chillblaine and actually made him a member of Team Flash. And he pointlessly killed off fan-favorite character Caitlin Snow, only to instantly replace her with a dime store goddess who looked just like her.

Oh, and don't forget his weaponization of the Speed Force, as Barry and various other speedsters learned to create spears, shuriken and even frakin' lightsabers out of their lightning!

There was also the constant overuse of already familiar storylines, such as Barry losing his speed, the Reverse-Flash returning for the umpteenth time and worst of all, Barry defeating his enemies with the Power Of Love.

By far though the most insidious aspect of Wallace's tenure was his bizarre focus on Cecile Horton. For some reason he had a massive boner for the character, and increased her powers each season till she basically became a Jean Grey clone.

Even worse, he swept aside Barry Allen in favor of Cecile, diminishing him till he was little more than a side character in his own series! I cannot emphasize this enough. In fact, toward the end they might as well have renamed the show The Cecile. It was truly, truly strange.

Despite the fact that the show went straight into the crapper in its final seasons, I'm still gonna miss watching it and reviewing it. The end of The Flash also marks the end of the Arrowverse as we know it. Yes, I know, Superman & Lois is still around (for one more season), but it's in its on separate little corner and doesn't have anything to do with the other shows.

It's been a fun ride following the various interconnected shows over the years— especially during the big yearly multi-series crossovers. Alas, all good things come to an end.

This is actually a momentous occasion, as it's one of the few times I've reviewed an entire series from start to finish! Usually I either get bored with a show and stop (cough Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. cough), or the showrunners piss me off and I rage quit it before the end (I'm lookin' at you, The Walking Dead). Amazingly, I made it all the way through The Flash, and reviewed every single episode!

SPOILERS, I GUESS!

The Plot:
At STAR Labs, Cecile tells Team Flash about the adventures she had last week in 2049. She says Eddie Thawne is alive and well in the future, and has become the Negative Speed Force's new avatar. The Force is now charging itself up for a final confrontation with them.

Barry contacts the team, telling them he's stopped time-hopping and has somehow made it back to the present. He says he's on his way to the hospital to be with Iris when Nora's born, and also nonchalantly warns them that the Negative Speed Force is threatening all of existence. The skies turn red, as lightning stabs down at the city.

Cut to Eddie's house in 2049 (I guess?), which is actually a construct created by the Negative Speed Force for him to live in (got all that?). The place is now bathed in a hellish red light, to hammer home the idea that it's an evil realm. Hunter Zolomon (aka Zoom) appears, confused as to how he got there (just like the audience!). Godspeed appears as well, and the two trade insults & threats for a while.

Just then the Reverse-Flash (the Harrison Wells version) appears, and informs them they're all inside the Negative Speed Force. Savitar pops in too and begins mouthing off to the others.

Finally Eddie Thawne enters and greets them all. Zoom, Godspeed & Savitar demand to know who he is and what's going on. Reverse-Flash introduces him as Eddie Thawne, the dumbest branch of his family tree.

Eddie then informs the evil speedsters that they're all dead, but he was able to pluck them from their respective timelines and bring them here to form a team to defeat the Flash once and for all. Apparently he like the plot of Spider-Man: No Way Home so much that he decided to recreate it for himself. 

When the others balk and ask why they shouldn't just kill him where he stands, he slaps the Blue Jolly Rancher Of Doom, er, I mean the Negative Speed Force crystal to his chest. It instantly transforms him into new evil speedster Cobalt Blue— complete with a spiffy new costume. Eddie then uses his newfound powers to charge the others with enough Negative Speed Force energy to kill Barry.

Elsewhere, Barry arrives at the hospital, where Iris is happy to finally see him. Unfortunately she still hasn't had the baby yet. Just then Eddie shows up, and tells them he's now going by Cobalt Blue. He calmly informs them he's going to kill Barry so he can be the hero and have the life he should have had.

Barry & Iris try to reason with Eddie and convince him the Negative Speed Force is just using him. Eddie refuses to listen, and Iris says she has just three words for him— "Run, Barry, Run." Barry zooms off, taking the fight outside. He & Eddie then have a good old fashioned speedster battle through the middle of Central City.

Eddie manages to get the upper hand, and is about to deliver the killing blow to Barry. Just then Nora (Barry's daughter from the future, not the Speed Force— too many Noras on this show) appears and knocks Eddie for a loop. She's accompanied by Team Flash, consisting of herself, Cecile, Allegra and Khione for some reason.

Eddie summons his speedster team, and the two groups pose and try to look menacing for a minute or two. Suddenly Barry orders his team to perform "Delta maneuvers," and everyone pairs up and fights one on one.

Nora faces off against Savitar, who grabs her by the neck & lifts her off the ground. He stabs her through the gut with his wrist blade, but she survives by phasing part of her body. She then snaps off the blade and stabs him in the back with it, killing him instantly. That was easy! Wait, isn't Savitar secretly a time remnant of Barry? Is she aware that she just gleefully killed a version of her father?

Elsewhere, Cecile battles Godspeed, who generates dozens of clones of himself. She easily defeats this army of deadly speedsters by awkwardly waving her hands at them, er, I mean using her telekinesis to disable them. She then uses her psychic powers to put Godspeed Prime to sleep. Or maybe she kills him, I don't care. That was easy!

At STAR Labs, Eobard Thawne appears and attacks Chester, frying him with Negative Speed Force energy. Chester's seemingly killed, just as Allegra rushes in. She cradles his body, as Thawne taunts her. She lets loose with a massive blast of energy, knocking out Thawne. Or again, maybe he's dead. That was easy!

Against all logic and reason, Chester comes to, and he and Allegra start making out (?).

Meanwhile, Zoom shows up in a Central City tunnel, where he's confronted by Chief Singh, Kristen Kramer and Officer Korber. Khione appears (with a useless Chillblaine in tow) and tells Zoom to stand down. He races around and around the tunnel for several minutes, presumably building up a Negative Speed Force charge. He fires it at Khione, who "catches" it and hurls it back at him. Apparently he isn't immune to his own energy, and is knocked out or killed. That was easy!

Eddie zooms into Jitters, followed closely by Barry. Eddie conjures up a Negative Speed Force lightsaber, just like Thawne did back in Season 8 (oy). He grabs a hostage & threatens to kill him unless Barry surrenders.

Barry forgets he's a speedster and could disarm Eddie in a millionth of a second, and chooses to reason with Eddie instead. Sure, that always works! Just then Eddie's powers begin to glitch, as he wonders what's happening. Jay Garrick makes a sudden and timely appearance, and absorbs the Negative Speed Force energy from Eddie.

Barry pleads with the now powerless Eddie to quit being a big meanie. Eddie says he'll never stop till he's the hero, and begins absorbing speed from the Legion Of Zoom. He cackles insanely as he vanishes. The various evil speedsters all disappear as well, and are never seen again.

Khione & Chillblaine arrive at Jitters, as the lightning in the red skies intensifies. Barry says Eddie's causing the timeline to fracture. Jay says if Eddie wants more power he'll go to the source— into the Negative Speed Force.

Barry worries that if Eddie absorbs all the energy there he'll die, exactly like Thawne did last season. Chillblaine says they should just let him explode and be done with him. Barry refuses to let that happen, claiming Eddie's a "hero."

Barry says he needs to get into the Negative Speed Force to stop Eddie. Khione says she can easily get him there, but wonders what he'll do once he's inside. He says for too long the positive & negative forces have been at war, so he wants to find a way to balance them. Khione says it would be better if the two sides learned to coexist. Trippy, man!

Khione zaps Barry into the Negative Speed Force, where Eddie's now occupying a nightmarish version of the Loft. Eddie stands with his arms outstretched, attempting to absorb ALL the energy inside the other-dimensional realm.

