Thursday, April 25, 2024

Are You OK, Zack Snyder?

I think someone needs to check on Zack Snyder and see if he's OK...

If you'll recall, Snyder was the hack, er, film auteur who gave us the abysmal Man Of Steel— a grim, gritty and dismal take on the Superman mythos, in which the beloved hero went around snapping the necks of his enemies. 

It was also one of the most... Freudian movies I've ever seen, as it featured these "space capsules" that looked shocking like gigantic black dildos. Giant flying black dildos.

Look at those things! They're positively X-rated! They couldn't look more like giant penises if they tried! They even have foreskins! I can't believe that no one on the set took a look at those things and said, "Maybe we should go with a different design here."

The Kryptonian architecture is just as phallic, as the El family compound looks suspiciously like the tip of an enormous dick, complete with pee hole.

The interiors were just as bad, as the doorways are decidedly vaginal.

How the hell was this movie not rated NC-17?

This pornographic theme continues in Snyder's latest sci-fi opus, Rebel Moon. This thinly-disguised Star Wars ripoff, er, homage begins with a shot of a wormhole opening in deep space, as a ship thrusts through the opening.

Take a good look at that rift there. Yep, that's a giant space vag.

Can't wait for the twin planets that look like tiddies, an asteroid that suggests a pair of testicles, or a white hole that spews white hot plasma all over an ass-shaped planet.

Jaysis, it's like a horny fourteen year old boy somehow got a gig directing big budget studio films!

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