Barry realizes that Eddie's mind is almost gone, replaced by the Negative Speed Force's sentience. He pleads with Eddie to stop before it's too late, but he ignores him. So Barry comes up with a cunning plan— he simply tackles Eddie & knocks him to the floor. Amazingly, that's the closest he ever comes to any superhero action in this episode.

Eddie begins fighting Barry, punching him and hurling him about the room. Since this is late-stage The Flash, Barry refuses to fight back. This makes Eddie even madder, fueling his hate and causing him to pummel Barry even harder.

Finally Barry tells him the only way to stop the madness is for Eddie to embrace his role as the Negative Speed Force's avatar, but to NOT give in to the hate. He says it's the only way to build a better world or some such drivel.

This triggers a montage in Eddie, as he remembers his past with Iris. Amazingly he realizes Barry's right, and stops fighting. Huzzah! Once again Barry defeats a villain with the Power Of Friendship!

Eddie then reaches up, pulls the Blue Jolly Rancher Of Doom, er, I mean the Negative Speed Force crystal from his chest, throws it to the floor and stomps on it. Which I guess destroys it for good? That was easy!

Eddie accepts his fate and tells Barry that they won't always see eye to eye, since technically he's still the Negative Speed Force's avatar. He says to tell Iris he's happy for her.

And that's it! That's how the show's final superhero battle ends! Not with a bang, not even with a whimper— it just... stops.

The rest of the episode is then spent wrapping up all the various relationship drama. Barry zooms to the hospital, where he's just in time to see Baby Nora be born.

At STAR Labs, Team Flash confirms the timeline's back to normal. Chillblaine runs tests on Chester, and finds he now has black hole powers (just like in the comic) after his run-in with Thawne. Timeless Wells (remember him?) appears for some reason, and tells Khione it's time for her ascension.

Khione says goodbye to all her friends, including Chillblaine— who earlier in the season tried to erase her from existence. She then summons a vortex around her and ascends to another plane or becomes the Earth's protector or some such hooey. In her place we see Caitlin, alive and well and restored back to life (!).

One week later, Barry & Iris throw a shindig at the Loft to welcome Baby Nora to the world. The entire cast is there, including a few puzzling guests like Iris' employees, Timeless Wells and Jay Garrick's wife Joan. Everyone but Cisco.

Barry apologizes to Caitlin for destroying her attempts to restore Frost last season. She forgives him, saying she realizes what she was doing was wrong.

Joe then hijacks the party and finally proposes to Cecile. She accepts, but doesn't indicate she'll be giving up her superheroing, casting doubt on their long-distance marriage.

After the party, Barry tells Baby Nora a story about believing in the impossible, and says it's time he shared his gift.

We then see Barry running through the city, building up a massive charge of Speed Force lightning. He fires off three blasts, which strike Avery Ho, Max Mercury and Jess Chambers— presumably turning them all into new speedsters to help protect Central City.

The End.

Thoughts:

• The first three parts of this final arc have begun with a shot of blue roses in Eddie's house. For some reason this last part begins with the camera flying through the clouds. 

Why the change? Welp, the cloud shot is accompanied by a voiceover from Barry Allen (you know, the guy who used to be the star of the show), repeating the exact same lines he uttered in the opening of Pilot, nine long years ago.

Clearly they changed the pattern this week so this episode could echo the first one and form a nice little bookend. 

• We then see Team Flash at STAR Labs in 2023. Cecile's mind is back from its visit to 2049, and she tells the gang that Eddie Thawne is now the Negative Speed Force's avatar. Just then Barry shows up at STAR in the present as well. Wait, hasn't he been bouncing back & forth through time all through this arc? So how is it he's finally back where he belongs? Don't know! And it's apparently none of our business, as it's never explained.

• We do eventually get the shot of the blue roses inside Eddie's house one last time— just not at the beginning of the episode. Also, this is the first episode of this arc that doesn't feature a few bars of I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues. Consistency, Schmuschmistency!

• Hunter Zolomon, aka Zoom, suddenly appears inside Eddie's house. He's confused as to how he got there, as the last thing he remembers was being attacked by Time Wraiths.

For weeks now I've been wondering why Eddie's living in the West home in 2049. Obviously the real world reason is because the show simply couldn't afford to build a new set, or the producers just didn't give a shit at this point and repurposed the old one. But what's the in-universe reason?

Last week Barry implied that the house wasn't real, and was actually a construct created by the Negative Speed Force for Eddie to live in after his resurrection. Sure, why not.

By the way, if you like red, then this is the episode for you! For some reason, this week Eddie's fake home is bathed in eye-searing red light—I guess to make sure we know there's EVIL going on.

• Godspeed then materializes in Eddie's house as well, claiming he'd just been trying to kill Bart Allen— which implies he's from 2049 (the only future year that exists on this show).

But wait... Godspeed was defeated back in Heart Of The Matter, Part 2 (the one with the Speed Force lightsabers), had his mind wiped and was imprisoned in Iron Heights. Did he somehow regain his memory and escape when we weren't looking?

Eobard Thawne (the version with Harrison Wells' face) shows up too, and trades barbs with the others.

A few seconds later also pops in, rounding out the evil speedster quartet.

Is it just me, or does Savitar look awfully... zaftig here? I don't remember him being quite so chunky back in Season 3.

• By the way, when Thawne first appears, he greets the other speedsters by saying, "Welcome to the Negative Speed Force, fellas. First time?"

I'm not entirely sure, but I think that might have been a nod to the The Ballad Of Buster Scruggs meme, in which James Franco's character is about to be hung and looks over at his fellow prisoner and says, "First time?"

Clearly the joke here is that Thawne's used to being resurrected by this point, unlike the others.

• Godspeed threatens Thawne by asking if he has any last words. Thawne replies, "Never wear white after Labor Day."

OK, that was actually pretty funny. Well done!

• Eddie then materializes, looking like the least dangerous villain ever in his Steve Jobs cosplay. He informs the evil speedsters that they all died fighting the Flash. Fortunately he plucked them from their various timelines a microsecond before their deaths and brought them here, where he can boost their speed in order to seek revenge on their mortal enemy.

At first I was impressed with this plotline, as it was pretty darned cool and a great way to bring back all the evil speedsters who'd ever appeared on the show. 

Then it hit me— it's literally the plot of Spider-Man: No Way Home! The writers just shamelessly swiped The Flash series finale from Marvel! The only thing missing are two multiversal versions of Barry.

Hey, I guess if you're gonna steal, steal from the best!

• Speaking of this episode's plot...

Last week the Blue Jolly Rancher Of Doom, er, I mean the Negative Speed Force crystal told Eddie its plan— to round up Zoom, Godspeed, Savitar and Reverse-Flash so they could team up and destroy Barry once and for all.

At the time I pointed out that its choices made little or no sense. Zoom had nothing to do with the Negative Speed Force, and got his powers from taking Velocity-9. Same goes for Godspeed. Savitar WAS Barry Allen (or an evil time remnant of him), and as such had his own power source. Of them all, only the Reverse-Flash got his abilities from the Negative Speed Force.

Credit where it's due— the writers actually remembered all that this week!

Zoom: (to Thawne) "I'm the fastest man alive!"
Thawne: "No, you're just a strung out, jumped-up Velocity-9 junkie."

I'm honestly amazed they knew that! Good job. 

That said, I still don't believe these four would ever willingly work together— even to kill Barry. Zoom and Godspeed are both way too arrogant to ever be part of a team. And as I said, Savitar was a time remnant of Barry. An unhinged version of him to be sure, but still one who would never join up with his old enemies. And Thawne consistently belittled Eddie, calling him "the dumbest branch on his family tree." 

It also seems unlikely that Eddie would want to work with Thawne— the guy he threw his life away trying to kill. 

And yet here we are, with all of them working together, despite the fact it makes no sense.

• When it was first announced that the series' final Big Bad would be Cobalt Blue, I'd never heard of the character and new absolutely nothing about him. That said, I was curious and thought it might be interesting to see one last brand new villain.

Be careful what you wish for, I guess. In this episode finally assumes his true form as Cobalt Blue. Unfortunately he looks like another Power Rangers reject, or a dancer in a Vegas revue.

To be fair, they did a decent job of bringing him to the screen, as he looks very much like the comic version— it's just that in this case the source material is awful.

• Get a good look, kids, as this is the last time we'll ever see the "floating heads" titles— the one that looks for all the world like a soap opera intro. I still miss the old "My Name Is Barry Allen, And I'm The Fastest Man Alive" opening. Ah well.

• Once again, the opening credits spoil the appearance of the various guest stars. Stupid Opening Credits!

Although they did manage to synch Tobin Bell's credit with Savitar's appearance. Well done, I guess.

Speaking of Bell... I assume the audience was supposed to be impressed by his participation in this episode. If I'm being honest though, they electronically deepened and processed his voice so much that it could have been ANYONE saying Savitar's lines and we literally wouldn't have known the difference.

• We then cut to the Central City Hospital, where Iris is still in labor. I don't remember for sure, but this may be the first time we've ever seen this building.

In many other episodes, the characters have always gone to the Central City Medical Center (which was represented by this piece of video clip art). 

This isn't necessarily a mistake, as many large cities have more than one medical facility. I just thought it worth mentioning.

• At the hospital, Barry's finally reunited with Iris. Unfortunately they're interrupted by the sudden appearance of Eddie— sorry, Cobalt Blue— in his spiffy new band uniform.

Last week Eddie was angry that Barry "stole" the life he was owed, and was intent on winning back Iris. This week he's changed tactics and wants to kill Barry and.... well, I'll let him explain it:

Barry: "Eddie, you kill me, you kill the Speed Force too."
Eddie: "Exactly. And without the Speed Force to bind it together, the timeline will fall. And then I'll make a new one where I'm the hero."

Once again we're told that the Speed Force is the only thing holding our universe together, and if it dies, so does all of existence. And just like last week, I gotta point out that the Speed Force DID die two or three seasons back, and nothing even remotely like this happened. The only result was that Barry lost his powers.

I have no idea where all this nonsense is coming from, but it's definitely a HUGE retcon.

• Eddie then threatens to kill Barry & Iris, and we get one last mention of the show's catchphrase:

Eddie: "Now, any last words?"
Iris: "I've got three. Run, Barry. Run."

OK, I gotta admit that was a damned cool line. And one of the last times we'll ever hear it. Almost makes me choke up a little. Almost.

• Barry & Eddie then have an epic speedster battle through downtown Central City. At one point Eddie conjures up a Speed Force spear. Barry does the same, and the two attack one another with their crackling energy weapons. Oy...

I've said it many, many times before, but I am NOT a fan of the whole "Speed Force As A Weapon" thing. Speedsters are already the most ridiculously overpowered superheroes there are, as they can attack faster than an opponent can even see. Giving them the ability to create energy constructs makes it even worse, as it basically turns them into Green Lanterns.

Also, Eddie has red lightning here. I get that it's because he's being powered by the Negative Speed Force, which is traditionally red, but... Cobalt BLUE, anyone?

Also also, check out the CGI Eddie when he first whips up his spear and holds it over his head. Yikes! Most of the FX in this episode are pretty good, but they definitely dropped the ball with Eddie's face.

• A few weeks back I noted that when the Negative Speed Force possessed Joe and Chillblaine, they didn't become speedsters. In fact nothing much changed for them, other than sporting glowing eyes and turning evil. One would think the first thing such an elemental force would do is make its hosts super fast.

Finally this week, the Negative Speed Force possesses Eddie and makes him a speedster. I guess maybe it forgot it could do that, and just now remembered?

Oh, and before anyone mentions it, I'm aware that last week the Negative Speed Force possessed Nora, and she and Barry had a big ol' speedster battle. That was different though, as she was a speedster BEFORE she was possessed.

• Eddie's apparently much stronger than Barry, as his attack throws our hero several hundred yards, causing him to bounce off numerous cars and crash through a glass sign.

So once again, Barry's dead, right? Even with his speed healing, there's no way he could survive a beating like that.

• Barry's saved from certain death by the timely arrival of Team Flash— which consists of Chillblaine (who's managed to get his shirt off one last time), Khione (for some reason), Nora (who's apparently slumming here in 2023), Allegra and finally Cecile (in her spiffy new "Virtue" costume). 

Wow, Eddie's really in for it now! Especially when he gets a good look at this "formidable" team and laughs himself sick.

OK, why the hell isn't Barry's team made up of all the good speedsters who've ever appeared on the show? It should have been Barry, Wally, Nora, Bart and Jay Garrick. They'd have been a perfect counterpart to Eddie's team, but instead we just got the regular old cast.

OK, I get it— the regular actors were already contracted to appear, and it would have been prohibitively expensive to bring in four more guest stars. In the world of the show though, the lineup of Barry's team makes no damn sense.

• Eddie then teleports in his own team, consisting of Godspeed, Reverse-Flash, Savitar and Zoom. Several things here:

First of all, Eddie calls his little squad here the "Legion Of Zoom." Ugh... OK, I get it— it's a play on the Legion Of Doom. But one of the members of this particular little group is actually named Zoom, making it sound like it's his team— which is needlessly confusing.

Second, note that Savitar's lights are now shining red, rather than blue as they did earlier. It's been a lonnnnnng time since I watched Season 3, so I couldn't remember if that was ever a thing on the show or not. 

Turns out it was, as his armor lights changed to red in the Season 3 finale Finish Line. However, in that episode Savitar's lights changed from blue to red after Barry phased him out of his armor and took it over himself. So make of that what you will.

Lastly, what's up with Zoom's mask in this episode? On the left is how he appeared way back in Season 2, and on the right is how he looks this week. What the hell?

Bear in mind that Eddie pulled him from his timeline at the moment of his death, so he should look exactly as he did seven years ago. And yet he's completely different. Did they lose the original molds and have to sculpt a new mask? Or did they forget how to light him properly?

Whatever the reason, the difference is VERY noticeable and jarring.

• The two teams then take a few seconds to pose dramatically in front of one another before their big fight. There's a lot of that in this episode.

With apologies to Ryan George and his Pitch Meetings, pitting these two groups against one another is utterly ridiculous.

On one team you've got two speedsters, a guy who can freeze things, a woman with light powers, a telepath/empath and Mother Nature.

The other team consists of 5, count 'em FIVE speedsters. Beings who can move so fast the rest of the world seems frozen in place. There's no way in hell Barry's team could ever possibly hope to defend against that. The Legion Of Zoom could literally murder them all while they were blinking! 

And yet as we'll see in a minute, FIVE whole-ass speedsters are no match for Team Flash!

• Eventually Barry has enough of the Legion's posturing and tells Team Flash to "Execute Delta Maneuvers." This move apparently consists of each member zooming off in different directions, as the various evil speedsters chase after them.

First we see Eddie pursuing Barry, as the two zoom through the city.

Then Godspeed chases after Cecile, who's floating hundreds of feet above the streets below. Wait, what? She flies now? She flies now. Godspeed catches up to her by creating a series of Negative Speed Force platforms and leaping from one to the next (!). Cecile counters by using her Jean Grey powers to stop him in midair and then easily flings him to the ground.

Zoom races after Khione (and I guess Chillblaine as well?), who somehow manages to outpace him inside her blue vortex. We then see Thawne chasing after Allegra, who uses Nash Wells' teleport bombs to keep two steps ahead of him.

Note that everything in this scene's moving so fast that I had to watch it about twenty times before I realized I was seeing both Khione AND Allegra being pursued by Zoom and Thawne. Their powers look so similar they kind of blur together. I dunno who thought it was a good idea to put two gals with blue smoke powers next to one another, but they need fired.

Lastly we see Savitar chasing after Nora.

Credit Where It's Due: Even though it's patently ridiculous that Team Flash could ever beat a bunch of speedsters, it's still a pretty cool scene. It perfectly showcases everyone's powers, and is actually quite well done. More or less.

And enjoy this brief battle scene between everyone, as it's definitely the only action we get in the entire episode, as right after this everything turns to shit...

• The big "Team Flash Vs. Evil Speedsters" battle scenes have to be seen to be believed. There's a lot to talk about here, so I'm gonna go through each of the matchups one at a time.

— We'll start with the Nora/Savitar pairing. Savitar manages to grab Nora by the neck, lift her above his head and stab her through the chest with one of his arm blades. Holy crap!

But SURPRISE— Nora has a trick of her sleeve, as she selectively phases her torso so the blade passes harmlessly through her.

Then she snaps off the blade, zooms behind Savitar and stabs him in the back, instantly killing him (!).

Jaysis, so much to unpack here.

First off, the shot of Nora being stabbed through the chest by Savitar mirrors the Season 2 episode Infantino Street, in which the evil speedster seemingly killed Iris the exact same way. Nice callback, I guess. 

Second, this is likely some Heavy Duty Nitpicking, but whatever. Nora survives Savitar's attack by phasing just her torso. Pretty clever at first glance, but it doesn't make a lick of sense. If she phased her gut so the blade couldn't hurt her, then it wouldn't encounter any resistance, and Savitar's entire arm would just pass right through her! 

Plus I can only imagine the catastrophic physical damage that partial phasing would do to one's body. 

Third, Nora stabs Savitar with his own blade— which means his armor doesn't protect him from his own weaponry. I dunno, that seems wrong to me.

Lastly, Nora straight up murders Savitar, then actually grins as she gleefully utters her trademark "Schway" catchphrase to punctuate the kill.

Holy shit! 

Um... did everyone on the show suddenly forget that Savitar IS Barry Allen? OK, he wasn't OUR Barry, as he was a time remnant from an aborted future, who went bad and became evil. But technically he was still Barry.

Which means Nora just killed her own father and wasn't the least bit affected by his death. In fact the only emotion she showed at all was one of smug victory after she offed him.

Jesus Christ! 

I cannot overemphasize just how utterly wrong all this is. This scene only confirms my suspicion that the current crop of writers have never actually watched the show, and have no idea what happened in the early seasons.

— Things are about to get even more outrageous though, as Cecile takes on Godspeed. Hold on to something!

The two zoom into the Central City Institute Of Technology, where they stop to pose in front of one another.

Cecile taunts Godspeed, who becomes enraged and creates an army of clones to overrun her.

Amazingly this platoon of evil speedsters is no match for her, as she easily dispatches them one at a time. She then fries Godspeed Prime's mind with her psychic powers, killing him (I guess?). 

And that's apparently that! It's just that easy for a non-speedster to defeat the self-proclaimed God Of Speed and his army of duplicates!

Again, this scene is a veritable goldmine of ridiculousness. So much to go through!

First off, the vast interior of the Central City Institute Of Technology...

Is played by Simon Fraser University in Surrey, British Columbia— just across the river from Vancouver.

The University also doubled as the interior of Mercury Labs back in A New World, Part 1.

Second, Godspeed confronts Cecile and calls her "Virtue." Wait, what? How the hell does he know her by that name? As I pointed out above, he was defeated in battle in Season 7 and had his mind wiped— lonnnnng before Cecile ever adopted her new superhero identity.

Let me guess— the Negative Speed Force clued him in, right? I have a feeling that's gonna be the answer to EVERY question in this episode.

Third, Cecile stands high above Godspeed and goads him, prompting him to create an army of clones to attack her. Wow, she's really in trouble this time, right? I mean it'd be impossible for someone like Cecile to defeat even one speedster, much less an entire squadron of them.

And yet that's precisely what she does. Take a moment to savor the unintentional and absolute hilarity of this shot. You haven't lived until you see Cecile frantically waving her arms around at the Godspeed clones, which somehow instantly knocks 'em all out. I laughed out loud for a good five minutes the first time I saw this scene. I bet actress Danielle Nicolet felt really stupid filming this shot. And if she didn't, she should have. It's the most laughable scene in the entire series. It's so embarrassing it'd make Ed Wood look away in shame.

I'm wondering if the producers actually planned on adding some kind of psychic energy effect here, and either ran out of time or money, or simply just didn't give a shit. Just for fun, I took the liberty of adding some psychic blast FX to the scene to see if that might improve it. I think it made it slightly better, but it's still pretty darned silly. 

That's too bad, as there's actually some pretty impressive stunt work in this scene, as the Godspeeds plummet from hundreds of feet and crash into objects below. Unfortunately their hard work was overshadowed by Cecile waving her hands around like a lunatic.

— Next up, Thawne appears inside STAR Labs and goes up against... Chester? Jaysis, he doesn't even have any powers! Talk about an unfair fight!

Sure enough, Thawne then goes full Palpatine on Chester's ass, frying him with Negative Speed Force energy. And I do mean fry! As filmed, there's clearly no way in hell a human could survive such an attack.

Allegra then makes an entrance, and fires a concentrated blast of UV light at Thawne, knocking him across the room and maybe killing him as well. 

She then begins sobbing as she cradles Chester's lifeless body in her arms. But SURPRISE—as improbable as it seems, he's not dead after all.

Again, LOTS to unpack here.

First off, note that when we first see Thawne in the Cortex, he's inexplicably sitting in a wheelchair. Clearly this is an homage to Season 1, when Thawne was impersonating the handicapped Harrison Wells. OK, I get it, but... whose wheelchair is this? And why's it there?

Obviously this a Member Berry Callback, even though it doesn't make any sense. Don't think! Just watch pretty pictures and clap at things you recognize!

Second, having Chester somehow survive Thawne's attack is patently ridiculous. I don't actively hate the character of Chester, but I really do think he should have been killed here. His death would have upped the stakes, and given the episode some much-needed weight.

Having him wake up and shake off such a clearly lethal attack was insulting to the audience, and felt like a huge cheat.

Lastly, I love how once Chester revives, he and Allegra decide it's the perfect time to make out— all while a deadly evil speedster lies unconscious (or possibly dead?) behind them. Classic!

— We then get another "epic" battle as Zoom faces off against Khione & Chillblaine (along with Central City's finest). He poses dramatically in a tunnel, where he's confronted by a police roadblock (?). Khione appears & tells him to give up peacefully. He refuses of course, and attacks her. She easily reflects his blast back at him, and knocks him out or kills him— who knows or cares at this point. 

This brief scene is yet another treasure trove, and there's tons to go over.

First off, I love how the CCPD sets up this little roadblock inside the tunnel— as if that could ever possibly stop a determined evil speedster. 

Years back there was an episode in which Barry stopped a runaway train by literally dismantling it into its component parts at superspeed— while the thing was moving. Surely Zoom could do something similar here with these police cars blocking his path.

Or he could, you know, just jump over them at super speed.

Second, we get last hurrah appearances by Officer Korber (who was killed by Eddie last week in 2049, but is still alive here in 2023), Chief Singh and Captain Kramer.

Note that Korber & Singh are both sportin' futuristic hi-tech ordinance that they got from gods know where. ARGUS, maybe? Even more curious, Kramer's holding the price scanner-looking weapon that Korber pointed at Eddie in 2049 a few weeks ago. WHOOPS! Where the hell did she get that?

Is... is this scene supposed to be happening in the future, but the script forgot to tell us? I don't think so, but how else to explain Kramer's gun? Other than the prop guy screwed up, of course. Or again, just didn't care and wanted to get this over with.

I gotta point out just how face-palmingly ridiculous this all is, as guns ain't gonna do anything against a speedster who can move faster than the human eye can see. 

Third, Zoom sees Khione and Chillblaine in the tunnel and mockingly says, "The Goddess and her sidekick."

Wait, what? How does Zoom know about Khione and what she is? He was literally plucked from his timeline (in 2016) just minutes ago. There's no way in hell he could possibly know that Caitlin died and was reborn as Khione, nor could he possibly be aware of the powers she has.

Also, back in Season 2 Zoom was in love with Caitlin, as the two had a flirty little relationship going. So when he sees Khionne, as far as he's concerned he should just think she's Caitlin with blue highlights in her hair. Again, have the current writers ever watched the show before?

I suppose again the answer is that the Negative Speed Force briefed him on Khionne and told him all about her. They're really leaning into that excuse though. 

Fourth, Zoom then "attacks" Khione and Chillblaine, by... running in circles around the tunnel walls for a few minutes. I guess he's building up a big ol' charge of Negative Speed Force energy to throw at them? Maybe?

It's pretty obvious why he does this. If he acted like a proper speedster here, he could slit everyone's throats before they knew they were dead and zoom (heh) out of the tunnel before they hit the ground. So the producers had him circle the tunnel to extend the scene and pad out the runtime a bit.

Fifth, Zoom hurls a concentrated blast of Negative Speed Force energy at Khione. She easily palms it like Yoda, then flings it right back at him. Amazingly he's knocked out by his own energy blast! Wha...? Does that seem right? He isn't immune to his own power? Ah, whatever. Let's just roll with it or we'll be here all day.

By the way, I have to point out here that Chillblaine did absolutely NOTHING throughout this entire scene. Khionne even teleported him to the tunnel— he didn't even get there on his own! And once there, he just stood and passively watched everything unfold. Why the hell was he even in this scene? He was about as useful as taste buds on an asshole.

Lastly, the scene ends with everyone crowding around this ultra deadly speedster, who could murder them all in a millionth of a second. And yet he doesn't even attempt to fight back. 

For extra yuks, check out the "intense" way Kramer's pointing her price scanner at Zoom. It looks like she couldn't possibly be any less interested in this scene.

— Finally we cut to Barry & Eddie, as they "battle" one another (well, kind of) inside Jitters. Eddie threatens the patrons, but an unexpected guest star shows up and chases him off.

You guessed it! Lots to talk about here!

What's up with the lighting inside Jitters? Or should I say LACK of? Is management trying to save a few bucks by turning off the lights? Or is it closing time and they're hinting for the stragglers to get the hell out?

At one point Eddie threatens the Jitters staff with a lightsaber made of Negative Speed Force energy, just like Reverse-Flash did back in Heart Of The Matter, Part 2. Except this time it's a scary, extra-crackly blade, much like Kylo Ren's in The Force Awakens. Sorry, but it's just as dumb an idea now as it was in Season 7.

At least when Eobard Thawne did it though, he'd been a speedster for years and was a pro at manipulating the Negative Speed Force. Eddie here's been a speedster for all of ten minutes, so it seems unlikely he'd have the skill and know-how to create energy constructs already.

Eddie's lightsaber then goes flaccid as he loses his powers. Don't worry, Eddie, it happens to all speedsters from time to time!

We then see the cause of Eddie's impotence is the timely arrival of Jay Garrick, who absorbs all the Negative Speed Force energy.

Just as I was about to say, "How the hell does Jay know how to do that," he quips, "Just another trick I picked up from my Earth-90 doppelgänger."

Wait, what? So many questions here!

First off, it's always great to see John Wesley Shipp on the show as Jay Garrick, so I'm glad they brought him back one last time.

That said... OF COURSE someone besides Barry saves the day here. Because gods forbid the main character actually do something or have any agency in his own series. This has been a recurring problem for the past few seasons now— giving credence to the fan theory that Eric Wallace actively hates the show's main character.

Second, wouldn't absorbing a crap ton of Negative Speed Force energy have a, well, negative effect on Jay? Just a few minutes earlier we saw Chester was nearly killed by a similar blast from Thawne. At the least, surely internalizing all that dark energy would turn him evil or something.  Apparently not though, as he's completely fine afterward.

Also, I'm puzzled by Jay's doppelgänger comment. Clearly he's talking about the Flash who starred in his own series over on CBS way back in 1990. The same version who sacrificed himself to save the multiverse back in Crisis On Infinite Earths, Part Three.

There's just one problem with that— the Earth-90 Flash died in the Crisis. In fact he's the one who took Barry's place, to fulfill the whole "Flash Vanishes In Crisis" headline we saw for years.

Even if that Flash didn't die, Earth-90 was certainly destroyed by the Anti-Monitor. Unless Oliver Queen/The Spectre brought it back when he secretly restored the Multiverse? Did he bring back the Earth-90 Flash as well? Did Jay somehow meet and learn from him before he died?

Obviously this line is nothing more than pure, 100% fan service, but the writers didn't put any thought into it or worry about whether it made any sense or not.

Temporarily defeated, Eddie then absorbs the Negative Speed Force energy from the dead/unconscious evil speedsters into his own body. Sure, why not.

I love how as Eddie's surrounded by all the deadly crackling energy, Jay holds his helmet in front of his chest for protection!

Wait a minute... A minute ago, Jay nonchalantly absorbed all of Eddie's Negative Speed Force energy into his own body— with no ill effects. So why's he flinching from it here? WHOOPS!

Lastly, I said it earlier, but I'm gonna repeat it— seeing these two Flashes together made it abundantly clear that THIS is what Barry's team should have looked like. It should have consisted of Barry, Jay Garrick, Wally West and Nora & Bart Allen. You know, an entire team of SPEEDSTERS battling against a team of evil ones.

I get that the real world probably intruded here, and the various speedster actors' schedules made it impossible for them all to appear in the finale. But... it's not like this last ever episode was a surprise to anyone. They had NINE YEARS to prepare and arrange for it!

So THAT'S the end of the Legion Of Zoom! Somehow the ridiculously underpowered Team Flash was able to take out not one, not two, but a whopping FIVE evil speedsters (actually DOZENS of them, if you count Godspeed's clones). Beings who, as I've said numerous times already, could kill them all in a millionth of a second.

This is complete and utter bullshit, as well as an insult to the fans of the show.

• Normally in my reviews I do a lot of Heavy Duty Nitpicking, in which I go wayyyy overboard and complain about some picayune mistake that no one else would ever care about or even notice.

For the first time ever, I'm switching things up and doing some Heavy Duty Praising!

After he's defeated, Eddie reaches out and absorbs Godspeed's, er, speed into his own body. As the Negative Speed Force energy arcs upward from Godspeed, note that we can see the lightning reflected in the glass next to Cecile.

Same thing happens when Eddie absorbs Savitar's speed— you can see its reflection in the glass guardrail next to him. Now that's some outstanding attention to detail! Well done!

• Eddie vanishes to the Negative Speed Force to soak up all its energy, prompting Team Flash to have this discussion:

Khione: "There's lightning all over the city. Does that mean..."

Barry: " The whole timeline's breaking down."
Chillblaine: "How do we stop Eddie?"
Jay: "Now that he's the Negative Speed Force avatar, the only way to defeat him is to let it destroy himself. Just like that last one."
Chillblaine: "Okay, so let's do that!"

I can't believe I'm saying this, but for once I agree with Chillblaine! Let Eddie absorb all the energy in the Negative Speed Force and then go boom, just like Eobard Thawne did last season in Negative, Part Two. Problem solved!

Also, environmentalists must be huge fans of Eric Wallace, as he really loves recycling his plots! How many times in the past three or four years have we seen an evil meta die after absorbing too much energy or power?

The discussion continues:

Barry: "Eddie's a hero. He saved my life once by sacrificing himself to stop Thawne— I won't let him die again. I need to find a way into the Negative Speed Force somehow."
Chillblaine: "Uh, I think maybe saving the universe is a lot more important than just one guy."
Barry: (enraged) "My wife is in the hospital right now about to give birth to our child! I am trying to save the timeline and Eddie's life!"
Jay: "Son, as hard as it sounds, that may just be impossible."

Once again, Chillblaine's channeling my thoughts, as he suggests simply letting Eddie take himself out of the equation.

I also liked Jay's wiser, calmer approach here, as he gently tells Barry it may not be possible to save everyone this time. Well done!

Kudos to Grant Gustin here, as he acts the hell out of this scene. This is a truly subpar episode, but damned if he doesn't still give it his all, like a true pro! 

• Barry wants to stop Eddie, but knows if he does the Negative Speed Force will just pick a new avatar, and the War Between The Forces will go on forever. Khione tells him there's a second option:

Khione: "What if there's another way forward? The more I embrace who I truly am, the more I see the natural order of things. You say balance is about violence and death, but it doesn't have to be that way. Nature is about more than balance. It's about coexistence. All things living together. Not in conflict, but in mutual trust."
Barry: "Khione, the last avatar I faced... I sat down. I stopped fighting. Thawne didn't. You want coexistence, but I'm sorry. It's impossible."
Khione: "Then you need to believe in the impossible, because it's the only way to create a better world."

I see what you did there, The Flash writers. They used Barry's opening narration about "believing in the impossible" against him.

I know it ain't Shakespeare, but it's the closest thing to decent writing you're gonna find in this dumpster fire of an episode.

• Cut to the Negative Speed Force realm or dimension or whatever it is, where we see Eddie's apparently moved out of Joe's old house, and into a facsimile of Barry & Iris' loft.

Just as with the construct of the West home, they did this to save some dough and avoid having to build a new set. Which is fine, I guess, as it leaves more money in the budget for FX, but... it's just beyond obvious.

• Deux Ex Machina, er, I mean Khione, pops Barry into the Negative Speed Force. Once there, he sees Eddie absorbing all the energy the realm has to offer. Yawn, this again! As previously mentioned, this plot element is lifted straight from Negative, Part Two.

This is as good a time as any to bring this up, but... why does the Negative Speed Force need Eddie to be its avatar in the first place? The regular Speed Force never had one— from the start it was able to create a physical form, usually manifesting itself as Barry's late mother Nora Allen.

So why's the Negative Speed Force need a human puppet? Why can't it create a body for itself like its opposite force?

Of course the real world answer is the writers needed a way to turn Eddie into an evil speedster— but there's no in-universe reason or explanation for it.

Barry pleads with Eddie to stop, but of course is ignored. He then comes up with the cunningly brilliant and unintentionally hilarious plan to tackle Eddie in order to stop him! 

Get a good look at this shot, because it's as close as Barry comes to actually taking any sort of action in the entire episode.

Because this is late stage The Flash, Barry refuses to fight Eddie, preferring to reason with him and talk things out. Rightly so, Eddie sneers at that notion and beats the ever-loving snot out of Barry— who of course refuses to fight back. Again, just like in from Negative, Part Two.

Eddie then hurls Barry across the room, where he crashes through numerous pieces of furniture.

You can tell this was the final episode of the show by how many sets were trashed. Allegra attacked Thawne in STAR Labs, destroying the Cortex in the process. Barry & Eddie wrecked the interior of Jitters. And now Eddie smashes up the Loft during his skirmish with Barry.

I assume the producers figured they were gonna dismantle the sets after filming this episode anyway, so why not demolish 'em for maximum production value?

• Barry then somehow convinces Eddie to remain the Negative Speed Force's avatar, urging him to fight it so they can work together and create a better world.

The Negative Speed Force desperately tries tempting Eddie, but he realizes Barry's right. He then reaches up, yanks the Blue Jolly Rancher Of Doom, er, I mean the Negative Speed Force crystal from his chest and throws it to the floor. He stomps on it, and the red skies disappear. The Loft changes from red back to normal as well.

Well that was easy! Wait, did I say easy? I meant dull, plodding and utterly, utterly ridiculous. Once again the show resolves a major "conflict" before it even starts, through The Power Of Friendship & Love. Jesus wept.

This non-resolution is lifted directly from Season 7's execrable Mother, which I still contend is the all time worst episode of the entire series. If you'll recall, in that storyline, Mirror Master/Mistress/Monarch used her clones to take over Central City. She was defeated when Iris told her to stop being such a big meanie, and that literally caused her to stop.

I don't know why Eric Wallace has such a boner for this unsatisfying plotline, but it's clearly his favorite as he's used it over and over throughout the seasons. Gods, how far this series has fallen.

Also, this scene completely glosses over an unsettling and disturbing fact. As I interpret it, the Negative Speed Force will reside inside Eddie from now on, and he'll have to spend every waking moment resisting its evil. Fun!

So this is considered a win for everyone? Doesn't seem like it for poor Eddie, who ended up getting royally screwed! Better he should have died in this episode!

• So wait... Barry & Eddie are standing in a Negative Speed Force construct of the Loft, right? If so, shouldn't it have disappeared when the Negative Speed Force dissipated, or whatever happened to it? Is Eddie keeping it intact with his newfound powers? Or are they in the actual Loft, which was just being lit by red energy? Eh, I honestly don't care at this point. Let's just keep going.

• And so ends the actual plot of the show's final ever story arc. Rather than one last all-out superhero battle, we got Barry defeating Eddie through the Power Of Friendship. The last seventeen minutes of the episode are filled with maudlin relationship drama and the resolution of a few loose ends. 

Jesus Christ. Talk about a disappointment! I cannot overemphasize enough how thoroughly unsatisfying this was. The storyline didn't end so much as it just stopped. It felt for all the world like Eric Wallace wanted to get the superhero shenanigans over with as quickly as possible, so he could focus on the characters talking about their feelings. 

Feh.

• Over at STAR Labs, everything's back to normal:

Allegra: "Guys, Jay's confirmed it. The red lightning is gone. The timeline is back to normal."
Chillblaine: "Which means the whole Legion Of Zoom is right back where they belong too."

OK, one look out the freakin' window would have confirmed the red lightning was gone. Did they really need Jay to tell them that? Another prime example of unnecessary exposition— no doubt for the benefit of the viewers who're diddling with their phones instead of watching their TV screens.

And how convenient that Thawne, Zoom, Savitar and Godspeed were all restored and sent back a split second after Eddie plucked them from their timelines— where they'll now all instantly die.

That's what happened, right? Eddie confirmed earlier that he took them from their individual timelines a split second before their deaths. So if Chillblaine's right and they're "all right back where they belong," then they're dead again. 

Methinks the writers completely glossed over this little fact.

• Chillblaine examines Chester and gives him his report:

Chillblaine: "Despite being hit by enough electricity to kill an entire circus full of elephants, Runk here doesn't have a scratch on him. And I think I know why."

Wait, what? As we saw a few scenes back, Thawne savagely blasted Chester with Negative Speed Force lightning, coming very close to killing him. So now we're meant to believe those blasts were just plain old electricity? That doesn't seem right. 

I assumed the Negative Speed Force was composed of some form of esoteric energy not normally found on Earth. If it really is just everyday electricity, how the hell would that give Thawne speedster powers?

Chillblaine continues:

Chillblaine: "Buddy, your blood is generating Hawking radiation at a molecular level."
Chester: "But that's the same kind of energy that you find inside of black holes."
Chillblaine: "So I think that back in the day, when your consciousness bonded with that black hole, some of that cosmic energy bonded right back with you."
Chester: "Okay are you saying that I have black hole powers? Like I'm a meta?"
Chillblaine: "Technically, your genes do contain a Consciousness-Honed Universally Neutralized Kerr anomaly."
Chester: "Hold on. I'm a C.H.U.N.K.? I'm a CHUNK, baby! I'm a CHUNK! C-H-U-N-K! Oh, dazzling Dwayne McDuffie. Wait, does this mean I'm gonna be a superhero now?"

Lots to unpack here.

First of all, Chunk was a character from the comics, who debuted in 1988's The Flash Vol. 2, #9. Chester P. Runk developed a matter transmitting machine, but for reasons it imploded and became part of his body. He then became a living black hole, as his body could absorb any form of matter. Now calling himself Chunk, he had to absorb large amounts of matter every day in order to keep the machine inside his body from consuming him as well.

Chunk started out as an adversary to the Wally West version of the Flash, but eventually became a trusted ally.

Clearly that's the direction the writers are heading here with TV Chester. Though why in the name of Stan Lee's toupee they waited till the final episode to do so, I have no idea.

When Chester hears he's now a meta, he utters another of his Black History Month epithets, saying, "Dazzling Dwayne McDuffie!"

McDuffie (who of course was black) was a prolific comic writer who worked for Marvel, DC and other companies. In the early 1990s he was one of the founders of the Milestone line of comics, which featured numerous black, Asian and Latino characters. Sadly, McDuffie died in 2011 at the much too young age of just 49.

Oddly enough, McDuffie had absolutely NOTHING to with creating Chunk, nor did he ever write even a single issue of The Flash.

Chunk was created by writer Mike Baron and artist Jackson Guice, so it would have made WAYYYYYY more sense for Chester to have invoked their names. They're both white though, so clearly that just wouldn't do. Instead they just had Chester shout out a random writer's name, for no other reason than because he was black. Racist!

• Enjoy this final skyline view of Portland, Oregon, which has played the part of Central City for the past nine seasons.

• Cut to the hospital, as Team Flash anxiously waits for Baby Nora to be born. Once more, a lot to cover here!

First of all, Joe's back! I'm surprised by this, as earlier this year there were numerous articles stating he'd signed on to appear in just five episodes in this final season. They foolishly wasted FOUR of those appearances in the abysmal Red Death story arc, and then he appeared in A New World, Part One. I figured that meant he wasn't gonna be in the freakin' series finale, which would have been bullshit.

And yet here he is. Maybe the articles were wrong (inaccurate info on the internet— madness!). Or maybe they were smart and shot these final scenes during one of his other appearances and then spliced 'em in here.

However it worked, I'm glad to see him here in the finale.

I also find it weird that Adult Nora is there... basically waiting for herself to be born. Only in a comic book show!

And why is Khione standing five hundred feet away in the distant background? Is she social distancing?

Lastly, note the various gifts the members of Team Flash have brought for Baby Nora. You can't really make it out here, but Adult Nora is holding a purple onesie with her XS logo on it. Chester's got a tiny baby-sized version of Jay Garrick's Mercury helmet. And Chillblaine's got his arm wrapped around a plush polar bear. Because he has ice powers, get it? Eh? EHHH?

OK, I'm sure Chillblaine probably walked down to the gift shop and picked out the bear. But where in the name of sanity did Nora get a onesie personalized with her own logo? Or Chester a miniature Mercury helmet? This isn't a case of Heavy Duty Nitpicking here— it just plain doesn't make any sense!

• Timeless Wells then shows up, and informs Khione that it's time for her to ascend. You remember him, right? He's the original Harrison Wells, builder of the Central City Particle Accelerator. He was murdered back in the year 2000 by Eobard Thawne, who assumed his appearance and identity.

When Nash Wells sacrificed himself to save the Speed Force, leftover energy particles somehow resurrected the original Wells. He now had the memories of all the various Wellseses, and could time travel to any point in his lifespan (Quantum Leap style). He now spends his life living the years he had with his wife Tess over and over, occasionally helping out Team Flash. 

So why's Timeless Wells acting like he's old friends with Khione, when the show's never once hinted of any connection between the two of them? Don't know! 

It's also a shame that Timeless Wells was apparently too busy to help Team Flash with the Legion Of Zoom, as I'm sure they could have used his help. Ah well, it all worked out anyway.

• At long, long, LONG last, Baby Nora is finally born.

Check out the intense and pointless lens flares in this shot. Who directed it, JJ Abrams?

• Barry grips Iris' hand as she gives birth, which generates a yellow & purple spark. I guess we're still doing the "Iris Carries A Bit Of The Speed Force Within Her" hooey, eh? Can't say I was ever a fan of that particular little trope, but there's no point in complaining about it now.

• Iris then gives birth to a healthy six month old baby girl! Seriously, look at the size of it— that kid's half a year old if it's a day!

To be fair, TV shows have been pulling that trick all the way back to I Love Lucy, so I can't fault The Flash for doing the same thing here.

• Later at STAR Labs, Khione says her heartfelt and "tearful" goodbyes to everyone, and then ascends to... somewhere. And just like that, the smoke clears and Caitlin's standing there, none the worse for wear.

Jesus wept.

Can someone please explain the purpose of Khione's character and her non-arc? As shown last season, Caitlin & Chillblaine invented a technobabble machine to try and bring back Frost. Caitlin got in it, but it transformed her into Khione— who turned out to be some sort of Earth elemental or goddess or some such nonsense. Now that the series is over, Khione's decided to ascend to a higher plain, restoring Caitlin to her factory settings.

WHAT!?!?!? 

So basically Khione did a whole lot of nothing all season, and then in the series finale she buggers off and leaves Caitlin in her place. What the hell was the point of any of that? WAS there even a point? If so, it's completely lost on me. 

I can't speak for anyone else, but all this scene did was infuriate me. We could have had an entire season of the highly superior Caitlin, but instead were saddled with this Wish.com knockoff. 

Also, wouldn't it have been nice if when Khione ascended, she restored FROST as well as Caitlin? She's a goddess after all, so surely she could have easily done so. Plus this finale was all about happy endings, so what could have been happier than reuniting Frost with Chillblaine?

• At the Loft, Barry & Iris throw a party for the entire cast. And I do mean ALL of them. A few things here:

Joe, Cecile, Chester, Allegra, Chillblaine and Caitlin are also at the party. We also see Chief Singh (wearing his stupid fedora), but strangely no Kristin Kramer. 

Iris' Central City Citizen Media employees Taylor and Arriz are there as well. Wait, what? So... do they know Barry's secret identity now? They'd kind of have to, right? How else could Team Flash explain why Iris is hosting a party for all these metas?

Timeless Wells is there too, for some reason (?). Why's he there? Isn't he supposed to be spending every second with his wife in some sort of time loop? Maybe he's tired of her constant nagging.

Also, at one point Barry apologizes to Caitlin for destroying her attempt to bring back Frost last season. Caitlin says it's fine, as if she's had an entire season to think about it and move on. 

Except that she hasn't! From her point of view that incident happened just a week ago, so I'm calling bullshit on her forgiving attitude here.

We also see Jay Garrick at the party, with... Speed Force Nora? Or is it his wife Joan? Actress Michell Harrison's played so many different characters on the show that sometimes it's hard to figure out just who she's supposed to be in a given episode. The credits list her as Joan Garrick, so I guess that's what we're going with.

But wait... aren't they both from Earth-3 now? So I guess they hopped universes just to be at this party? How'd they get invited? Multiversal texting?

• Speaking of the Speed Force, what the hell happened to her? Last week in A New World, Part Three, she appeared in STAR Labs and said she was battling the Negative Forces on the astral plane. Later Team Flash has this conversation:

Cecile: "Speed Force Nora showed up in 2023. She said that she was under attack and that all that remains of the Speed Force lives in your family. And then she vanished."

Nora: "Big Nora's gone? Dad..."

Barry: "I know. Explains why we can't feel her anymore."

So what the hell did all that mean? Did the Speed Force die, or did it get better? Did the battle between the Forces end when Eddie chose coexistence instead of conflict? Does the Speed Force exist only in Barry & Nora now? 

Apparently none of this is any of our goddamned business, as it's never addressed. And never will be, since these are the final ever moments of the series.

• At the party, Nora holds her newborn self and coos at her. I don't care what anyone says, that should be against the laws of nature and destroy the timeline.

• Joe then hijacks the party and makes it all about himself, as he finally proposes to Cecile. Yep, that's right! Contrary to popular opinion, the two of them were never married and have been shacking up ever since they met.

Like most fans, I assumed they got hitched a long time ago too, till last season when Jay Garrick guest starred and called Cecile "Miss Horton."

Joe's proposal is something to behold, as he says, "Babe, over the last few years, I have watched you take on a second career, become a superhero and be the best mother Jenna could ever have. And I know that wherever our dreams may take us, we will always keep loving each other."

Well, she definitely took on a second career alright, as she decided to stay in Central CIty and play superhero while Joe & Jenna moved out of town! Everyone knows ALL the best moms abandon their children and only see them for a few hours on the weekends. Jesus Christ!

And astonishingly, Cecile's taken completely by surprise when Joe proposes to her. Cecile. You know, the person who with powerful empathic and telepathic abilities. That Cecile.

Does anyone read through these scripts before they film them?

By the way, Jesse L. Martin was CLEARLY drunk during this entire scene, and nothing anyone says will ever convince me otherwise.

And who could blame him? He likely needed some liquid fortification before he could force himself to say this dialogue! 

• CALLBACK TIME: Sometime after the party, Barry looks wistfully at a copy of The Runaway Dinosaur, his favorite book as a child. Of course he'd buy it for little Nora to read to her.

The book first appeared in Season 2's, er, The Runaway Dinosaur (natch). Alas, it's not a real book and was made up just for the show. Many fans believe it's a nod to The Runaway Bunny by Margaret Wise Brown. It's the story of a young rabbit who thinks up various ways to run away from home— each of which is blocked by his mother.
 
By the way, the book underneath The Runaway Dinosaur is titled John's New Broom. It appears to be a fake book as well, as I searched all over the internet and came ip with nothing. Kudos to the Prop Department though, as both look like actual legitimate children's books. Well done!

• Nora's mobile is made up of her XS symbol.

This is an example of the Bootstrap Paradox, right? Barry & Iris probably had the mobile custom made after seeing the symbol on Adult Nora's costume. But she likely got the idea for it from the mobile. So where'd it come from originally? 

• Circular Storytelling Time: Barry picks up Nora and tells her a story:

Barry: "I need you to believe in the impossible. Can you do that?"

Baby Nora: (coos)

Barry: "Good."

This is the same line that started the episode, and again, the one he used to kick off the entire series nine years ago.

• Barry then decides to create a better world for his daughter, and to that end takes off running. At one point he zooms past a sign for Ferris Air. In the comics it's where Hal Jordan, ala the Green Lantern, originally worked, but here in the Arrowverse it's just a generic aviation company. It's appeared on the show several times before, in Pilot, Revenge Of The Rogues, Rogue Air, The Flash Reborn, Girls Night Out and Good-Bye Vibrations. 

Note that Ferris Air is located in Coast City, so Barry apparently just ran halfway across the country!

For a brief second I thought we were gonna see Barry give up his powers in the present by sending them to himself nine years in the past. Nope! That would have been poetic and a nice touch, as well as a nod to The Flash comics.

Instead he's decided it's time to share his speed, so he flings three bolts of Speed Force Lightning into the air, in order to create more speedsters. Apparently he took it upon himself to turn three random people into superheroes, completely disrupting their lives. Remember that time years ago when Barry said they needed consent to give villains the meta cure? Apparently the writers don't! How was that situation any different than this one?

Anyway, the lightning strikes Avery Ho, who we first saw last season in Impulsive Excessive Disorder. She had the hots for Bart Allen, not realizing he was from the future and that there was little or no way their relationship could ever work.

In the comics, Avery Ho is the Flash of China, as well as a member of the Justice League Of China— which I didn't realize was a thing. Kind of confusing for her to call herself "The Flash" as well, but whatever. 

The lightning also strikes Max Mercury, who to my knowledge has never appeared on the show before.

Max is also from the comics, where he had an interesting history. He first appeared in National Comics #5, way back in 1940 (!). There he called himself Quicksilver (no relation to the Marvel superhero of the same name), and had powers virtually identical to those of the Flash.

Little was known about this version of Quicksilver, other than that his first name was Max. Oddly enough, his speedster powers were gradually downplayed, until they were virtually phased out altogether (?).

DC Comics revived the character in the early 1990s, renaming him Max Mercury. This new version of the character was born in the 1830s, and was a member of the US Cavalry. He gained superspeed from a dying Indian shaman, and regularly traveled through time, attempting to enter the Speed Force. This landed him in the 1940s (where he became Quicksilver).

Eventually Max traveled to the 1960s, where he became a mentor to Wally West (aka Kid Flash), and later to the 1990s, where he did the same with Bart Allen (aka Impulse).

Reading all that, it feels like they took the mentor elements of Max Mercury's backstory and grafted them onto Jay Garrick. It would have been interesting to actually see Max added to the cast though. But his presence would have taken precious screentime away from Cecile, so I can see why he never appeared.

Lastly, Barry's lightning strikes someone named Jess Chambers.

In the comics, Jess is a non-binary speedster from Earth-11, who goes by the name of Kid Quick. Chambers serves as the sidekick to their aunt Jesse Chambers, aka Jesse Quick— which isn't the least bit confusing.

Kid Quick would often travel to Earth-0, and was a founding member of the group Teen Justice.

Note that none of these characters are named in the episode— they're there strictly as fan service for comic readers. Civilians will have absolutely no idea who they are, and will likely wonder why these three complete randos are in the episode.

Seems kind of pointless to me to introduce all these characters in the final thirty seconds of the episode, but what do I know.

So wait a minute here... based on this scene, Barry's apparently been able to divvy up his powers and share them with others this whole time. Meaning he could have made an army of speedsters at any point in the series, but chose to wait till the finale to do so. Jesus Christ. I'm out of here.

• And that's the end of The Flash, ladies & gents. And what an end it was, too. We should have gotten a thrilling and epic wrap up to the series, full of breathtaking action and startling revelations. Instead we got a loud and embarrassing wet fart of an ending, as the show literally shit itself and waddled off the screen in shame. Which perfectly sums up the quality of Eric Wallace's writing.

Feh.